Jenny McCarthy & Autism

I promised to blog about my take on Jenny McCarthy's recent media appearances to discuss her book and her son's autism, from which she now declares him recovered. I've waited a while to comment on this because I wanted to catch more than one interview before forming an opinion. Plus, I needed to let the dust and my thoughts, settle first.

In a nutshell, here's my take.

Through her celebrity status, Jenny McCarthy brings tremendous awareness to this topic. God bless her for that!

Her celebrity allows helps her open doors to major media that most parents/authors/advocates only dream of. But I am concerned by the renewed focus on 'curing' children with special needs and/or 'recovery' and how such terminology may be interpreted by others.

I am not alone in my concern. In spirited conversations I have had with people since Jenny's appearance on Oprah and Larry King Live (among others), I've heard such concern repeated often.

This e-mail came to me from Lisa, a mom of a child with special needs:

"I want to comment about Jenny McCarthy on Oprah. In my opinion, she focused too much on curing the child. She did qualify her statements by saying that the treatments may not work for everyone. But I still thought the focus could have been more on how she adjusted to the diagnosis and maybe given more emphasis to good educational programs and giving attention to the many foundations set up to help children with special needs. I wish Oprah would have a show with mothers of all types of special needs. This way everyone will have someone that he or she can relate to."-- Lisa G, M.S.,CCC-SLP

Well said, Lisa.

We should also remember that Jenny McCarthy's son is still very young, and while I am thrilled for both of them at his apparent progress (as well as for the hope she's providing millions of other families), I can't help but wonder what future challenges this child and mom may still face, especially during the challenging school years.

Is he really as saved from this diagnosis as she now believes? And if not, then what?

I also find it interesting that high functioning Asperger's syndrome has not even been addressed in any of the author's lengthy interviews (partly because the interviewers are probably not fulled versed on their subject matter either). My belief is that the interviews Jenny has given have been far too limiting given the complexity of the topic.

Still, one can clearly hear the loud sigh of relief from millions of frightened parents hoping beyond hope that Ms. McCarthy is the new autism Messiah who's right on with her story of courage and hope and yes, recovery.

Are these families being well served? Or is it far too early, and misleading, to call Jenny's son 'cured,' even recovered, and is it important that we do so? Or are we again in danger of perpetuating stereotypes that there is something wrong with these children and because they have a disability they need fixing? Could we better spend valuable media time and discussion talking about how to best address having a child who struggles in any way in all its richness and complexity?

One thing these discussions make clear, the research for a cause(s) and potential cures for autism must continue. Families are struggling and they need and deserve both answers and support.

Which brings me to my own hope that the millions of families whose attention Ms. McCarthy has now commanded will not forgo other important early intervention programs and services and limit themselves soley to what are still unproven treatments for autism. Such a decision could cost some children valuable time and developmental gains they cannot get back later. Early intervention is critical to these children, as it is for many children with a wide range of special needs. I know without a doubt that it made the difference in my own son's life.

I believe a more valuable approach to addressing autism would be a discussion that opens up the possibility of new treatment and causes, in conjunction with the use of proven programs/services.

Jenny McCarthy's emotion and deep love for her son have clearly played a key role in his developmental success, something which drives home my belief in the power of a parent's love to move developmental mountains! Kudos to her for her example.

But I also believe she must become better educated about the definition of autism itself (a definition she struggled with when asked on Larry King Live), as well as challenges facing the disability community, if she is to continue to speak effectively to the topic given the sacred platform to which she has now committed herself as a spokesperson and advocate.

Self education goes with the media blitz & advocacy territory that comes with being an effective spokesperson for any important social cause. Those of us who have been doing this work for years understand the demand well. Unfortunately, with it's focus increasingly on celebrity guests, the media often loses sight of this.

I've been writing, speaking and advocating on special needs topics for nearly twenty years. It's a complex discussion not given to easy answers or simplistic solutions, especially as it involves autism. Ms. McCarthy has helped open the door to valuable discussion. My hope now is that the media will look past her celebrity and expand this discussion to include the voices of parents who have walked this road as long-term advocates and spokespersons.

Perhaps then we will be able to share with other not only the hopeful emotion and love that this mom in particular speaks to well, but also the needed facts and resources about a wide range of disabilty. The challenges facing these families are often universal, but too rarely discussed when we focus soley on one disabilty. There is power in numbers...and disabilty numbers are huge.

Jenny has been given an amazing opportunity to inform and educate the public. She must be prepared to do justice to that role, or risk having her valuable story and experiences easily dismissed as little more than an emotional mother who is not facing the reality of her son's diagnosis (an argument most parents have heard against their hopeful declarations at one time or another!). I admit that too often I found her answers a combination of clear relief at her son's progress, a mother's mountain-moving passion, and well, Jenny McCarthy being Jenny McCarthy on camera.

I wish this loving mom and her son the very best in the future, and hope Jenny continues to bring awareness to a difficult and frustrating diagnosis. I also hope that her son continues to thrive while serving as an inspiring example of what is possible for other children. I applaud this gutsy, famous mom for what she is doing with her talent and celebrity, and for fearlessly addressing special needs- no easy feat when you live in La La Land, where human perfection too often determines human value.

(One footnote: I am impressed with Holly Robinson Peete and look forward to hearing more from her).


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Jenny McCarthy & Holly Robinson Peete on Oprah Tuesday, Sept. 18th

Just a heads up to those of you who want to catch Jenny McCarthy and Holly Robinson Peete's discussion about their children's autism on Oprah. The program airs tomorrow, Tuesday, Sept. 18th.

McCarthy is no doubt making the major media rounds with the release of her new book Louder than Words: A Mother's Journey in Healing Austim. The book is already #1 in special needs titles on amazon.com and I would not be at all surprised to see it hit #1 in overall titles after the Oprah appearance. That's the kind of exposure to a cause that celebrity (and Oprah!) can bring, and such exposure can be great for awareness and understanding of the diagnosis, if it is handle well.

Like many of you, I will be watching the program closely, curious to see what the hour's focus will be, and hoping that it isn't so much about 'fixing' children, as it is on how to best accept such a diagnosis while working to give your child every opportunity for life success, regardless of the challenges presented.

Autism is an especially challenging diagnosis for many families. Let's hope this hour is time well spent and that it proves of value to the millions of families who tune in searching for needed support for their children, and for themselves.

I'll blog more on this after the program airs.

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

LETTER TO ERIC- Back to School Inspiration for Parents of Kids with Special Needs

It's that time of year again when back-to-school advice is everywhere you turn.

If you check out my previous blog, you'll see that I've added my strong voice to this discussion as well. But getting ready for school is about more than new backpacks and jeans and IEPs and figuring out how to work with brand new team members. It's also about attitude adjustments and big parenting dreams.

This is often a highly emotional time, especially for families of children with special needs. It's a time when guards are up, and a parent's expectations are often questioned by others who may have never met their children, yet act as if they already know all about them and their future outcomes.

Not all back-to-school needs can be met at Wal Mart.

So I've pulled a sacred letter from my writing archives to provide you with some back-to-school inspiration to help calm some of those frayed nerves that might be working overtime right about now. It's a letter I wrote my son as he left the safety of our family nest to test his fragile wings at his neighborhood school in 1995.

Talk about an unnerving time...

Instead, it turned out to be the beginning of a challenging and rich journey filled with life lessons that remain deep in my heart and soul today, powerful experiences that continue to fuel my work as a writer/speaker/advocate. They have molded me into the person I am today, someone of whom I hope Eric is proud.

Unfortunately, my son passed away in 2003 at 12, ending our back-to-school adventures. But every Fall, I feel Eric's special presence, smell his sweet hair, see his enchanting smile, and remember with deep love and gratitude the back-to-school adventures that we took together. They turned out to be the adventures of a lifetime.

May these heartfelt words of one mother inspire you in much the same way as they continue to touch me. Perhaps you'll even be moved to begin your own letter-writing tradition. I highly recommend that you do just that.

Now, please pass the Kleenex......and have a wonderful first day of school!


LETTER TO ERIC
August 28, 1995

Dear Eric:

Today, as you begin kindergarten, I’m writing you a letter, a tradition I began with your big sister, Jenna, seven years ago.

The first day of school is a fall rite of passage, like brilliantly changing leaves, crisp evening air and earlier bedtimes. For our family, it also represents hard-won success. Some professionals believed the physical challenges of cerebral palsy would prevent you from learning in a regular school environment. Armed with cold, hard statistics, they warned of a life of segregation. But our family doesn’t bank on statistics. We invest in the human stuff, like love, faith and hard work.

We chose a different road.

From the moment you first dramatically graced our lives, we’ve focused on your ability. In turn, you have exhibited a spirit of survival that astounds me. We’ve endured too many moments of grief and ignorance. Yet, what I remember most is your first smile and giggle, your first word and your success at a regular preschool.

You are a wise and handsome child, with inquisitive brown eyes that miss nothing. Much of your ability to positively impact others has come from their first impressions of you as a cute child. Your long and lanky frame holds just thirty hard-won pounds, but you are far from being a lightweight in this life. There have been critical hospital stays, invasive procedures and moments when your life was in peril. But today, we celebrate school and a powerful lesson in letting go.

Today, our family is no different.

In your back-to-school outfit of GAP overalls, white Mickey-Mouse T-shirt and black Oshkosh shoes, you charm me. But there will be challenges. The ground we tread is fresh, presenting a challenge to those uncomfortable with inclusion, a word promising equal educational opportunities for all children. Some people won’t understand our fight and won’t want too. Yet, other educators will also teach from their hearts.

This will be a year of new challenges. When people assume physical challenges include mental impairment, you’ll be the first to forgive. I pray that others in this new world take time to discover how gifted and talented you really are. I want to meet the new friends willing to look past your wheelchair and into your eyes—and into your soul. I eagerly await book fairs, walking down school hallways and making red finger Jell-O at Christmas.

As your special bus disappears from sight, I’m a wreck. In a rare moment, I doubt. Are you ready? Am I ready? Your bus is equipped for wheelchairs and separates you from your able-bodied classmates. Someday, that too must change.

You grin at me through the tinted bus window. You are more ready than I am.

As the bright, yellow school bus disappears from sight, as its larger version did with Jenna many memories ago, I’m overcome with emotion. Safely inside, I release the tears of far too many harsh moments spent in the presence of people wrongly judging your value. But my tears of frustration and anger give way to unconditional love for the wise little soul who has become my greatest life teacher.

You are much wiser than most.

As you begin this new journey, son, you must continue to grow increasingly independent, just like other children. But I promise that dad and I will be right beside you ready to dry your tears on the roughest days, and thrilled to champion the dreams that others will try to tarnish.

Forgive them.

On this exceptional day, words can only begin to express what I feel in my heart, Eric Richard Winter. Thank you for coming into my life and teaching me more than I ever thought I had to learn. I’m incredibly proud to be your mom.

With much love always,

Mom

p.s. Have a wonderful first day in kindergarten!!

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

QUICK TIPS for Back to School & Special Needs Students!

I can't believe that summer is almost over, but with the back-to-school media and retail blitz beginning in earnest, it must be true! So, I'm coming in from the beach briefly to give you my seasonal input on this important subject- I can't completely let go of the summer sand, surf and blazing sun quite yet....even if it has been too darn hot and humid!

Global warming anyone?

We all know we shouldn’t judge others based solely on outward appearances and physical beauty, right? But fact is, in today’s celebrity obsessed universe, looks do matter more than ever before— especially when trying to lay claim to a coveted place in those unnerving and rigid school social hierarchies, including at the lunchroom table!

Remember some of those awkward moments and the guts it took just to show up, much less eat the food???

Navigating school social systems can be tough reality for kids with special needs at greater risk for teasing and bullying because of their differences. The social challenges facing these students hoping to fit it with their peers can make the annual rite of back-to-school preparation extra important.

So here are five simple back-to-school tips for parents to help get their children with special needs off to a great school year start—allowing them to navigate the often unnerving school hallways with a tad more confidence:

•Get your child a good haircut in a current style.

•Go back-to-school shopping with your child and allow him/her to select a cool backpack, the necessary school supplies, and their clothing.

•Outfit your child in stylish, up-to-date clothes and include a sharp new first-day-of-school outfit. If your budget is of concern, shop discount stores, sale racks, second-hand shops and garage sales in upscale neighborhoods. Make preparing for the school year FUN for both of you!

•Pay close attention to your child’s personal grooming every single day—that includes clean hair, clean body, and clean clothes.

•To help reduce stress and alleviate those first-day jitters, visit your child’s school before the school year begins and allow him/her to meet their teacher, principal and bus driver. Talk about the first day of school in advance.

Also, as most of you know by now,the choices made by parents of children with special needs are often the key to determining that child’s educational— and life success.

Here are five tips to help parents become increasingly empowered and effective child advocates:

•Believe in your child’s value—no matter what!

•Believe in your child’s right to an appropriate education, and to their right to attend their neighborhood school whenever possible.

•Check your child’s school file to make sure that the information included is accurate, up-to-date and appropriate. If it’s not, take further action.

•Foster your child’s growing need for independence; don’t further disabled your child—enable him or her!

•Educate yourself about your child’s needs and their educational rights under the law. It’s tough to advocate effectively without such knowledge.

Now, I've got to go get the sand out of my ear....

For these tips and more for families of children with special needs, check out my book Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations (Jossey Bass/Wiley Publishers, copyright 2006), or visit www.JudyWinter.com

2007 Maui Writers Conference

Attention all you writers and wanna be authors out there!

There's still time to sign up for the Maui Writers Conference retreat and/or conference held Labor Day weekend. According to the official MWC website, New York Times bestselling author John Saul calls this 'simply the best writing conference in the world.'

Lots of other talented and accomplished people in the writing/publishing world seem to agree. The organizers are especially skilled at attracting accomplished, and yes, even famous individuals representing a wide range of genres, including fiction, nonfiction, scriptwriting, publishing, etc.

Access to top agents and publishers (for a fee) is always a big draw, making it easy for starry eyed writers to get caught up in the intoxication of an exciting, face-to-face career opportunity. It may help lessen the sting of rejection if you understand upfront that few writers will leave with an agent or book deal in hand. Fact is, many writers and their works may not be ready yet. Still, the opportunity to get top-notch professional feedback on your work is priceless, and yes, it can be life changing for some. My advice is to listen carefully to professional feedback that can help make your work even stronger and increasingly marketable.

The MWC has been especially good to me, and I've always had a fantastic time while attending, especially once I've learned to slow down the pace (it's way too hot to multi task there, something the locals discourage anyway!). True, I found my agent at the MWC and a book deal soon followed. But I have also benefited from many terrific sessions and outstanding guest speakers. In addition, the professional comaraderie shared easily among the writers in attendance pays off handsomely in lingering professional inspiration (and valuable contacts) throughout the year. I have also formed some cherished, lasting friendships.

Unfortunately, a previous commitment will keep me away from the enchanting Island this year. But I will be in Maui in spirit. Once you have gone, it's hard not to remember the experience fondly.

The MWC is a motivating, inspiring, at times electric experience that improves each year, one worthy of the investment. It's an event I highly recommend, and the views alone are pure inspiration! You can find out more at wwww.mauiwriters.com.

Aloha!

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day to all you terrific dads out there in parenting land!

While we too often overlook the critical role dads play in healthy families, I hope you never underestimate the power of your parenting role. Kids needs their moms and their dads in their lives.

If you are a dad who isn't involved in your child's life in meaningful and loving ways, maybe it's time to do a gut check and reevaluate your priorities. A child's welfare, and their future, is the responsibility of both parents.

To those of you dads who give it all you've got every day, you deserve to enjoy today's recognition and thanks. The rewards of your efforts are priceless. Enjoy them.

Have a blessed day!

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Wall Street Journal Infiniti Ad

For those who are interested, feel free to check out my profile in the Infiniti ad campaign that appears on page A3 of today's Wall Street Journal. I think the creative team did a terrific job of capturing what I do and why I do it in the space allowed. (Although, there is no way I'm complaining about being included in a one-half page ad in this outstanding newspaper!). Here's hoping this terrific exposure creates even greater awareness of this important topic and population, one that needs to be covered more often and in greater depth by the mainstream media.

If you don't have your own copy of the WSJ, note that I will put up the direct link to the ad once I have it.

Huge thanks to Infiniti and its creative team/agency for recognizing the value of what I do, and for sharing a part of my story in their cool weekly ad campaign.

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Shrek the Third Missed the Mark

Okay, I admit that I went to see Shrek the Third this weekend, even though I don't have any young children, and I know that it knocked Spideyman from his skyscraper perch because the entertainment news is all over that reality.

But I don't get what the fuss is all about. I'm not trying to be an ogre with a bad attitude, but I went to see this movie to be entertained. I expected to laugh loudly along with all those adorable chatty kids in the theater, especially the curly haired little cutie sitting next to me who asked boldly what I was doing sitting next to her daddy?! I assured her I was only there to see Shrek!

I was expecting the easy laughs that came with the first two movies, laughter that made me leave the theater still smiling and feeling fine. But this time, not so much laughter or enough movie-goer satisfaction. My husband and I agreed just a short time into the plot that this was going to be a long movie...and we should have visited the restrooms first!

As a writer, I found the writing tired, the plot repetitive, and the jokes too few and far between. What happened to all the great humor relief provided by Donkey and Puss 'N Boots in the first two installments? Why did they save this winning duo's best work for the closing credits- a highlight of the movie?!! Give me more cat and donkey interaction and less ogre, please!

If you're looking for a fairly harmless movie to take your kids to, especially if you like noisy movie theaters so you don't have to worry so much about keeping your child quiet (I remember having that concern many times when my son was young and noise/touch sensitive!), then go see it. But you might want to leave your great expectations at home.

Unless the writers get their creative mojo back on track, Shrek may have run it's magical course.

But that's just my humble opinion...

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs Raising the Bar of Expectations

Parent Letters

Huge and long-overdue thanks to all you terrific moms and dads and other assorted family members who have written me during the past year to tell me how my book is changing your lives, and the lives of your children.

One of the best parts of my work is connecting with other parents all over the country. I wrote this work for you, so it's been a blast connecting with so many of you these past months. I've listened to your heartfelt stories in major cities and the suburbs, in neighborhood cafes and airports, in television and radio stations as I prepared to be interviewed, and even in bookstore bathrooms!

We've shared tissues and tears and laughter and big hugs. Your words of struggle and success have touched me deeply, and provided me with the kind of powerful inspiration and motivation that allows me to continue my passionate work in light of my son's death.

Too many times your heartfelt words have reminded that as a nation, we have a long way to go to better serve this important population and their dedicated, often overwhelmed families. Like many of you, I'm doing what I can to help change that harsh reality. There is more than enough work to go around. Take on the piece that you can.

One amazing reality has become incredibly clear to me: There are lots of good folks taking on the challenges of special needs parenting with no experience or training, and doing so with remarkable determination and guts, and a whole lot of love for their children, no matter how tough the challenges those children present. I salute each and every one of you for the battles you take on each day for your children, especially when those demands go way beyond just being tough.

As I take a bit of breather and lighten up my travel schedule this summer to recover from the hectic pace of the past year (and to work on my tan!) I will be sharing some of your thoughts, including about my book. Thanks to those who have already shared their words and their permission.

If you want a forum to share your special needs parenting successes and topics for discussion, please email me through the form on my website JudyWinter.com, but no attachments, please. I won't open them. Put your message/photos in the body of the email. I'll do my best to share your words in the hope they will support others in their daily special needs challenges. You will increase your chances of seeing your wisdom appear in print if you stay brief and concise in your emails.

In the meantime, stay strong and focused. Keep laughing!
And give your child an extra big hug for me.


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

A Belated Happy Mother's Day

Dear Moms!

Forgive me!

I meant to say Happy Mother's Day to all of you yesterday on what was the official day of celebration. But my own celebrating got in the way!

So here is my slightly late tribute to all those hard-working moms, especially those who take on the challenges of addressing a child's special needs. What an amazing bunch of worker bees you are-- too often underappreciated and undervalued, and certainly underpaid. Yet what you do each day is critically important to the healthy growth and development of the world's children.

It's a mighty big job, with big responsibilities. You must endure the sometimes harsh judgement by others certain that the job could have/should have been done better. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart...especially when your child has special needs.

As I've traveled the country extensively the past year promoting my book, I have been honored and blessed to meet some of the most amazing women. They are passionate, gutsy moms who are facing their children's challenges head with deep love and amazing determination. I believe that mothers who work hard to raise their children with (or without) special needs to feel loved, valued and a true part of this world are the best moms that anyone will find anywhere. They inspire me. Some even make it look super easy. You and I know darn well that it's anything but.

Well-deserved kudos for a job well done can be tough to come by much of the year, making Mother's Day extra special. My own mother passed away just a few months after my son was born. Talk about lousy timing... There were so many moments during those early parenting challenges that I could have used her support and wisdom. Still could.

Many years have come and gone, but I still miss my mom. There's nothing quite like having a loving, supportive, and good smelling mommy in your corner, especially when life takes a particularly tough, unexpected (even stinky) life turn. If mom's a good cook, that's even better! Try hard never to take your mom for granted. Savor all her hugs and kisses and unwarranted advice, and her cooking (for better or worse), while she's still here. Because a mother's absence, and the resulting loud silence, may be realized much sooner than you expect, and you can never change that harsh reality.

My hat's off to each and everyone of you for the demanding, sacred role that you play in the lives of your children each day. My applause might be a day late, but then I believe moms should be recognized and celebrated every single day for the remarkable parenting loads they carry so well. Rather than being late, consider my words a well-deserved extension of yesterday's all-too-short celebration!

Huge thanks for all you do, because Moms Rock!

Happy Mother's Day!

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Autism & Aspergers w/Peter Finch KFOG

I'm back from a terrific San Francisco campaign, and still playing catch up! I will blog more about those incredible experiences, and some other important recent world events, soon.

Today, I want to share with you a terrific program on Autism & Asperger's Syndrome hosted/produced by Peter Finch of KFOG. Peter is a popular radio personality in the Bay Area who has an 18-year-old son with Asperger's. He's been doing a terrific job of supporting and covering this topic in the media and in his community for some time. Peter is helping create priceless awareness of special needs, especially about ASD.

That's parent & dad power at work!

Peter's program, The Beat of the Bay, aired this morning and it includes an interview with me. But that is just one part of what I find to be an informative, energizing program on the challenges of ASD and special needs parenting. I know I learned some exciting new things. I think it's worth a listen. Here's the link

http://www.kfog.com/community/takepart.asp (click on: May 5th/Autism and Aspergers)

You can also view my appearance on the popular new San Francisco Show (simulcast on internet worldwide) The View from the Bay with Spencer Christian and Janelle Wang, two terrific hosts! Here's that link!

http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=viewfrombay&id=5207088

I'll be blogging more on all that other news soon.

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

If this is Spring, it must be IEPT time!

For many families, Spring brings with it the promise of increasing daylight hours, blooming flowers, fun outdoor activities, and thoughts of summer vacations-- and yes, an abundance of those pesky Individualized Education Program Team (IEPT) meetings that help state your child's goals and objectives and services for the next school year. (Sorry to sneak in the IEP with all that fun family stuff!).

The reality is that IEPs are often unnerving and frustrating events, even for the most well-prepared families. So here are five key tips to help you make the process a little less stressful, and increasingly productive. You can find more in my book Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs:Raising the Bar of Expectations.

Sometimes, the simplest actions can make you feel more empowered and effective!

First, you must believe in your child's value and their right to appropriate educational opportunities before ever setting foot in that meeting. Everything else stems from embracing this belief in your child. It will make you fearless. Do a gut check- what do you want for your child?

Educate yourself about the IEP process.
Do your homework before the meeting and answer the following questions: What exactly is an IEP? How important is it to your child? What does it include? What is your role in the process? How does the law support your child's educational needs? How does it all work? Several good resources can help you do just that, including: www.ed.gov.

Dress Professionally and Be on Time!
Listen without interrupting. Use good eye contact and sit up straight. Avoid profanity and threatening behaviors that escalate tension and do little if anything to help your child get what they need. Taking the high road can help you feel increasingly confident and competent in what is often an emotionally charged atmosphere. It may earn you more respect and support- and yes, even results. Look and act like the important team member that you are!

Use children-first language and request that others do the same. Don't allow others to define your child by disability or use limiting, negative labels and language to discuss him/her. Don't ignore your child's needs, but ask that all present address those needs in more positive, productive ways that focus on solutions, not problems. No child's potential should be limited because of negative perceptions from inappropriate or excessive use of labels.

Include your child in the IEPT meeting. They have a right to be there. It is their life everyone is discussing afterall.

Debrief after the meeting.
These meetings can take your breath away- and not in a good way! Adenaline is pumping and stress levels are high, no matter how well it all seemed to go. Take time to refuel and recover by doing something fun. Go out for pizza, take a walk, watch funny movies, or read your child his/her favorite story. End your day with some much-needed balance.

One final note: Never skip out on your child's IEPT meetings! If you don't care enough to advocate for your child's best future, and yours, why should anyone else? Make a better choice- one worthy of your child!

Remember: You are your child's first and most important teacher-and not just for a school year, but for life.

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Today is National Sibling Day 2007

Did you know that today is National Sibling Day?

That presents a great opportunity for families to recognize and celebrate the important sibling bond, especially in families with special needs. Perhaps in no other family is the sibling bond so incedibly challenged, yet so remarkably rewarding. The emotional and physical challenges these brothers and sisters face together often build a rock-solid bond and fierce loyalty that is too rarely understood by the rest of the world. It's often an inspiring bond to witness.

Take some time today to check in with all of the sibs in your household and talk about the gifts that come from the special sibling bond, regardless of the daily challenges presented. Perhaps this is a great time to open up that honest discussion, too.

Siblings in families living with special needs are my heroes. Today, I salute their valuable, life-changing roles!

They serve as a much-needed example to all of us.

For more information about siblings and special needs, including SIBSHOPS visit: The Sibling Support Project of the ARC of the United States, at www.siblingsupport.org

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Congratulations to NCAA Champs the MSU Hockey Team!

Congratulations to the Michigan State Spartans who got themselves a shiny new 2007 NCAA title! No, not in football, not in basketball (men's or women's) but for HOCKEY! Who would have thunk it????

Kudos to my Spartans who beat Boston College 3-1 last night.

GO GREEN!

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Easter 2007

One of the things I love most about Easter, (besides decadent chocolate coconut eggs!), is the focus on spiritual renewal and new life. That gives us permission to experience our own seasonal rebirth, something especially comforting after a long, dreary Winter, or abstaining from red wine for Lent!

We get the chance to start anew, again!

No matter what other bad news is going on in our dangerous world, Spring always brings with it the marvel of new life. There's those spunky little flowers that push boldly through frozen ground, or swelling buds on tree branches that moments before seemed barren, and birds singing sweet melodies confidently at dawn, replacing all those annoying alarm clocks. Nature's orchestra is in full production with a glorious show worthy of Broadway- one not to be missed!

Dare I say it's even magical?

This week, take a needed break from your daily grind, the 24/7 news reports, and those worries about your child's next unnerving IEPT meeting, and notice the rites of Spring unfolding in your own backyard. Explore its meaning for your own life. Then start fresh.

Because after all the chocolate bunnies, marshmellow peeps, and grandma's leftover ambrosia salad and salty ham have been consumed, rebirth is the empowering message of Spring.

Try hard not to miss it.

Happy Easter!


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Calling all Artists Ages 16-25 with Disabilities!

Calling all artists ages 16-25 with special needs!

VSA Arts (I LOVE this organization!) is holding a 'National Juried Exhibition for Young Artists With Disabilities'. The theme is 'Driven'. The exhibition is sponsored by Volkswagen of America Inc., and there are big cash prizes!!

Postmarked deadline is June 29, 2007. So get busy!

To find out more, visit www.vsarts.org

Good luck!

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

National Public Radio Airs Piece on Eunice Kennedy Shriver

Kudos to National Public Radio's (NPR) Morning Edition for airing a well-deserved and well-produced piece today about Eunice Kennedy Shriver and her on-going work with Special Olympics.

I am a huge fan of this terrific woman and the organization she began as Camp Shriver in her backyard decades ago. Ms. Shriver has been one of my role models and a stellar example as I pursue my own passionate work on behalf of those with special needs. That's why I included a special tribute to Eunice Kennedy Shriver and Special Olympics (and an insightful interview with her son, Timothy Shriver, Chairman of the Board of Special Olympics) in my book Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations.

If you want to be reminded of the power of one person to take on a huge social justice issue and impact lasting, critical change, do yourself a favor and check out this morning's piece at www.npr.org- and be sure to read the tribute in my book, too!

I feel better just knowing that Eunice Kennedy Shriver, and her family, are at work in the world. These people are terrific examples for the rest of us.

Now, what are you doing today to change a child's life?


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

MTV Program: True Life: I'm Autistic

I admit that I'm not always a fan of MTV programming, but I applaud what they aired on March 18th. The program True Life: I'm Autistic profiles the lives of three teens living with varying degrees of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) as they go about their daily lives and pursue their dreams.

The remarkable young men include:

Jeremy, 17, who uses a simple portable speech machine that allows him to finally communicate directly with his peers.

Jonathan is an autistic savant, the term used to describe someone who has a significant disability and exceptional talent. Jonathan's talent is painting.

Elijah is 16 and has Asperger's symdrome, the term applied to higher-functioning autism. He wants to be a stand-up comedian.

The program does an outstanding job of letting the story tell itself as each of these young adults, with the amazing support of their incredible parents, pursue their life dreams in the face of a complex, often frustrating disability.

For more information on the program, and to view a clip of this terrific show, visit the MTV website: http://www.mtv.com/ontv/dyn/truelife/series.jhtml

This is the kind of responsible programming that MTV can be proud of- and a valuable media effort that can help others have a greater appreciation for and understanding of autism and other disabilities.

Another terrific resource for those interested in learning more about autism is the documentary Normal People Scare Me. For more information on this and other important film projects in the works by the mother/son film team of Keri Bowers and 17-year-old Taylor Cross, who has autism, visit: normalfilms.com.

Both looks are worthy of your time!


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Spartans Make Us Proud

Okay, so my Spartans came up a bit short against UNC in last night's NCAA Round two game. But they gave us a thrill, leaving everything they had on the court and allowing even the most doubting fan to believe that the seemingly impossible might just happen afterall. What a thrill ride!

Like most Spartan fans today, I couldn't be prouder of this team. They showed guts and resiliency, tons of class, and a never-give-up attitude, a tribute to their terrific coaching. The best news for Spartan fans this morning is the realization that all that tremendous talent, plus some new blood, is coming back.

Last night, this group of exceptional young men gave the nation a preview of coming attractions. The Spartans served notice--they will be back. And while MSU may have ultimately been beaten by a deeper bench and some remarkable athletic talent, in no way is this team a loser.

If there's one thing I love it's seeing a perceived underdog rise above the tough odds, silence the naysayers and create some magic. That's just what this team did in 2006/07. Unfortunately, this Cinderella story ended too soon

But just wait until next year....

Congratulations to Coach Izzo and the men's MSU Spartan Basketball Team! Thanks for another great season!


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Go Green!! ...Spartans not Leprechauns

Sometimes you just gotta put aside your focus on all things special needs and try to put some much-needed balance back into your life. That's what I'm doing today.

I'm a wee bit Irish (aren't most us?!?) so my focus today is all about being green. But I'm not talking about the green of Leprechaun lore and colorful beverages that make you a wee bit giddy.

I'm talking about MSU Spartan basketball!

I admit I'm not much of a sports fan, although I have suddenly adopted my husband's life-long passion for Tiger baseball. You live together long enough, and those kind of strange things begin to happen.

But I do love my Michigan State Spartans (my alma mater). I'm a big fan of coach Tom Izzo, who with all his coaching fame seems to still have his head on straight, and his ego in check. Plus, he's built a terrific program focused on nurturing, even demanding, the responsible growth of his players both on and off the court, something alone worthy of recognition. Each year, Izzo's program is filled with talent, integrity and class, and good kids.

How often can we use those words when talking sports today?

NCAA tourney time, complete with the Green & White, comes along just when us hearty Michiganders are in desperate need of some real proof that winter weather is almost history. That sleepy groundhog 'Pete' just loves tormenting us with that all shadow no shadow stuff...... But if Tourney time is here, it must be Spring, right?

Today, my team, a #9 seed, is clearly the underdog in the NCAA round two game with the highly favored #1 seed, North Carolina. That's a fact, we know it because they say it's so in all that rabid media coverage by all those people supposedly in the know.

But the Spartans and their die-hard fans are used to being underdogs, especially during football season when we have to boldy face my twin sister's alma mater, the Michigan Wolverines. That record? Not so great.

But we're talking basketball now, folks. Being the underdog is a role that we Spartan fans even relish at times. It makes us who we are. 'Cause just when the bulk of the positive kudos is going to the other team, the big Green machine likes to sneak up and spoil the party-- and screw up the odds.

And that's exactly what those of us who bleed Green/White are hoping will happen tonight!

Afterall, today is St. Patrick's Day, the day when we celebrate and honor all things green, right? And there's nary a Wolverine in sight....

Go Spartans!

May the Luck 'O the Irish be with you tonight!

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

San Francisco/Bay Area Campaign- A Writer's Dream!

If there's one thing you learn fast as an author in today's publishing world it's this: If you want your book to stay alive in the competitive publishing marketplace, you had better be willing to help promote and market it, continually. (Btw: that often means hiring a publicist, so budget for it! I'm fortunate to have Kathlene Carney on my team. But I digress...).

I know most wannabe authors don't want to hear about their role in promotion and marketing. Afterall, most writers would rather be sitting on their behinds doing what they love most--writing. I understand well that passionate, creative, gypsy like urge that makes us want to hide out and weave words together.

It is what we do, afterall.

But promo/marketing/media interviews is part of today's publishing world. It goes with the new territory and those expecting otherwise (with rare exceptions of the 'Harry Potter' magnitude) will be disappointed, even disallusioned if left unprepared for this surprising reality.

Like other businesses, the publishing industry is dealing with on-going reductions in budgets, staffing and bottom lines. That means authors are expected to step up and fill the void. Plus, authors know their work best. No one is as vested in the book's outcome or how it is received in the public eye than the writer, who lives and breathes the work for months, even years. Once the flush of the initial publishing courtship dance is over, the new author must promote, too.

That said, I've just completed one national radio campaign, although some of the interviews are still to air. Everyone I worked with was terrific! But I'm already movin on. After a few stops in between, including the Bucks County Conference near Philly, I'll be heading to the San Francisco/Bay area in April, and I couldn't be more delighted. The Bay area is home to my publisher, my editor, my publicist, and until recently, my agent, who's now exploring life in Oregon.

Lots of good folks call the Golden State home, and I have been the beneficiary of some of their great publishing expertise. Plus, it's just beautiful country. It's no wonder people leave their hearts there...

In case you want to know more, here's that campaign info!

SAN FRANCISCO CAMPAIGN
(Please check back often – schedule subject to daily updates.)

Judy Winter, award-winning writer, national speaker and the author of Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations, will hold a talk and book signing at Towne Center Books, 555 Main Street, in Pleasanton, CA on Friday, April 20th at 1 p.m., and at the Pleasanton Library, 400 Bernal Avenue, CA on Monday, April 16th at 7 p.m. The author will also be a guest on the KNTV program Bay Area Today on Monday, April 16th and on KGO-TV's The View from the Bay on Tuesday, April 17th. Judy will conclude her visit to the Bay area with a presentation at the Resolve NC Adoption Pathways Symposium at the Bay School Campus in San Francisco on Saturday, April 21st. For more on Judy's schedule and her on-going work on special needs, visit: JudyWinter.com.

Detailed Schedule:

Monday, 4/16/07-Bay Area Today-NBC Affiliate KNTV-TV/ 10 a.m. to 11 a.m.

Monday, 4/16/07—Public Affairs Show, Alice • KLLC, Live 105, and Movin' 99.7 (Taped-TBA) • San Francisco, CA

Monday, 4/16/07—Author Event • 7 p.m. • Pleasanton Library • Pleasanton, CA

Tuesday, 4/17/07-Benefit Magazine Radio Show with Ruby Rippey Tourk/ Interview Taped-Airdate TBA /San Francisco, CA

Tuesday, 4/17/07-Guest on The View from the Bay, KGO-TV (ABC affiliate), 3-4 p.m. PT/ San Francisco, CA

Thursday, 4/19/07—Conversations with Robin Fahr, TV30 Tri-Valley Community Television (Taped-TBA) • Pleasanton, CA

Friday, 4/20/07—Author Event/Signing • 1 p.m. • Towne Center Books • Pleasanton, CA

Saturday, 4/21/07—Presentation/Book Signing: Adoption Pathways Symposium/The Bay School Campus • San Francisco CA a.m.

Saturday, 4/21/07-Interview with Peter Finch-KFOG Morning Show, San Francisco, CA/(Interview taped-Airdate TBA)

PLUS-Another Interview on the East Coast!
Friday, March 30: Live Interview on The Lisa Birnbach Show / 9:15 to 9:45 a.m./ New York City/ http://greenstoneradio.com

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Facing the Unexpected

Do you have those days when you wonder if the universe is working overtime in the tough-news department solely for your benefit?

I'm not talking about what's being covered by Wolf Blitzer in the CNN Situation Room. I'm talking about the kind of real-life drama that immediately disrupts our daily personal lives and schedules and messes with our heads-- and with our hearts, no matter what other wonderful stuff is coming our way.

In the past few weeks, I have taken in the shocking news/funeral of the suicide of a friend's teenage son, the threat by another, breast cancer within my closest inner circle, a friend's surgery, the senseless murder of the wonderful gallery owner of the charming venue where I held my book release party last year, and the fourth anniversary of my son's death. All this, while good things continue to happen in my professional life.

It can be tough to catch your breath or enjoy your successes when this kind of news just keeps on coming at you. Unfortunately, I've had more than my share of practice in coping with bad news in life. Perhaps, that makes me more skilled than most when it comes to survival.

This kind of news always serves as a humble reminder of how fragile life really is, and how important it is that we live it well each day. Someone more jaded might call these simple words trite. My life experiences has proved them true.

When life deals us and those closest to us the toughest of news, how do we cope well? How do we boldy emerge from under the covers and take on the dicey adventures of another day?

Me? Well first, I take a really deep breath or two and then let them out, along with some powerful tears, a few choice words and ultimately a prayer. Then, I go write. 'Cause purging myself through the written word is how I have always coped best with life's sometimes crummy, unpredictable twists and turns.

Writing it all down completely unedited never fails to help me set my emotional demons free and regain my footing....at least for a little while. That footing then allows me to move forward in more productive ways, maybe even offer a much-needed shoulder, some chicken soup, or supportive words on a beautiful card to a hurting friend. That kind of human action and warm touch offers healing both ways.

Now, how about you?

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

March is Brain Injury Awareness Month

Did you know that March is Brain Injury Awareness Month?

Traumatic Brain Injury, or TBI as it's more commonly known, is one of those injuries that can happen to anyone at anytime. If you or a family member is living with the results of a traumatic brain injury, first, know that you are not alone. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) each year approximately 1.4 million Americans sustain a blow or injury to the brain that may result in on-going special needs.

For more information on living with TBI, visit the Brain Injury Association of America where you can download a free Brain Injury Awareness Month Kit: http://www.biausa.org/Pages/biam2005.html.

And please, make sure that your kids, and you, wear helmets when riding bikes and scooters or engaging in risky sports. That's just one way that you can help reduce the chances that a TBI will impact the lives of those you love most.

This is one disability that you can help prevent.

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Honoring Dana Reeve's Legacy

Amid all the so-called news about Britney and Anna Nicole and yet another American Idol controversy, it hardly seems possible that this week also represents the first anniversary of the death of someone worthy of our attention.

Dana Reeve was a remarkable human being, and one great example of how to live life well under the toughest of circumstances. At a time when our society is in dire need of positive role models, Dana Reeve is deserving of our pause, our reflection and yes, our news coverage. As I continue my work on special needs, Dana Reeve remains one of my greatest life examples and I will not forget her.

It seems like only yesterday that the shocking news of her lung cancer diagnosis, and ultimately her death, was reported in the media. Because I had interviewed Dana Reeve for my book Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs just weeks before her diagnosis, the news hit me hard. The loss of both Christopher and Dana Reeve was a blow to those of us who care deeply about improving the lives of individuals with special needs.

Few in history have done as much as this terrific twosome did to create much-needed awareness of the value of those with special needs. They recognized the critical need for good research, resources and support to address the daily struggles faced by millions of people with disabilities worldwide. They made crucial political inroads with policy makers in Washington.

Their passionate, ground-breaking work and advocacy should never be forgotten. It must continue. Theirs is a solid foundation upon which other valuable special needs advocay work is being built today.

In the words of Christopher Reeve, we must go forward.

That's why I encourage you to recognize this important anniversary by supporting the work of their foundation, work that is today spearheaded, in part, by the Reeve's children. To learn more about about how you can help honor the lives of these two special needs giants and continue their legacy, please visit what is now called the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation at www.christopherreeve.org, and consider giving a gift. It's one simple way to make sure that your voice is heard, too.

That is exactly what I am going to do...cause I am so over the whole idea of Britney and Anna Nicole and naughty girls gone American Idol as newsworthy...

Please join me in paying tribute to something that really matters.

Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
JudyWinter.com

National Radio Campaign Schedule for Breakthrough Parenting

For those of you who would like to hear me talk about my book Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations check out my 2007 National Talk Radio Schedule below. You can check for regular updates on my website JudyWinter.com. You can also find my 2007 national speaking schedule & book signings there.

Through 2007, I'll be doing my best to make sure the family voice is heard on important issues impacting special needs families, including adding my take on the recent Ashley Treatment controversy. Feel free to write and tell me what issues you most want address in the media. I'll take your concerns with me. jappwinter@aol.com (no attachments, please!).

Listen to Judy’s 2007 National Talk Radio Interviews!
Please check back often— schedule subject to daily updates.

Fri. 1/19/07— KXEN-AM 1010- St. Louis, IL / (Interview Taped)
Interview Airs: 1/20@ 7 a.m. ET & 1/23 @ 8:45 p.m. ET
Jay Madas-Host/ Simulcast www.kxen1010am.com

Fri. 1/19/07— WMUZ-FM 103.5 / Detroit/ The Bob Dutko Show /1:30 p.m. ET/ Bob Dutko-Host/ www.wmuz.com

Thurs. 1/25/07-- WPTF-AM 680-Raleigh, NC/ North Carolina's Morning News with Jack Boston / 8:10 a.m. ET /Jack Boston-Host/ www.wptf.com

Fri. 1/26/07- WIBQ-AM 1220 / Sarasota, FL / 8:20 a.m. ET
Rochelle Herman-Host / simulcast at www.newstalk1220.com

Sat. 1/27/07 & Sun. 1/28/07- KCBC AM 770/ San Francisco/ 9 p.m. PT/Midnight ET/Community Focus with Pamela Reddington/ www.770kcbc.com

Tues. 1/30/07— WACK-AM 1420/ Rochester, NY/ 8:40 a.m. ET
Dr. Rus Jeffrey-Host/ www.1420wack.com

Wed. 1/31/07— Issues Today Radio Network/ Originating from Los Angeles/ Broadcast on 188 stations nationwide-check web for stations/ (Interview Taped-TBA) Bob Gourley-Host/ www.issuestodayradio.com

Sun. 2/4/07— WDTK-AM 1440- Detroit/ Disabilites Today/ 11 a.m. to noon ET/Roger McCarville-Host/ www.wdtkam.com

Mon. 2/5/07— WAWZ-FM Star 99.1 / New York City/ 10:30 a.m. ET (Taped-TBA)
Michael Leach-Host/ www.star991fm.com

Mon. 2/5/07- KPTK-AM 1090 /Seattle/ 1 p.m./ ET Taped-TBA/ Tami Kosch-Host/ www.am1090seattle.com

Wed. 2/7/07— WNTN-AM 1550/ Boston/ 11:00 a.m./ Paul Roberts-Host/ simulcast on www.wntn.com

Mon. 2/12/07- WBZ-News Radio 1030/ Boston/ The Jordan Rich Show/ 11:30 a.m. ET/ Taped-TBA/Jordan Rich-Host/ www.wbz.com

Wed. 2/14/07— WFHM-FM 95.5 & WHK-AM 1220/ Cleveland/ 11:30 a.m. ET (Taped-TBA)/ Family Matters/Caroline Kruse & Jacquie Chakirelis-Co-Hosts/ www.955thefish.com

Fri. 2/16/07-Conscious Talk Radio Network/ Washington State/ 10:33 a.m. ET/ 7:33 a.m. PT/ Rob Spears & Brenda Michaels-Hosts/ simulcast @www.conscioustalk.net

Mon. 2/21/07-Autism One Radio /Worldwide Broadcast/ 10 a.m. ET-(Interview Taped-TBA)/ Randy & Sandy Waters-Hosts/ www.autismone.org

Wed. 2/21/07— WOGL-FM 98.1 Philadelphia/ (Interview Taped-TBA)
Brad Segall-Host/ www.wogl.com

Weekend of Feb. 24/25-airing of interview taped Mon. 2/12/07- WBZ-Talk News Radio 1030/ Boston/ The Jordan Rich Show/Jordan Rich-Host/ www.wbz1030.com

Sun. 2/25/07-KPTK-AM 1090 /Seattle/ (taped on 2/5/07)/ 7 a.m. PT/ 10 a.m. ET/Community Matters with Tami Kosch-Host/ www.am1090seattle.com

Mon. 2/26/07-Dr. Pat Show/ National/ 11 a.m.- Noon ET/ 8 a.m.-9 a.m. PT/Dr. Pat Baccili-Host/ www.HealthyLife.net

Weekend of March 3rd & 4th, 2007-Issues Today Radio Network Interview (Taped in February) program originates from LA, airs at 188 stations nationwide/ Check www.issuestodayradio.com For listing of all national affiliates- then check that station for broadcast time

WILS AM 1320, Ebling & You/ 5:35 p.m. ET/ Host-Jack Ebling/ Lansing, MI

JudyWinter.com

Get Organized!

With 2007 just a couple of weeks old and many kids back in school, now is a great time to get a handle on all of that paperwork generated by your child's special needs. I know firsthand how easily, and how quickly, all those reports and other documents can take over your house - and your life.

It's time to get organized!

When you need to put your hands on important information quickly, and end up spending valuable time searching through mounds of paper and notebooks to find it, that adds to your stress load. Most families of children with special needs already have far too much stress in their lives, right?

That's why I'm a big fan of good organization!

Don't let the nasty paperwork trail take command of your life! This is something you can fix, and you can begin anytime the organizational spirit moves you. For most of us, the activity will prove relatively painless, and anyone can do it in the privacy of their own home.

Be aware that the earlier in your child's life that you begin this habit, the less 'catch up' work there will be waiting for you down the road. That will make your job easier. If your child is older and you have accumulated a much larger paper trail, try to break it down into more manageable chunks. Then, make a commitment to doing a little bit each week until you have it all organized.

Your actions will pay off in spades as you prepare more easily and more effectively for all those stressful and on-going meetings and appointments, including annual IEPT meetings. That helps fuel parent empowerment!

Here's my simple formula for getting a grip on your child's records:

-First, get yourself some colorful file folders, stickers, and three-ring binders. I vote for anything that looks less institutional! Also, purchase some black markers or make sure the ones you have are still going strong. If you prefer colorful markers, use 'em. Just make sure you can read them easily when searching through your files.

The purpose of getting organized is to reduce stress, not increase it.

-Next: Create whatever and however many files you need for categorizing your child's life needs, esp those that generate reports of any kind. Here's a sample of the kinds of files you may want to create: Medical (you may prefer separate files for physicians, specialists and hospitalizations)/Education/Individual Services (OT/PT/Speech)/Misc Programs & Activities/ Childcare-Respite/Personal (may include a favorite photo, birthday card, a child's artwork, etc).

-Once you have gathered the materials you need, find a good working space where you can keep everything out for a few days as a continued work in progress. If you have to remove everything to serve dinner each night, use a laundry basket.

-Gather all your supplies. Put on your favorite music, and don't be shy! Sing along loudly. It helps up the mood and energy for the task at hand.

-Sort through all your paperwork and place all reports/paperwork into the appropriate piles and label those piles so you can easily add to them.

-Organize the paperwork and throw out anything you don't need, including duplicates (shred any paperwork that has sensitive information). Reducing the load will help you keep your files more manageable. Don't throw away any important official documents (i.e. IEP, therapy reports, etc), or those with special sentimental value.

-I suggest placing one copy of official reports into appropriately labeled three-ring binders so you can find them when needing additional copies for meetings.

-Label the folders and/or binders.

-Place important papers into folder so that you can easily access them as needed. Keeping track of medical records will help you hand over a copy of your child's history quickly during visits to specialists and for hospitalizations without relying on your memory, something especially tough to do during stressful visits or emergencies.

If age/ability allow, invite your child to help you decorate the files with stickers, etc. to make them even more user friendly. Help your children feel part of the decision-making process about their own life (think self determination!).

-When finished, place the files/binders alpabetically in a file cabinet or other storage place where you can easily put your hands on them. If you need to purchase storage boxes for this purpose, make sure you do that before starting the process.

-Update the files regularly so you don't fall too far behind on your paperwork (reduce stress!). Schedule a time each week to address filing neeeds.

-Also,provide a corresponding file on your computer where you can add the most critical dates and details so you can also easily print out a copy without going through all the records in your child's files.

Getting organized can help you to become a more empowererd parent by allowing you to easily access the information needed to address your child's medical, educational and other needs more accurately, and more productively.

Finally, don't forget to have fun! We can all use a bit more of that in our lives!
Let me know about all the creative ways in which you make this project even more productive and fun! email: jappwinter@aol.com.

Now go to it!

JudyWinter.com
Author: Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

I Have a Dream, Too, Dr. King

Today, the nation pays tribute to the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, and rightly so.

Still,I can’t help but ask why so many discussions involving discrimination and equal rights focus mainly on race. Skin color represents one form of injustice against which we must be vigilant. But the definition of discrimination is much broader. Discrimination involves more than only race, something those with special needs understand far too well. That's why I believe we should all take time to understand and reflect on the meaning and power of today's celebration.

Robert F. Kennedy once said, "When the rights of one are denied, the rights of all are endangered." Like Kennedy, Dr. King knew this reality well and spoke eloquently about it. As someone who parented a child with cerebral palsy for nearly thirteen years, I understand the power of that statement well, too.

It wasn’t race that first inspired me to embrace the doctrine of equal rights, although I support the continued struggle for racial equality. It was my challenging role as the parent of a child with a disability.

I am an upper-middle class, white female with a successful career as an author, journalist and speaker on special needs issues. I have been married to the same man for thirty years. I have two children and live in an upper-middle class suburb, complete with a white picket fence. I have never gone to bed hungry, experienced homelessness or been the victim of racial profiling.

But I’ve felt the sting of discrimination intended to deny someone basic human rights. My brushes with intolerance stemmed from the limiting words and actions directed toward my son, who had cerebral palsy and used a wheelchair. Eric passed away in February 2003 at the tender age of twelve, but each act of intolerance directed toward him is forever deeply etched in my mind.

From all the outward appearances, no one would believe that I would be the subject of discrimination. Our definition is too narrow, something that allows many people to easily turn the other cheek to this discussion.

Fifty-four million Americans have disabilities; 170 million people worldwide have intellectual disabilities. People with special needs represent the largest minority group in this country, but their struggles are rarely included in discussions of discrimination and equality. Yet, the societal struggles faced by people of race closely mirrored those of my son, making the fight for equal rights increasingly relevant to my own life, too.

Eric could not walk or throw a baseball, tie his shoes or speak full sentences. Were it not for my passionate commitment to him, he might have been denied access to his neighborhood school or missed outings because of accessibility issues he could neither address nor resolve. My demanding advocacy role has granted me renewed appreciation for the Civil Rights Movement for the work of Dr. King, and for the struggles and accomplishments of those with disabilities, achievements that too often go unrecognized.

I have renewed respect for the passionate commitment of those involved in the Women’s Suffrage Movement, and the tireless work of visionaries like Jesus, Gandhi, and Mother Theresa. Because of Eric’s needs, I’ve learned that discrimination isn’t always about skin color. Often it represents a blatant disregard and intolerance for human differences, be it race, ability, age, appearances, sexual orientation or cultural beliefs. We can and must do better by all people.

With a solid focus on my child’s intrinsic value, I worked hard to counter stereotypes about him and others with disabilities, but it wasn’t easy. It still isn't. With his bright mind, eager spirit and remarkable patience, my son taught me volumes about forgiveness and the value of diversity, and the importance of speaking up for individual justice.

My advocacy hasn’t been free of heartache.

In an increasingly diverse society, we are all beneficiaries of the work of those who fight discrimination in any form. Only circumstances separate us. As Dr. King eloquently stated in his now famous speech, “What impacts one, impacts all.” Our discussions about discrimination and equal rights should include a broader understanding of its impact on all of society, including those with special needs.

Dr. Martin Luther King's message was one of equality, peace and justice. He had a dream that all people who suffer at the hands of discrimination of any form would be truly free. I share that dream, Mr. King. That is why I recognize Martin Luther King Day, and that's why I believe that all those who care about individuals with special needs should, too.

My dream for a better life for my son, and millions of other children with disabilites, lives on. I know that Dr. King would support my dream, too.

The Cemetery Gang Offers Support in Loss

When I was a child, cemeteries scared me to death.

I associated them with every terrifying image that I had ever seen in those scary Hollywood horror flicks of my childhood-- especially the one about the disembodied green hand that terrorized unsuspecting young lovers at those once hip drive-in movies. Years later, Michael Jackson's graphic Thriller video did little to help dispel these disturbing images when it aired repeatedly on MTV. I found myself going out of my way to avoid driving by cemeteries, especially late at night, when it was storming, or on Halloween when the spirits were said to be especially restless and feisty.

I didn’t understand that cemeteries could be places of great beauty and healing until my 12-year-old son, Eric, died suddenly in February 2003. Now, I’m part of the Cemetery Gang, a term my husband and I have coined for grieving adults of all ages who visit the cemetery searching for answers to life’s tough questions. Many of us have buried children.

We come to the cemetery looking for healing and relief from grief. Some days we find it.

Marcella is our gang leader and a friend to all. Her husband died seven years ago and she still mourns deeply. The petite, silver-tressed senior citizen serves as the living cemetery angel. She tells newcomers the best clippers to buy to trim around family gravesites, and where to buy candles that burn for hours, providing light for our loved ones on the darkest night. Eric was afraid of the dark, so that information has comforted us. She gently and confidently introduces the shell shocked to this new place of refuge.

Marcella shares cemetery expertise to help mend her own broken heart. She waters wilting flowers on children’s graves on the hottest days or when families try to out run tough emotions if only briefly by escaping out of town. When the grass surrounding our loved one's gravesites isn't groomed to family standards, it's Marcella who takes a gutsy stance and advocates for needed change.

When her husband died, cemetery rituals gave Marcella a reason to go on living.

The cemetery gang is only one blessing found here. The cemetery is an important social gathering spot where true community is still found. That’s a priceless gift when death blindsides you in the middle of the night and steals away your only son. The cemetery has become my refuge, my friend and confidant, a place where strangers share intimate details of a loved one’s death.

When the cemetery gang asks you how you’re doing, they listen to your answer.

Here, I have watched innocent children gently lay flowers on the fresh dirt of gravesites and realized that we’re not born fearing cemeteries. Still, cemeteries can be brutally honest. My son is buried near a college student who was murdered, a popular cheerleader who died of leukemia, an eight-year-old boy taken by sudden illness, and an infant girl who lived long enough to receive her name.

It’s common to see graduation hats, birthday balloons, enchanting angels, well-loved teddy bears, even Christmas trees at our children’s gravesites. These stark reminders that death doesn’t discriminate, impact how survivors walk. Our gaits are less steady, our immortality less certain. We grant strangers unconditional support. Instant friendships and loyalty are formed. There is little room here for meaningless, idle chit chat.

We protect each other's cemetery turf, and one another.

The cemetery now serves as my life raft in grief’s unpredictable raging storms. After being with my son, the rough waters of daily living seem somehow easier to navigate. I have rushed to the cemetery eager to share exciting news with Eric. Then the reality of his death slaps me hard again, and I wistfully add, ‘but you already knew that didn’t you?' I am convinced that my son now serves as my omnipotent, ever-present protector.’ In the rawest cemetery moments, I’m certain that Eric can see and hear me.

Some days, I share my lunch.

I have reconnected with Eric graveside after rushing frantically to every room in my house, desperate for his scent, desperate to hold him. At my neighborhood cemetery, Eric is not lost, and neither am I.

There is comfort in cemetery rituals that defies explanation to those who have so far been saved from from this rocky path. No one escapes forever.

The cemetery offers me peace and resolution, solitude and friendship. The people here never tire of seemingly endless stories of loss, nor do they urge you to get over it and resume normal life, whatever that means. In the sacred stillness of this place, I can hear children playing on the nearby school playground where my son once played, and church bells ringing as the setting sun hides its face in a dense forest of trees. Here, I have argued tough faith issues with God, while cemetery birds sang bedtime lullabies to my son.

I have learned that cemeteries are resting places for the living. When the cards, phone calls and lasagna stop coming and people go back to business as usual, the grieving come here to remember. At the cemetery, I talk to my son and tell him how much I love him and always will. I grant myself permission to release powerful tears that have threatened to overwhelm me. I remember that Eric’s life and death both hold great meaning and promise to honor his remarkable legacy, whatever the cost.

The cemetery has made me increasingly bold. Life seems simpler, the choices clearer when you are standing on the tender grass or pristine snow of a loved one’s grave. Whatever time each of us has left is far too fragile to spend living with regret or anger. You learn to put one foot in front of the other and move forward, moment by moment, day by day, until the pain begins to ease and gentler breathing returns.

Somehow I have survived every parent’s nightmare. My son died suddenly from medical complications fueled by cerebral palsy. He died peacefully, but my grief is not less intense. My husband and I raised Eric as a child of value. He dreamed of studying music in college one day, a dream we planned to support fully. Hundreds attended Eric’s funeral, touched deeply by a life rich with promise and talent, one cut far too short. I remember all their words of love and support and admiration for my son- and remember how lucky I was, and am, to be Eric's mom.

Visiting Eric at the cemetery has helped me resume my passionate work as an author, journalist and speaker on disability parenting issues, important work he and I began. It’s work I now continue alone, fueled by Eric’s teachings and regular cemetery visits.

As I survey gravesites well tended and those rarely visited, I think Hollywood may have done a great disservice to many grieving souls by promoting cemeteries as places of fear and horror. Today, I know that cemeteries are instead peaceful places of healing and great beauty, and the Cemetery Gang understands far better than most that I didn’t bury a 'disabled' child whose value was too often questioned by society. I buried my beloved son.

In the neighborhood cemetery, everybody’s equal.

JudyWinter.com
Author:
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Ashley is Much More than a "Pillow Angel"

Every so often, a story breaks in the press that commands both the world's attention, and its prompt response. Such is the case with the story that broke this week about Ashley, the nine-year-old girl with special needs whose parents chose to have surgery to stunt her growth. Like many tough-life stories about children and parenting, this one tugs at our heart strings, while seemingly dividing us into solid camps of for or against the actions of Ashley's parents.

But there is much gray area that remains to discuss.

While this story has been played out in the press as an ethics issue, it's so much more. Ashley's story represents a human-rights struggle of grave importance, one with the potential to generate invaluable discussions about the never-ending demands of special needs parenting. Regardless of where you stand on the issue of right and wrong, the issue of disability raised by this one story (and there are many that go untold) deserves more thorough discussion.

My hope is that the media, as well as all those so quick to judge the actions of Ashley's parents, will instead take a deep breath, then add their thoughtful, passionate voices to increasingly balanced discussions that will help us create real change for this population, and their families.

If there is one point that this story has driven home, it is that for all of our apparent gains, when it comes to special needs, we are still in the dark ages.

There is no clear-cut, simplistic response to this story, and those trying to make it into one only add more fuel to the story's confusion and public outrage. That will do little to serve the best interests of Ashley, or that of others facing similar struggles. This is ultimately a story about a young girl's life, and the right to be part of what happens to her.

Briefly, here are some of the most pressing issues that I believe this story demands we discuss more fully.

First, while ethics is an important part of this complex discussion, it should not be the defining one (nor the primary topic/guest on talk shows). We need to include the voices of those who live with the day-to-day demands that this story brings to light. We should also include individuals who are living with a disability so we can make more educated decisions. This topic deserves that kind of coverage.

The reach of special needs is huge; 54 million Americans, and more than 600 million people worldwide, have disabilities. Special needs reaches across all socio-economic and cultural borders. We must stop ignoring this timely discussion and instead, do a better job of addressing and resolving the complex issues it creates. We need to reduce the number of images involving self-pity and self-deprecation.

We need to include the achievements of those with special needs in our history books and classroom discussions.

Also, we cannot continue to ignore the lack of adequate resources, services and respite care provided to the families who care for their children at home. Many families are breaking under the weight of their demands. We cannot continue to pretend that their struggles don't impact us. Special needs can happen to anyone at anytime, thrusting once typical families into unchartered territory for which they, and society, are ill prepared to handle. That's a sobering thought.

There is no clear-cut, definitive road map for the challenging journey of special needs parenting. It often does take a village...and the village, and our nation, need to step up.

I parented a child with cerebral palsy for nearly thirteen years. Eric had limited speech and motor skills and was fed through a g-tube, just like Ashley. I know about the issues raised by impending puberty and the demands faced by lifting your child every day. My back still bears the results of that tough responsibility, four years after my son's death.

Still, my husband and I agree that we could never had made a decision to intervene in our child's development in a way as dramatic as that chosen by Ashley's parents. We were always too busy focusing on maximizing our child's potential, not on changing the essence of who he was as a human being. Our choices, while rarely easy, focused on what would best serve our son's wishes, even as we fantasized about tropical vacations far away...

While there were no firm promises early on about what Eric's future development and life would become, other than dismal, we never allowed disability to define our child's value. It took years for the results of some of our commitment to be fully recognized, but ultimately we were rewarded for our steadfast parenting focus.

It took lots of time, patience and hard work. The work was at times exhausting, but when our son achieved even the smallest, most unexpected success, the rewards were exhilirating.

Like many children fed through a g-tube and lacking in mobility, we knew that our son would probably never have reached the height and weight of other typically developing children, making the weight issue a bit of a mute point for us. Perhaps that would have been the case for Ashley, too.

The fact is that the future of many children with special needs may still be up for grabs, and the outcomes may be determined by the choices that we as parents and professionals make every day to help them thrive and grow and lead increasingly productive, fulfilling and independent lives. Our decisions can last a lifetime.

Should we have the right to make decisions that cut a child's full potential short so early in their lives, or at all?

Today, many kids with special needs are still written off far too early in their development. On the flip side, I've met many others given every opportunity to thrive. The difference can be remarkable. All the successful individuals with special needs that I have interviewed during the past fifteen years credited a parent's love and positive choices for their 'unexpected' life success-- and for believing in them when all around them saw only a 'disabled" child.

Brighter futures begin with greater awareness of a person's intrinsic value, lots of love, valuable resources and services, pit-bull parental advocacy, and a mindset focused on what's possible for that child, regardless of a disability. Not every child will achieve the dream of full independence or reach those all-important, age-appropriate milestones, but don't they deserve the chance to try, especially while they are still so young?

We need to provide families and society with greater examples of those with special needs who are productive, independent, contributing citizens. We need to redefine family, and provide these families with the critical support they need to handle their challenging roles well. The lack of positive parenting examples for families helps create a sense of hopelessness that too often results in limited, self-fulfilling prophecies for their children.

I don't always agree with the decisions made by parents, including this one, but I do respect their right to seek out decisions they believe are in the best interests of their children. What disturbs me greatly here is the complexity of a decision that raises serious issues about the value and rights of those with special needs. It reminds me of the experiments that were conducted in secret on children with cerebral palsy in institutions years ago.

They, too, had no voice. We cannot allow the ignorance of the past to define the futures of our children. We have traveled too far.

I can't help but ask if the physicans in this case gave the family an opportunity to talk with parents of children with similar challenges who were handling their child's needs without such drastic intervention? I am concerned by some of the arguments attributed to the professionals involved stating that the parents' actions did not hurt their child. Today, too many professionals still foster stereotypes about children with special needs, while armed with dismal statistics and powerful, stinging words that may take away the kind of hope families need to help them create better futures for their children.

There is still a critical need for the press and public to stop using language that fosters the view of this population as less valued. That includes the use of outdated terminology that reinforces stereotypes. Words like severely disabled, handicapped, crippled, 'suffering from', brain dead and 'confined to a wheelchair' do nothing to raise the image of the value of those with disabilities. The fact is that we can still tell the stories accurately and fairly by using more up-to-date terminology.

One of my biggest arguments with the coverage of this story thus far, is that Ashley's name is often not even mentioned until far into the print or broadcast coverage. We need to focus on the fact that this girl is a human being first and foremost, not just a nameless child with a disability that we can easily disregard. That means using people-first language, always.

While there are many things about this story that concern me, I believe that we have been given an important, long-overdue opportunity as a society to address this population with the respect it deserves.

Ashley deserves at least that much from us, as do all the other children counting on us to best serve their interests and needs, not only our own. After reading their blog, I do believe that Ashley's parents made their decisions out of deep love for their child. But I can't help but wonder if those choices might have been made differently with access to more positive resources, additional dynamic parenting examples, further discussion about Ashley's future potential, and with the benefit of time. We will never know.

We cannot undo what has been done to Ashley, but we can and must remember one important fact: Ashley is much more than just a pillow angel. She is a living, breathing human being.

As a society, how long will we continue to ignore or gloss over that fact?

JudyWinter.com
Author:
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

To learn more about Ashley, this story, and what is now called "The Ashley Treatment" visit the parents' blog: http://ashleytreatment.spaces.live.com/

Laughing at Those Pesky Little New Year's Resolutions

Those of you familiar with my work as a writer have probably already figured out that I'm big on adding a humorous take to even the most infuriating and exhausting life challenges. My experience says that savoring regular loud guffaws, complete with a couple of loud, ugly snorts, can be a pretty useful survival tool, one that allows us to claim renewed perspective for even the toughest life events.

I believe that a hearty belly laugh, or even a good joke that makes us smile wide enough to show all of our teeth, holds the power to cure most of what ails us. In my efforts to help you end your year on a more positive, uplifting note, and keep all those 2007 resolutions that you are making (or not) into perspective, I encourage you to read the words of one of favorite columnists, and my friend, John Schneider. John's words about his own failed New Year's resolutions in today's Lansing State Journal made me laugh as I choked down my healthy bowl of oatmeal sprinkled with wheat germ and blueberries, and prepared to wave bye bye to 2006.

I hope that John's refreshing, human take on our mad pursuit of New Year's perfection rarely achieved will brighten your year-end celebrations, and put your own take on New Year's goals into clearer focus, too. Enjoy!

www.lsj.com / John Schneider, columnist/ Sunday, Dec. 31st entitled: "I'm not perfect yet, but it could happen in 2007."

You can also check out John's blog at noise.typepad.com/John_Schneider

...And be sure to come back and read mine regularly, too!

So long 2006! I'm ready for you 2007! I think....

Taking Time Out for You!

One of the toughest realities facing parents of children with special needs is the loss of treasured personal freedom.

If you are thinking about making valuable New Year's resolutions that can make a difference in your life in 2007, consider personal time away from the demands of special needs high on your list of priorities.

Remember all those carefree hours you once spent going to the latest movies, hanging out with friends or going for a beer after work? What about all that free time you once wasted reading current magazines cover to cover, or gardening, washing the car, or singing along loudly to the radio on last minute weekend adventures to the beach?

Remember when you could actually take the time to shut the bathroom door to answer nature's call?

Gone in an instant.

These once simple daily decisions have been replaced by big family commitments and limited free time. But with thoughtful planning, you can begin to regain some of that precious time away for activities that will help leave you feeling refreshed and renewed. Reclaiming personal freedom in families of children with special needs often requires creative thinking and lots of juggling, especially if your child has physical, medical or behavioral needs that make finding, and keeping, babysitters difficult.

Then there is the sticky little issue of the costs involved with special needs parenting that often strain family budgets to the max, especially when one parent has given up their income to stay home and raise the children.

Don't let these realities stop you.

While such concerns can make time away seem like a luxury you can't afford, time away from the demands of special needs parenting is crucial to your physical, mental and spiritual health. Think of it as going to the well when you are very thirsty. A solid commitment to self care can help you better face the unexpected parenting challenges that lie ahead, and even handle them more successfully.

With a brand new year just around the corner, this is a great time to add personal time back into your life. Here are just a few simple and inexpensive tips designed to help you escape the demands of special needs in 2007, if only briefly.

Feel free to add some of your own- then go take a walk!

Address and Prioritize Child-Care Needs.

Seek support from family, friends and community agencies to meet this need. Knowing that you have help in place on a regular basis is priceless and grants you the freedom to take time out just for you, free of guilt.


Read a Favorite Magazine Cover to Cover.

Try to avoid tough-life stories and hard news. The idea is to lighten your own mental load for a bit so you can return to your parenting role feeling more inspired, motivated and relaxed.

Exercise!

Take long walks, go for a run, or work out in the privacy of your home. Jump rope, take a bike ride, or dance in front of the mirror. Exercise helps relieve stress and can heighten self esteem, enhancing your ability to handle your parenting challenges more effectively and more positively. Practice deep breathing, too.

Give Your Partner a Foot Massage.

Or just cuddle together on the couch and share your fondest hopes and dreams. Ladies: paint your toenails, condition your hair, shave your legs or take a bubble bath. Use great smelling lotions and soaps that help improve your mood.

Make Time for Those Leisure Activities that Matter Most to You.

Golfers can practice their swing in their own backyard or at a nearby park. Anyone can shoot hoops in the driveway or at a local playground, community center or during open gym at the local high school. Visit the library or go out for great java at a favorite neighborhood cafe. If you enjoy taking photos, carry your camera with you. There are lots of great photo ops to be had during those daily outings.

Advertise for Help in College Newspapers that Attract Students Majoring in Education or Health Careers who are Eager for On-the-Job Experience.

Once you have quality childcare in place, commit to a regular date night and make it a priority. Nurturing your relationship with your significant other can make a big difference in how you handle your special needs challenges, while also enhancing and further solidifying parenting teamwork.

Laugh!

Watch funny movies, tell funny jokes, ready funny stories, even laugh at the absurdity of your own parenting demands. Laughter is healing and a great stress release. And it's one terrific, and free, coping tool on the toughest days.

Journal.

Having a child with special needs produces a wide range of powerful emotions that need a healthy, safe release. Journaling helps us express strong feelings without fear of judgment or harm.

Nuture Your Faith.

Find solace in heartfelt, honest prayer. Whatever your beliefs, there is solace and comfort to be found in spiritual practices, especially during the most difficult days.

Visit Museums, Cathedrals and Synagogues.

The beauty of these places can feed your spiritual side, and your soul, leaving you refreshed and reconnnected with something larger than yourself.

Sit and Do Nothing.

Meditate or light a favorite candle. Quiet time is rare in families of children with special needs, and the addition of it to our hectic daily lives can prove healing, soothing and relaxing. When we are quiet, it is easier to hear our own voice, and as a result, become clearer on the parenting choices we need to make now.

Take a Nap!

Many parents of children with special needs often walk around sleep deprived. Taking a nap whenever you can to help support your body's need for additional slumber, may leave you feeling more energized and in a better frame of mind for facing your demands.

You can find more tips and resources to help you better meet the demands of parenting a child with special needs in my book Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations.

JudyWinter.com