Sheryl Crow's Use of the R-Word at Michigan Concert-One Mom's A.M. /Morning AfterRant

Update: Oct. 23, 2012: Coulter's at it yet again. This time she used the word 'retard' to insult the President. Really? How 'intelligent' of her. So, that means I need to repost my Winter rant about r-word use/ignorance and I've done just that on my FB page and Twitter. 

You can talk back at Coulter, here. https://twitter.com/AnnCoulter/status/260581147493412865. 

One reminder about my rant. I like Sheryl Crow. Coulter, not so much.
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We can add Ann Coulter to this rant now, too.http://ontheculture.com/ursula-a-plea-to-ann-coulter

Per request: For those of you who have no interest in being on Facebook, and also want to share this piece with others more easily, here's my Facebook piece about Sheryl Crow and her use of the r-word in her Michigan concert last night. Read and share. Teachable moment.
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A.M. Winter Rant:

Okay, before I get into the meat of today's unexpected and longer-than-usual rant, which involves Sheryl Crow and the R-word, indulge me. I love Sheryl Crow and her music. When I recently scored second row tickets to see her in my backyard, I was one pumped-up groupie. This music dream only got better when hubby and I arrived at the Wharton Center for Performing Arts in East Lansing, Michigan last night and discovered there was no opening act. I had a perfect view of the singer and an empty chair to my right on an otherwise full floor. Crow and her band energetically and informally took the stage on time and proceeded to talk nice about our town. More points earned. Crow looked and sounded great. Blonder hair, slammin body, strong arms, looking more and more like her best friend, Jennifer Aniston, all the time. On the first song, her voice sounded better than ever. I'm loving the evening so far.

But the lovefest rudely ended when Crow invited the audience to sing along with her and joked about about how foolish this all looked. Then, she used the words 'look retarded' to further make her point. Oh yes, she did, just like her bestie Aniston, who got called on the same misuse of language a while back. The singer followed the r-word slip with words to the effect: 'That's not nice You've got to be careful what you say these days', complete with a smirk, pretending to chastise herself. Sincerity lacking? Nothing learned from her best friend's experience? Can't feign ignorance. Well, Ms. Crow, I can't pretend I didn't hear you say the word. 

Hate to spoil a good music party, but you started the rumble.

Reminder. This woman I've admired for a long time is a vocal activist for valuable breast cancer awareness/fundraising, a breast-cancer survivor and a role model for many woman. She is the single mother of two adopted children, and an important example for them. She's an extremely talented musican/songwriter who comes off as smart, kind and saavy in media interviews. Crow has big power to impact lives in postive ways, and she's done just that. Now suddenly, she appeared flip and cruel like a high school mean girl. Out of character? Or more of the same of those on-going/open-season hits on people with special needs by celebs and others? 

Enough, already.

Before she made my ears ring and heart sink, Crow talked a bit about herself, saying she used to be a more vocal activist, adding, "But when you have kids, who has the time?"

What she didn't count on was that I would be in the audience to challenge her words. Rather than reduce my role as an activist, my role as the mother of a child with special needs for nearly thirteen years demanded that role increase daily. I had to become a pit-bull activist/mom for a child with cerebral palsy who passed away far too soon, a reality that still has the power to bring me to my knees. 

Crow didn't know I'm passionately committed to improving the lives of those with special needs, including by trying to end use of deragotory, limiting, outdated hate speech. She didn't know that her word choice would cut me to the core, quickly bringing up all those tough and painful moments of trying to help my son successfully navigate a world that often refused to see his value, one quick to judge what they were certain was his 'grim' future. All those moments of swallowing unspoken anger, while trying to make things better for my son, suddenly reignited by the careless utterance of one word far too many people think doesn't matter. 

My role is to tell you why it does.

Sheryl Crow doesn't know my son loved the guitar and female singers, had a gift for music uncovered at an early age and has a popular annual music therapy camp named in his honor at the very University where she took the stage. She didn't know that Eric would have loved to attend her concert and I would have worked hard to make that happen, even if I had to carry his heavy wheelchair down a flight of stairs. She didn't know he would have been mortified by her flippant use of this r-word in his presence, and mine. 

She had no idea how much more difficult Eric's life and mine became when his physical challenges, including limited speech, caused many to wrongly assume that my son had an intellectual disability, too. Crow has no idea Eric was composing music through weekly music therapy classes shortly before he died. She had no idea that she had ruined a magical evening for this mom, and brought up tough, still-unresolved issues of parenting and loss before the guitars had even begun to sing.

To say I suddenly felt uncomfortable and angry would be an understatement, and I'm all about word choice. I could have feigned a nervous laugh, joined in with others in the crowd who still don't get what the fuss is all about. I wanted to bolt, but I stayed put, looking to make sense of a frustrating and on-going challenge of figuring out how to get people to understand why the careless banter of this one word is so offensive and destructive, and why it should stop.

The concert continued and Crow took to the front of the stage to the delight of the crowd. I was close enough to reach out and have my hand grabbed, as several people around me did. But I had no desire to reach out and connect with the singer. The excitement was gone. Nothing was the same as before she said the word. I spent the next sixty minutes convincing myself that is was my job to call her out on this. It's part of what I do. 

For the past twenty years, I've been a voice for the silent, the maligned, the underdog, trying to stop them from being the butt of rude, cruel jokes, helping them nagivate unnerving neighborhood school hallways and believe in their children's value. I speak up on their kids' behalf, when they can't or won't. So, I spent the rest of the concert writing much of today's rant in my head. I can't believe how often I must still do this. All I wanted to do was enjoy a concert and night out. But I'm a special needs advocate, and I take the role seriously. I don't care how big a star you are, the rules in my advocate's head are the same. You make fun of the population, or do things that get in the way of them living better lives, I will call you out.

Crow used a word now considered by some to be hate speech, and acted, as too many others do, as if it were no big deal, political correctness run amok. Just a joke, right? Would she had done that with other, more recognized hate speech during her concert? Would she have made fun of people who'd had mastectomies or have survived chemo and are left with physical disfigurement? Would she have made fun of other families who've adopted children like her, but then found out their children have hidden special needs, including intellectual disabilities, a big reality in today's world of international adoption? Doubtful. 

When the concert ended, I was left with an empty experience, not because Crow and her band didn't deliver musically. They did. But because the evening was tainted by a word Crow never needed to utter. She was doing just fine without it.

Reality is, I now see her differently. Maybe I scored these tickets so I could get the fuel needed for this rant to fight any complacency I might feel when I start believing we've come far in achieving valuable special needs awareness for this population and grabbing a share of their civil rights, too. Maybe this event was designed to keep me from going soft in my role of ever-vigilent advocate and writer's voice. 

I've ranted before about use of the r-word, but I'd ever experienced it firsthand in the presence of a celeb. Until last night. Sure, I could have ignored it, gotten past it and enjoyed the great concert. But I would have had to go against all I stand for. I'd be dishonoring millions of individuals with special needs worldwide, their hard-working, dedicated families, and all my work has stood for during the past twenty years. I'd be dishonoring my beloved son.

Reality is I had to fight harder for Eric every single day of his life because of the perpetuation, ignorance and lack of understanding of the value of this population fueled, in part, by continued use of one not-so-simple word. Retarded. The word continues to fuel painful, outdated and ugly stereotypes that help roadblock individuals trying make their lives count for something, too. That's why it's not just a word, and I refuse to be silent about it's careless, casual use just because this instance involved Sheryl Crow.

Crow has mucho talent, smarts, and big influence that could help create greater understanding and awareness of the special needs population and their tough fight for equality. If she doesn't know better, she should. Let's hope one day her own children aren't the subjects of cruel talk about children who've been adopted. Let's hope she teaches them that using the word retard in our school hallways, or ever, is not okay. Let's hope she teaches them tolerance, love and understanding for all. She seems like that kind of woman.

Words do hurt, and I will continue my efforts to help people better understand or at least, stop and think before they use them. I will also continue to appreciate Sheryl Crow's music, but something has changed. Perhaps she will apologize for her word choice or encourage others to end the use of the r-word at her future concerts. Maybe not.

Either way, here's my heartfelt request to you, Sheryl Crow. One loving mom, one spirited advocate to another. Please, consider refraining from using the r-word ever again in your concerts and public appearances. You don't have to honor my request. But I have to voice it. It's at the core of who I am. To quote lyrics to one of my once favorite songs of yours, 'I believe the change will do you good,' and I know it would positively impact millions of individuals with intellectual disabilities, and their families worldwide, too. Thanks for listening to MY words. 

All I wanted to do last night was have some fun. Sigh.

Rant over.

News Flash from Special Olympics- Youth Spear 'Spread the Word to End the Word Campaign'

Please consider supporting this new effort to end the derogatory use of the word 'retard'.  Here's the latest info from my friends at Kirsten Special Olympics re: the new Spread the Word to End the Word a nationwide youth initiative.

"This past February, we held our 2009 Special Olympics World Winter Games in Boise/Sun Valley, Idaho uniting nearly 2,000 athletes from nearly 100 countries.

As part of that event, we gathered 130 young people with and without intellectual disabilities for a week-long activation summit. The motivation of young people to make change in the world for people with intellectual disabilities is inspiring.

On February 9, during the week of activities, Dick Morris used the word “retarded” in a demeaning way on the O’Reilly Factor. The students of the Youth Activation Summit acted swiftly and reached out to FOX and Bill O’Reilly to educate and engage them on this blunder. On February 12, Bill O’Reilly gave an on-air apology.

Young people have found their power and are leading an effort for Special Olympics called Spread the Word to End the Word. Students across the country are planning local events for 3.31.09 to end the use of the R-word and to garner more pledges of support. Actor and National Down Syndrome Society Ambassador John C. McGinley attended the 2009 World Games and was so impressed with the actions of these young people that he has signed-on to help them further their goal.

We invite you to join us as we Spread the Word to End the Word this month. Help
the youth spread the word by mobilizing your constituents to support their
efforts. Graphics, tools and resources can be found at www.r-word.org. Your
organization and constituents are welcome to use the materials to participate in
this nationwide awareness effort to help us accomplish what we set out to do in
August 2008 – change the conversation and raise the consciousness of society
about the hurtful effects of the R-word."

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact Kirsten Seckler at
kseckler@specialolympics.org or 1-202-715-1147 or Barbara Kornblau@bkornblau@specialolympics.orghttp://www.specialolympics.org/stw_resources.aspx

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I've said it many times on this blog and it bears repeating: Words DO Hurt, especially when it comes to perceptions of and opportunities for people with disabilities. The r-word is never used to build people up.

Photo courtesy of Special Olympics. Used with permission.

Judy Winter

Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Winter Ramblings Blog

Flickr Page

The Plus Side of the Rahm Emanuel/R-Word Controversy

White House Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel, opened his mouth in a meeting last August and created a firestorm of controversy over use of the word 'retarded,' language use that has rightly infuriated many in the disability rights community, and created a media buzz that I'm quite sure Rahm wishes would disappear. His insensitive word choice came not that long after President Obama's own joke on late night television at the expense of Special Olympic athletes. Both men have since apologized for their verbal "transgressions."

Of course, there has been no shortage of loud naysayers quick to attack this challenge to free speech as liberal political correctness run amuk. "It's just a word," many proclaim, often behind the safety of anonymous screen names. But retard is much more than just a word. Use of this kind of language helps fuel outdated and limiting perceptions that get in the way of life opportunities for millions of people with a wide range of disability, and their families.

I know that pain firsthand. Although my son was bright and talented, his physical challenges and wheelchair use led far too many people, including educators, to predetermine his value and potential because they wrongly believed Eric was also mentally challenged. As a result, they expected even less from him. I've spent my life trying to right this wrong.

The R-word hurts in ways too many fail to understand.

The fact that it is so casually used today by many, including by the most educated, those in power and on reality television, shows just how far we have to go in creating greater understanding of the value and contributions of this population and the on-going human rights struggle they continue to face in 2010.

As in the case of Emanuel's vent, the R-word is meant to be a put down, and each time it is used, painful stereotypes are kept alive and reinforced, making it even more difficult for those with special needs to pursue life independence and take their rightful places in society. It's past time we recognized the need for important change in language use and life opportunities for this population, just as we have in the past for other minorities and women. It's time we told their impressive accomplishments in our classrooms and history books.

On the bright side of all this, the President's joke and Emanuel's angry slip of the tongue, have helped place valuable increased attention, spirited discussion, and priceless media awareness on the challenges facing millions of people too often ignored and undervalued in our society. The struggles of those with intellectual disabilities often mirror those diagnosed with a wide range of other special needs, making this a critical moment for many. When it comes to greater awareness of those with disabilities, what impacts one, really does impact all.

Emanuel's mistake resulted in a meeting with Tim Shriver and other special needs activists (read their statement here), an apology, and voiced support for a growing movement to end use of this outdated, painful and limiting word for millions, an effort being led by Special Olympics (highlighting it's Spread the Word to End the Word Campaign Day March 3rd) along with a national movement to legally replace the outdated terminology 'mental retardation' with the term 'intellectual disability,' a change already adopted by Special Olympics and its talented athletes.

Whether the Chief of Staff really gets the magnitude of what he's been called out on is unclear. But the White House controversy has helped highlight the concerns and voices of those with special needs at the highest level of government. That's a good thing, and long overdue.

Now, let's see what is done with the valuable lessons.

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Special Note: Today's Washington Post article by Michael Alison Chandler entitled Mentally Disabled People Campaigning on their Own Behalf explains the proposed language change from mental retardation to intellectual disability well. Click here to read the piece.

Logo courtesy of Special Olympics.

Judy Winter

Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Winter Ramblings Blog

Flickr Page

Why Doesn't DreamWorks Get it? -Protesting the Ben Stiller film Tropic Thunder

I'm adding my name/support to the growing list of disability rights advocates and groups, including my friends at Special Olympics and the Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles (DSALA), in protest of the new Ben Stiller film TROPIC THUNDER because of its negative portrayal of those with intellectual disabilities and the repeated use of the offensive, outdated word 'retard.'  It isn't funny, Mr. Stiller.

While I can't be there in person for the protest at tonight's star-studded premier of the film in L..A., I will be there in spirit.  If you are in LA, consider attending in person.  If the dignity and portrayal of those with special needs matters to you, please at least add your voice by writing or calling DreamWorks, and by staying away from this movie.  

Words and outdated, negative portrayals of this population do hurt millions of people with intellectual disabilities and their families worldwide, and DreamWorks and Ben Stiller know it, especially since DreamWorks executives met with representatives of top disability rights groups to discuss key concerns about the film.  Yet DreamWorks refused to make important changes.

(Photo courtesy of Special Olympics/used with permission).

Here's the update I received from DSALA:

Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles "Tropic Thunder" Update
Disability Coalitions Unite
August 11, 2008

WHAT:
Several National Disability Organizations are joining together to protest the star-studded premiere of DreamWorks' "Tropic Thunder" to demonstrate against the film's use of the inflammatory word "retard" and the demeaning portrayal of people with intellectual disabilities throughout the movie. Organizations supporting the protest should mobilize their grassroots members to join us. Please wear a shirt/hat with the logo of your organization. 

WHY:
The use of the R-Word perpetuates the dehumanizing and negative stereotypes of people with intellectual disabilities. "Tropic Thunder "is an enormously offensive and degrading film released by Dreamworks. The protest will focus on making all who were associated with the film and the general public better understand the hateful outcome this film is sure to create. The protest is our time to raise our voices and demand change.

WHEN:
Monday, August 11, 2008 at 4:00 p.m.

WHERE:
Gathering point will be in front of Stan's Donut Shop on the corner of Broxton and Weyburn Avenues in Westwood across from Mann Village Theatre (961 Broxton Ave). Plan on being at the protest from 4:00 - 7:30 pm. Note: There are several paid parking lots within the area.

-Additional Press:
Sunday's N.Y. Times on "Tropic Thunder"
Link: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/11/movies/11thun.html
Advocates for disabled to protest "Tropic Thunder"
Sun Aug 10, 2008 8:24pm EDT
By Sue Zeidler
Link: http://www.reuters.com/article/entertainmentNews/idUSN1029346220080811?sp=true

Statement of Support and Solidarity

-We, as organizations and self-advocates representing members of the disability community, recognize the dignity of individuals with intellectual disabilities and the challenges they and their families face in society.

-Acknowledge that individuals with intellectual disabilities have been subject to discrimination, abuse, and exclusion from society throughout history.

-Recognize that the more than 200 million individuals with intellectual disabilities worldwide, and more than 6 million individuals with intellectual disabilities in the US, have suffered severe consequences including: institutionalization, physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, denial of education, employment, and healthcare, segregation, and targeted hate crimes.

-Acknowledge that "attitudes and expectations of the public, in part, determine the degree to which children, adolescents and adults with intellectual disabilities are able to learn, work and live alongside their peers without disabilities." (President's Committee for People with Intellectual Disabilities, 2004).

-Understand that for over four decades the media has consistently mischaracterized people with intellectual disabilities; (Pardun, 2005).

-Realize that over 80% of U.S. adults surveyed feel that media portrayals are an obstacle to the acceptance and inclusion of people with intellectual disabilities. (Pardun, 2005).

-Recognize that many people, including those with intellectual disabilities, their families and friends, consider the "R-word" just as offensive as the "N-word and declare that under the guise of "parody," whether intentional or not, Tropic Thunder demeans, insults, and harms individuals with intellectual disabilities by using the "R- word." 

-Furthermore, it perpetuates derogatory images and stereotypes of individuals with intellectual disabilities, including mocking their physical appearance and speech, supports the continuation of inappropriate myths and misperceptions, and legitimizes painful discrimination, exclusion, and bullying.

Together, we declare our intention to make the public aware of the need to create and foster inclusion of individuals with intellectual disabilities as a matter of social justice by:

· Boycotting the film and explaining to our nation's children why the film is harmful.

· Educating the public, especially young people, about intellectual disabilities through far-reaching awareness campaigns to ban the "R-word," and other initiatives to permanently change attitudes and promote inclusion.

· Demanding that Hollywood studios, writers and executives pledge to make this the final chapter in a sullied history of demeaning portrayals of individuals with intellectual disabilities and assist in public education campaigns through dedicated studio funds and talent.

-Requesting that Congress investigate and conduct oversight of how Hollywood portrays individuals with intellectual disabilities and the effect these portrayals have on our nation and around the world.

Contact Info for Key Players:

DreamWorks
100 Universal City Plaza, Bldg. 5121, Universal City, CA 91608
818-733-7000

Paramount/Vantage
5555 Melrose Ave., Ball/Lasky Bldgs., Los Angeles, CA 90038
323-956-2000

Ben Stiller, Writer/Director/Producer
Read Hour Films, 629 N. La Brea, Los Angeles, CA 90036
323-602-5000

For more info, visit: www.dsala.org, or call 818-242-7871
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I want to add that the above stated commitment to the cause of those with ID is also critical to those living with a wide range of disabilities, including physical, emotional, intellectual and behavioral.  If you care about those with special needs, please let you voice be heard now. 

-And be sure to read the great column in today's Washington Post on the subject by Timothy Shriver (Special Olympics CEO) entitled What Tropic Thunder Thinks is Funny:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/10/AR2008081001869.html

As Dr, Martin Luther King said, "What impacts one, impacts all."

If you want things to change, including in the media, be a change agent.

JudyWinter.com

Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Remarks by Tim Shriver, Chairman & CEO, Special Olympics/Protest of "Tropic Thunder" Film Premiere

You won't often find me devoting so much space on my blog to one specific issue or topic.  But the on-going furor over the film 'Tropic Thunder" has rallied and united special needs advocacy leaders and groups as perhaps little ever has.  We must do a better job of joining our individual and group voices to promote disability rights and awareness. That's how real change will occur for this population.  When we join our loud voices and large numbers, we're a powerful force, serving notice that we aren't going away.  Instead, we're getting stronger, more united and increasingly committed.

Now is the time for us to be heard.  

As in prior posts, I again state my belief that this r-word issue not just important to those with intellectual disabilities (the focus of this movie's blunders), but to all those living with a wide range of disability.  An assault against the dignity and human rights of one group and a specific disability, impacts us all.  

My son Eric, had a significant physical disability.  Because of the degree of  his physical needs, including wheelchair use and severe speech challenges, many people wrongly assumed he also had an intellectual disability, allowing them to dismiss him more easily. I experienced firsthand just how quickly people doubted Eric's potential and value when armed with the limiting belief that he was both physically and cognitively challenged.  Outdated images and perceptions of this population, including those presented by the media and Hollywood, help fuel such ignorance.

Eric passed away far too soon at age 12 in 2003 and I miss him deeply.  The many tough, stinging and infuriating moments we faced due to the ignorance and lack of awareness of others helps fuel my on-going special needs work.  Eric remains my greatest teacher, complete with disability.  But nearly twenty years after my son's birth and diagnosis, much still needs changing.

We can and must do better by our fellow humans regardless of the individual challenges or diagnosis facing them.  Only a thin line of circumstance separates any of us from joining the ranks of the 54-million Americans (plus 200 million people with Intellectual Disabilities alone worldwide) whose diverse faces represent the disability community.  I know firsthand how quickly a family can join that community, leading me to ask two key questions of others, especially those who may feel this r-word-movie-thunder-noise is much ado about nothing.  It's not.

What would you want if it was your brother, sister, mother, father, cousin or friend who was impacted by special needs?  

How would you want to be treated if it were you facing disability?

What too many people don't get about this film is that it's not just harmless, box-office entertainment.  It encourages others to laugh loudly at the big expense of millions of children and adults.  As school is about to begin, (complete with real concerns about bullying), too many kids and adults may well carry the movie's negative language and image of those with special needs back into their school hallways, communities, homes, workplaces and into daily interactions with those with disabilities.  However intended, the movie will most likely help reinforce outdated stereotypes and images while granting permission for the continued careless, casual use of the offensive term retard, especially by our young people.  Hollywood can do better, and so can we.  

What follows are the words shared by Tim Shriver, Chairman and CEO of Special Olympics, at the premiere of the film 'Tropic Thunder" in Los Angeles on Monday, August 11, 2008.    Read them carefully, and then please act on behalf of the millions of people worldwide living with the daily challenges of special needs, including exclusion, discrimination or worse. 

Special Olympics has served an a model for my special needs advocacy and work for the past two decades. No one provides a better example on how to best serve the special needs population with passion, dignity and commitment. I'm grateful for their on-going example, worldwide impact, and much-needed voice on this important topic of discussion.

To sign the Special Olympics Pledge to end use of the R-Word, please visit: r-word.org.

Read on; then add your voice, too.

(B/W photos courtesy of Special Olympics/used with permission/ Top two photos: my much-loved, talented son, Eric Richard Winter).

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Remarks by Tim Shriver Chairman and CEO, Special Olympics
Protest of “Tropic Thunder” Film Premiere
August 11, 2008 / Los Angeles, California

Over the last 10 days, Stacey Snider and other leaders of DreamWorks Studios have met with me and representatives of a large coalition of individuals and organizations concerned about the film “Tropic Thunder,” the subplot film “Simple Jack” and the slogans “Once upon a time there was a retard,” and “Never go full retard.”

Members of our coalition—self advocates and family members of people with intellectual disabilities have seen the movie and reported shock and disgust. Their reactions have resonated with many of us who take their cause and their voice with the utmost seriousness. I am grateful to Ms. Snider for listening to the coalition and for taking steps to eliminate some of the most offensive marketing elements of the film. I am also grateful for her commitment to working in the future for an end to denigrating speech and hurtful portrayals of people with intellectual disabilities in film and in society. 

DreamWorks and its leaders have a powerful reputation for advancing socially and politically important issues. In particular Steven Spielberg has been a generous supporter of the work of Special Olympics for which I am deeply grateful. I look forward to counting the hopes and dreams of 200 million people with intellectual disabilities among the causes of this formidable group of creative and artistic leaders.

Now however, is the time to raise our voices against “Tropic Thunder” and the harm it is sure to visit on people with intellectual disabilities. Together with the members of the international coalition, I am asking Steven Spielberg, Stacey Snider, Ben Stiller and the entire “Tropic Thunder” team to stop the film, and asking movie theaters and movie goers to shut this movie out. “Tropic Thunder” is a colossal blunder. Don’t show or see “Tropic Thunder.”

The degrading use of the word “retard” together with the broader humiliation of people with intellectual disabilities in the film goes way too far. When the R-word is bandied about and when bumbling, clueless caricatures designed to mimic the behavior of people with intellectual disabilities are on screen, they have an unmistakable outcome: they mock, directly or indirectly, people with intellectual disabilities. They perpetuate the worst stereotypes. They further exclusion and isolation. They are mean.

Mockery in any form, or for any purpose or directed at anyone, especially those least able to defend themselves, is neither funny nor acceptable. We must bring it to a stop.

When I look for leadership at a time such as this, I look to my mentor and friend, Loretta Claiborne. She is a tireless worker, a taxpaying citizen, a courageous speaker, a world class marathoner, and an invaluable role model. Most importantly, she, like all people with intellectual disabilities, has unique gifts, that deserve to be welcomed, appreciated, and celebrated.

Loretta Claiborne has been speaking in schools around the world for over 20 years, asking children to stop using the word retard as a term of mockery, recounting the painful and terrifying ways it was used against her as a child. More importantly, she has asked thousands of young people to reach out in positive ways to their peers with intellectual disabilities: join Best Buddies and be a friend; join Special Olympics Unified Sports and be a teammate, join your parents and friends and be open, welcoming, and understanding. Over and over again, she reminds her audiences “If you open yourself to people with intellectual disabilities, you will be amazed at their gifts and amazed at how much joy and happiness comes back to you.”

She and thousands of other self advocates with intellectual disabilities deserve to have their appeal heeded.

So today, we ask all people of goodwill to follow Loretta, not “Tropic Thunder.” Parents, religious leaders, educators, employers, health care leaders, political leaders, producers, actors, directors, writers, and DreamWorks leaders: join Loretta Claiborne by launching a national effort to bring injustice to an end and mockery of people with intellectual disabilities to an end. Join the world of welcome and acceptance. Join the world’s greatest movement of human dignity and joy. Come to discover the best in others and find the best in yourself.

Name calling is a subtle but malicious practice that only serves to perpetuate stigma, fear, intolerance, and more. Ban the R-word.  Ridicule is a subtle but malicious practice that only serves to exclude and marginalize people with intellectual disabilities. Stop “Tropic Thunder.”

People with intellectual disabilities can be great athletes, productive employees, positive friends, courageous role models: Let’s open our schools, doctors offices, businesses, communities, and most importantly, our hearts to the giftedness of every human being. 

No more exceptions. No more exclusion.

And if you go to “Tropic Thunder” I would ask only this: when you hear the word “retard” and when you see the scenes filled with mockery, think of Loretta Claiborne or Eddie Barbanell or John Taylor or Miguel Diaz or Billy Quick or Sophia Wesolowsky or ….Think of their mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, friends and loved ones. Think of their daily efforts to win a place for themselves in a world that is so frequently dismissive. Think of their athletic ability, their openness, their wisdom, their courage, their ups and downs, their struggles, their smiles.

When you leave the theater, think of them again. Become their fans. Follow them in building a world dignity, acceptance, and joy for all.

Tim Shriver

Chairman and CEO
Special Olympics, Inc.
1133 19th Street NW
Washington DC 20036
1-202-715-1147 - office
www.specialolympics.org
______________________

JudyWinter.com

Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

MySpace.com/judy_winter

Special Olympics Launches Campaign to Stop Use of R-Word

If you're a regular visitor to this blog and familiar with my work/book on special needs, you know I always encourage you to advocate for the cause in whatever way possible. It goes with the territory.

Yesterday, I added my voice to those protesting the film Tropic Thunder (DreamWorks/Ben Stiller) because of the frequent use of the word retard and the inexcusable, outdated, negative portrayal of those with intellectual disabilities (formerly known as mental retardation).

Today, I am asking you to add your voice in response to the email below from my friends at Special Olympics. It gives you an opportunity to easily take a stand on this timely issue.

Please consider adding your pledge to the new Special Olympics campaign designed to create awareness and stop use of the R-word. Words DO hurt millions of people worldwide with special needs. It's time that our use of this ugly six-letter word stopped. It serves no valuable purpose while doing potential harm to millions of people trying to live out their best lives with dignity, respect and opportunity, too.

Here's the info and call for action from my friend Kirsten Suto Seckler at Special Olympics: Please take a moment to take part in this important advocacy. It does matter.   

(Photo courtesy of Special Olympics/used with permission).

_____________________

Friends,

This week, Special Olympics is launching a new campaign to raise consciousness about the derogatory use of the word "retard." We are launching this campaign now because of this week's release of the film "Tropic Thunder" which has scenes that insult and demean people with intellectual disabilities.

I am asking you to help make a stand. Visit www.r-word.org to take a pledge not to use the R-word - even if you don't mean it that way.

You can also help by boycotting the film "Tropic Thunder."

Thanks for your support in advance! Together we can all create a more accepting and inclusive society.

All the best,
Kirsten

PS - Please pass this along!

Kirsten Suto Seckler
Director, Global Marketing and Awareness
Special Olympics, Inc.
1133 19th Street NW
Washington DC 20036
1-202-715-1147 - office
1-202-492-6671- mobile
1-202-824-0354 - fax
kseckler@specialolympics.org
www.specialolympics.org

"If you are a fan of dignity, acceptance and the human race, then you are already a fan of Special Olympics"

__________________________

Thank you for joining us in this important, long-overdue effort. Together, we can and do make a difference in the lives of those with special needs.

Click here to the ARC website to see Timothy Shriver's comments on CNN during Monday night's protest at the Tropic Thunder's LA premiere (note protesters' t-shirts proclaiming 'Tropic Blunder').

http://www.thearc.org/NetCommunity/Page.aspx?pid=1800&srcid=183

Judy Winter.com

Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

MySpace.com/judy_winter

"When you know better, you do better." -Maya Angelou

Today is the annual Spread-the-Word-to-End-the-Word campaign, one given birth by Special Olympics and fueled by its talented, hard-working and proud athletes. 

As a writer, I don't usually endorse censorship. But I don't promote use of (or use) any hate speech either. That's what the word retarded now represents to millions worldwide. 

Have you ever heard anyone use the word to build someone up? 

Like other minority speech we loudly denounce and react quickly to, the r-word reinforces painful, outdated and limiting stereotypes. Because of my son, wrongly judged to be intellectually challenged due to wheelchair use and limited motor/speech skills, I know firsthand the daily, painful, tough judgement faced by more than 200 million people worldwide with intellectual disabilities (current, accepted terminology) because of the ignorance and insensitivity fueled by the continued, casual and ugly use of this word as a put down.

I choose to show Respect to others instead. What about you? At the very least, I hope you will consider talking with your children about not using the word, especially to put others down. Teachable moment.

Make no mistake, words do hurt, especially this one.

Find out more, here.

If you want to read a past post of mine that further details why the r-word can be so hurtful, click here.

Photo of RicStar Camp participant by Erik Taylor Photography. All rights reserved.

Join the Campaign to Stop Use of the R-Word!

Here's an Important Back-to-School Tip!

As another school year gets underway, talk to your kids about joining the campaign to Stop Use of the R-Word.  

Do it as a family!  Kids (and adults!) today casually use the word 'retard' to put others down, with no clue as to how offensive it is to their peers with intellectual disabilities (the current terminology for this population).  

Few people realize the painful history behind use of this powerful, limiting word. Talk to your child about building others up with words (including friends), not knocking them down at another's expense.  

 

Take time in your family to talk about the value of individual differences, especially in an increasingly diverse and global society.  Let your children know clearly what kind of behavior you expect from them.  This is a one of those great teachable moments.  Capture it!

Words DO hurt.

Change the conversation!

JudyWinter.com

Author. Speaker. Advocate- Special Needs Issues

Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Challenging the Ladies of The Talk to Talk about Yesterdays' R-Word Controversy;

Here's what I posted at The Talk's Facebook page. You can add your voice, too. Please, speak up.
________________________________

As an author/speaker/activist on special needs issues, I was hoping you chatty ladies of 'The Talk' would address yesterday's R-word/Felicity Huffman controversy and your own lack of response to it after it happened on air. Unfortunately, you chose not to do so and instead spent time high fiving yourselves over your Emmy nominations (congrats, by the way). 

But I, and many others who care deeply about and advocate for the special needs population, are more than a little disappointed at your avoidance of the subject, especially since you do such a great job addressing other important human rights issues/topics.  This topic is no less important. 

We've come a long way regarding awareness and coverage of disability rights, but we've a long way to go as supported by your silence. Perhaps you'll revisit this R-word discussion//controversy in one of your upcoming programs. One can hope.

You have the voices to do so and it's a discussion worthy of your talk time.

So please, ladies, get talkin.

Here, once again, is a prior piece I wrote about why I find R-word use so offensive and hurtful and why I, like millions of others, advocate for not using the terminology. Only the names of the offenders have changed.

Special Needs Shout Out! -Today is Spread-the-Word-to-End-the-Word Day

Today is 'Spread-the-Word-to-End-the-Word Day,' part of the international campaign spearheaded by Special Olympics to end the casual and demeaning use of the R-word.

I've posted my support of this on-going effort in the past. My take hasn't changed. You can read that previous post here.

You can find out more about why today's effort is important and add your pledge of support here.

You can read another good post from a parent/blogger who used Twitter to check out the public's response to ending use of the r-word. Check out Love That Max here.

Words do hurt, especially this one.

Judy Winter

Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Winter Ramblings Blog

Flickr Page

You Decide -Arguments For and Against Use of the R-Word

I've already stated my support of and reasons for not using the R word in casual conversation, a subject that has garnered lots of attention and commentary in the media. Here are two more recent takes on this on-going controversy, one for and one against.

Read Christopher Fairman's argument: The Case Against Banning the Word 'Retard, here. Tim Shriver's response: The Bigotry Behind the Word Retard, can be found, here.

I'm Team Shriver, and pro dignity for millions of people with intellectual and other disabilities worldwide. I also continue my support of refraining from using outdated, hurtful language that reinforces painful stereotypes for other minorities and women as well.

The fact this issue is being discussed in 2010 says how far the special needs movement has come. Still, we've got miles to go before many people truly understand and appreciate why we should care about this population's on-going human-rights struggles, and how the use of one powerful, six-letter word can have such negative impact on their lives.

As a devoted mom who parented a child with a disability for nearly thirteen years, it's a painful reality I understand all too well.

Photo Jenna Winter

Judy Winter

Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Winter Ramblings Blog

Flickr Page

Tim Shriver & Stephen Colbert Discuss the R-Word

Tim Shriver, chairman and CEO of Special Olympics, held his own last night with Stephen Colbert of The Colbert Report talking about ending use of the r-word. Great awareness. Great exposure. Kennedy hair.

Love him!

For those who still aren't aware, the currently acceptable term (replacing the r-word) is intellectual disabilities, chosen by the athletes themselves.

Personally, I love using people's names.

It's about respect for all, especially for this often forgotten population.

Watch the interview here.

Photo of another terrific RicStar's Camp participant by Erik Taylor Photography 2011. Reminder: 2011 camp registration is still on going.

Judy Winter

Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Winter Ramblings Blog

Flickr Page

Jennifer Aniston & the R-Word on Regis

I've avoided this post because I had hoped it would soon become a non issue. Wrong.

Seems those of us who care about people with disabilities are still waiting for America's 'sweetheart' Jennifer Aniston to apologize to the millions of people with intellectual disabilities and their families after her casual, insulting use of the r-word on an August episode of 'Live with Regis and Kelly.' Equally disturbing was the awkward laughter that followed from the co hosts and audience.

So far, the actress remains mum about her hurtful slip of the tongue. Why is it that in 2010 so many people are still so unenlightened about why the use of this word is so offensive to so many? Anyone who says that retard(ed) 'is just a word' has never had to fight like a dog for basic human equality and dignity and access to education and employment in the ways that this population and their families have. Make no mistake, words do hurt, and they help keep outdated stereotypes and discrimination alive and well.

So what's your take? Should Ms. Aniston or should she not speak up once and for all to make the wrong right?

You know my answer.

Photo Erik Taylor 2010 RicStar's Camp.

Judy Winter

Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Winter Ramblings Blog

Flickr Page

Gayle King Interviews Tim Shriver About Ending Use of the R-Word

One more exciting entry regarding today's Spread-the-Word-to-End-the-Word Day. On The Gayle King Radio Show this a.m., O's best friend interviewed Special Olympics CEO, Tim Shriver, about eliminating use of the r-word.

This is huge special needs progress, and a dream come true for me because I remember when the national media payed little or no attention to this population and its important issues. To have Gayle King take on this discussion before a worldwide audience is amazing.

Tim Shriver is a great media spokesperson for this campaign and for the rights of those with special needs and he did a terrific job explaining the reason for today's needed awareness. Hope we see more of him in national media interviews soon. Eunice Kennedy Shriver would be proud of her son.

My, how the tide is changing.

Listen to today's interview here.

Sign the pledge here.

Oprah, you're next!

Photo of my husband and me with Tim Shriver at Special Olympics Washington DC headquarters. Photos of athletes courtesy of Special Olympics. Used with permission.

Judy Winter

Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Winter Ramblings Blog

Flickr Page

Stop Using the R-Word!

Words DO hurt...Please take a moment to add your support to this important campaign, and check out the new Special Olympics website design! The on-going, casual use of the R-word to put down others or laugh at their expense, especially by young people and Hollywood, continues to fuel outdated, limiting and painful stereotypes that negatively impact millions of people with intellectual and other disabilities. As in 2008, I will continue to run this post monthly in 2009. Our word choices do matter, especially during this year of important CHANGE.

Don't just talk about needed change. Be part of the solutions.

Think dignity, equality and opportunities for all.

Photo courtesy of Special Olympics. Used with permission.

Judy Winter

Author. Speaker. Advocate: Special Needs Issues

Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

Winter Ramblings Blog