Minute Vacations- May 2008

Judy's Minute Vacation for May 2008
New York City

In honor of the long-anticipated Sex and the City movie opening this month, plus my upcoming travel (and my birthday!), here are a few photos of the Big Apple from one of my recent trips, including one of my favs of a budding fashionista and her stylish mom!  (Carrie would be proud!).

Start spreading the (May) news....

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Do You Ever Wonder Why....? May 2008

DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY?...

So many parents today ramble on incessantly on cell phones while out in public with their children enjoying pizza, visiting the monkeys at the zoo, or shopping for Barbie and Ken at the toy store?

A lot of these conversations don't sound all that critical to me. I know, because unfortunately, I can often hear them. Is such casual chatting or even work talk really more important than those all-too -fleeting moments with our kids? Just what kind of message are we sending our children? Aren't they worth more than a phone call or text message?

How about we just say 'no' to technology for a few minutes each day and instead, really connect with one another face to face?  Just because kids are scarfing down salty french fries and double-pepperoni pizza, doesn't mean they're not hungry for your attention, too.

Just rambling...

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Judy Winter's FAV Quote of the Month- May 2008

"My religion is very simple-
my religion is kindness."
-Dalai Lama

JudyWinter.com

Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

MySpace.com/judy_winter

I'm a Big Fan of...! May 2008

Here's my May 2008 gush...

I'M A BIG FAN OF SPECIAL OLYMPICS!

I love Special Olympics. That's why I profiled the organization and Timothy Shriver in my book. Few have done as much to improve the lives of those with special needs, specifically intellectual disabilities (ID), as has this terrific organization.

While others ignored their lives and their challenges, Eunice Kennedy Shriver took it upon herself to create a new world of experiences for those with ID in her own backyard. The lessons she began have impacted the world is ways too big for simple words. Suffice it to say, that the gentle seeds Shriver planted and nurtured years ago have blossomed beyond imagination worldwide. Thanks to her continuing, dedicated efforts and those of her son, Timothy Shriver and all the families, volunteers and athletes who refuse to let the perceived limitations of others limit them, this outstanding organization has changed millions of lives, and outdated perceptions, worldwide.

Thank you, Special Olympics, for the amazing work you do each day, and for the terrific example. For more information, visit: www.specialolympics.org.

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

The Human Side of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

Much has been said and written about the challenges of autism spectrum disorders (ASDs). Much of that discussion has come from professionals, parents and organizations focused on research and cure, especially for autism.

In yesterday's Lansing State Journal (Gannett/lsj.com), writer Betsy Miner offered a rare look at ASD from the perspective of someone living with the diagnosis. Skillfully, and with heart, Miner interwove journalistic facts and focus without getting in the way of sharing one woman's powerful life story.

The resulting feature, 'Solving the mind's puzzle,' is a worthy read. Here's the link: http://www.lansingstatejournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2008804270462

JudyWinter.com

Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

MySpace.com/judy_winter

Celebrating Earth Day 2008!

It's Earth Day 2008!

For information on how you can celebrate (and save) our planet, visit: http:/ww2.earthday.net. We all play an important role in healing the earth. I'm going to go hug some trees (among other things).

I love trees...and all nature.

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

TV Alert! CBS Airs Hallmark Hall of Fame's Sweet Nothing in My Ear

CBS will air the Hallmark Hall of Fame program "Sweet Nothing in My Ear" Sunday night at 9 p.m. ET.  The movie addresses the challenges facing parents with strongly differing opinions on how to raise their son after he loses his hearing.  It stars two outstanding actors, Marlee Matlin and Jeff Daniels.  

For more info visit: http://www.cbs.com/specials/sweet_nothing_in_my_ear/about.

It's getting harder for me to keep up on all this media coverage.  That's a good thing.

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

On the Road Again....

After a little breathing room this winter, it's time to again hit the road and spread the special-needs gospel, which means the blogging posts may not be as frequent as they have been lately. Here are a few highlights of some of my Apr/May professional gigs:

Talk/Signing: 'Rolling-Focusing on Ability', Project Advisor/WKAR-TV, East Lansing, MI.  This one is especially dear to me because I once worked at WKAR and had to leave the job I loved to meet my son's needs and ensure his future was brighter. That was tough for me, but a no-choice choice.  My involvement in this event represents a true full-circle moment.  It's a great station with terrific people. I'm proud to be 'back on board' for this one day. / http://wkar.org/more/article/451/rollingevent

Talk/Signing/Author's Reception: New Canaan Library, New Canaan, CT. / http://www.newcanaanlibrary.org/newsletter/authors_stage_schedule.htm

Interview on 'Live with Lisa' Radio Program, Yale University, New Haven, CT (recently featured on Bravo's The Real Housewives of NYC!)/ http://www.livewithlisaradio.com/

Off to NYC-for program/showing/review of the film 'Including Samuel' at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, part of the Sprout Film Festival which highlights developmental disabilities. / http://www.gosprout.org/film/info2.htm

Then home for a couple of days before heading off to one of my fav cities,  Chi-Town!  That trip will include indulging in deep-dish birthday pizza, and doing my best to boost the economy on Michigan Avenue!  If I run into Oprah, I'll say 'hi' for all of us!

I am also pleased to be featured in the April issues of Newsmax magazine ('Who I am Now') and MSU Today magazine, (http://www.msutoday.msu.edu/magazine/08spring.pdf) and recently completed an interview for a Chicago Parent piece on sibs (not yet released).  

Life is hectic, but good!  Hope the same is true for you.

An advocate-author's work is never done...

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Equal Granddoggy Time- Introducing Sir Griff

If you've checked out my blog, you've seen my photo of beautiful shelter Granddoggy Zelda. In the spirit of equal time (and cuteness!), here's my other furry joy, Sir Griff, the adorable, spirited, rescue Granddoggy Corgie, who's always looking for something or someone to herd! Photo courtesy of my talented photog daughter, Jenna, who's a wonderful, responsble pet owner. She makes me proud. They all make me smile.

I know, Griffy! I need to buy you more doggie treats....

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Simple Advocacy-Day Fourteen

CONGRATULATIONS!  

You've made it through Fourteen Days of Simple Advocacy!   

Let's count 'em down beginning to end:

-Tell your child that you love him/her, no matter how rough the day, complete with hugs.
-Educate yourself about your child's diagnosis.

-Express gratitude.

-Contact the media.

-Express yourself.

-Sit still.

-Spend one-on-one time with your kids without special needs.

-Learn the law.
-Laugh often.

-Focus on the present.

-Organize your child's records.

-Pay it forward.

-Call a family meeting.

Simple Advocacy-Day 14: (drum role, please!)

Count your blessings. I know, you hear this all the time.  It sounds trite, but it can be remarkably effective.   It's true that you do not need to look very far before you will find someone who has it worse than you do.  As I've traveled the country and spoken to countless families, I've been humbled, amazed, even brought to tears by the tremendous challenges many families lovingly take on daily, including parenting more than one child with significant special needs.  Counting your own blessings has a way of making everything seem just a bit more doable, and worthwhile.  It gets easier with practice.

So before your head hits the pillow this evening, take a moment to reflect upon your day.  Then, in your mind or in a journal, record one thing that your child accomplished today that made you proud, no matter how small it may seem.  Small steps now lead to bigger future gains.

Learning to live with gratitude is a powerful life lesson that can change the quality of your life, and that of your children.  Now, on to facing even bigger advocacy issues...  

Yes, you can!

JudyWinter.com

Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Simple Advocacy-Day Thirteen

Call a family meeting. If you have a terrific extended family unit that supports your challenging parenting situation without being asked, consider yourself blessed. The reality is that many families lack such valuable support. But rather than fret and fume and hope people will step up and offer the support and understanding you need, call a user-friendly family meeting or group dinner and tell them. 

Most people can't read our minds.  Big surprise, huh?

Let everyone know exactly what you need and expect from them, while also hearing and responding calmly to their concerns. Help others better understand your child and his/her needs to help increase comfort levels and promote greater understanding and action.  If you wait for relatives to reach out to you first, you may be sorely disappointed. Just because someone is related by blood, does not guarantee they can or will offer the support you need.  Special needs often makes family dynamics increasingly complex, especially if key relationships are already strained.  But charity does (or should) begin at home.

So speak up and ask for what you need.  You might end up with some great new childcare offers for valuable time away, along with a renewed appreciation for the term 'family'.  That's a win-win for all.

It's amazing what a simple phone call can do....

JudyWinter.com

Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Random Rant-April 2008. Coulda? Shoulda? Woulda?

If there's one pesky little thing that drives my writer-speaker self over the edge, especially if I'm under deadline pressure or PMS-ing, it's regular, unacceptable misuse/abuse of simple language, especially by supposedly educated people.

This simple act upsets me almost as much as learning new technology. But not quite. For that, my usually mild-manned self has been known to loudly threaten to heave my computer off the roof of my house, along with a few naughty words.

Think of all the credit the tiny letter A gets that rightfully belongs to the word HAVE. That poor little four-letter word is ignored on a regular basis in daily conversations, the media, and over coffee and cell phone chats by otherwise stellar citizens! Over blueberry scones and foaming lattes, the letter A brazenly steals HAVE's thunder with no apologies for the blatant infractions.

Consider the following evidence of popular, daily language abuse by good folk not intending any harm.

I coulda...  I shoulda...  I woulda....

The word should be HAVE, people!  They should all be HAVE! (and not OF, either).

Could have. Should have. Would have. The rampant abuse is shameful.

This week, I challenge you to pay attention to how many times you, and those around you, are guilty of depriving the word HAVE of its rightful place in our language use (but don't ignore your kids).

I bet you'll lose count.

Now, don't even get me started on pronunciation of the word Of-TEN!!! (equivalent to fingernails on a blackboard!).

I shoulda rambled on about this important subject long ago.

Oops.

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Simple Advocacy-Day Twelve

Pay it forward. Whenever you find information on special needs that you believe could benefit others, pass it on. Networking and sharing valuable resources and updates is a great way for people to be kept aware of important, timely developments that may interest them and impact their children.

In the spirit of practicing what I preach, here's information about tonight's airing of the movie The Memory Keeper's Daughter on Lifetime (check local listings), complete with a review by my friend Gail Williamson, executive director of the Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles, and mom to Blair, a talented working actor with Down syndrome.

For more about the book itself, here is the author's website: http://www.memorykeepersdaughter.com.

Be sure to give Lifetime your feedback about the movie, but first, consider sharing Gail's thoughts and the author's link!

Thanks, Gail!
_____________________________________________________________

"I enjoyed The Memory Keeper’s Daughter a Lifetime network original film to air on April 12th. Of course you don’t get time to watch the characters develop like you do when you read the book chapter to chapter, but the screenplay does a good job of representing the original story. The film, in my mind, would be rated PG13; there is reference to unfaithful married partners, not blatant and visual, but obvious; so it might not be a family film for your family. I suggest you watch it first and then decide.

Something very important to me is the casting of talent with Down syndrome and the portrayal of those characters. They were “spot on” in the film. The actors with DS did a wonderful job, I was so proud of them all and the casting directors who found them. The filmmakers did a wonderful job of showing the abilities and not focusing on the limitations of individuals with DS. It was a joy to hear all of the actors with DS speak clearly and see them truly act, playing someone other than themselves.

Have a box of tissues ready; you will need them.

On a scale of 1 to 3 chromosomes, I give it a 3."

Gail Williamson
Executive Director / Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles, Inc.
315 Arden Avenue, Suite 25
Glendale, CA 91304
818-242-7871 voice / 818-242-7819 fax
gail@dsala.org / www.dsala.org
______________________

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Simple Advocacy-Day Eleven

Organize your child's records. Keeping good updates, especially those involving educational and medical records in accessible, colorful folders or on your computer, helps you more easily put your hands on up-to-date information as needed. The goal? Stress reduction.

This simple act can prove especially helpful during unexpected hospitalizations, appointments with specialists who may not know your child, and during all those nerve-wracking school meetings, including IEPs, when stress levels are running high and accurate updates are critical.

This is one of those things in your life you can control.

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Magical Moments

RAIN

The rain taps gently on the skylight in my office, promising greener grass, budding trees, lush lawns, flirty laced tulips, lilacs and juicy worms aplenty for eager, proud Robins. The familiar seasonal cadence suits my reflective writer's mood well.

Fragrant cup of tea in hand, I forgo tempting e-mail and breathe in nature's annual rite of magic.

For the moment, I am content.

What makes you happy?

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Simple Advocacy-Day Ten

Focus on the present. By addressing your child's most pressing challenges well today, you can help build a more solid foundation for his/her future success. Most parents of kids with special needs quickly learn that it's too overwhelming (even scary) to look too far into the uncertain future, especially when their child has a particularly challenging disability.

Instead of freaking out over future unknowns, save your precious energy and stay on task.

Good rule of thumb? Bite off only what you can chew (take on) today. Facing today's most pressing tasks well, can and does help ensure brighter futures for all involved, while helping parents better meet their child's most immediate needs without burning out.

That's worth today's best effort.

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Chidlren with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Simple Advocacy-Day Nine

Laugh often! Rent a funny movie, indulge in your favorite television program, tell silly knock-knock jokes with your kids, but take time each day to laugh, even if only at the ridiculousness of your current demands.

At the very least, force a smile. Research shows that laughter is a great stress release that has positive impact on your immune system. and your attitude. Plus, it makes you more fun to be around.

So snort your little heart out. Your body and soul (and your family) will thank you.

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Marlee Matlin and DWTS!

After last night, here's my take so far on Marlee Matlin's weekly performances on Dancing with the Stars, a gig she makes look incredibly easy.

In a word, Remarkable!

You go girl!

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Spring Inspiration!

Whenever I write/speak about special needs and the law, however briefly (see last entry), I always feel the need to balance off the discussion with something slightly more enticing, like beautiful flowers!

It's a bit like cleansing the emotional palate after a heavy meal.

Enjoy!

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Simple Advocacy-Day Eight

Learn the law. Get yourself a good resource to have on hand that you can refer to time and again as needed to address a particular challenge facing your child (mine are well dog eared!). You can also access the Internet for lots of free info on this topic. Googling will help you find them fast.

If you want to purchase your own books, here's a great website to get you started. Wrightslaw.com, considered a forerunner in providing accurate, family friendly resources on Special Education Law, (and no, they aren't paying me to say this; but maybe they should!). Start slowly, and refer to your resources as needed, including for timely updates.

It's tough to advocate effectively for your child if you don't have at least a working knowledge of the the laws protecting their rights. But you don't need to become an attorney.

Although, there may well be days when you feel like you do.... 

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter