Simple Advocacy-Day Three

Express gratitude. Take time to send a heartfelt note or card of thanks (snail mail, not email) to someone whose efforts have made a difference in your child's life, and your own.

Good karma has a way of returning to you when need it most.


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Reminder-It's World Autism Awareness Day!

Reminder: Today is World Autism Awareness Day and that means major-media coverage and lots of other buzz on the topic, including on CNN. Check out my entry about this ground-breaking day below. Such coverage and discussion does help bring awareness to the bigger issue of special needs, allowing us to build on obtaining broader, much-needed coverage of a wide range of disabilities.

Imagine what could happen if we all joined forces for the overall cause of special needs? You and I can help make that happen. There is power in numbers, and in our voices, as this day helps prove.

Raise yours.


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Simple Advocacy-Day Two

Educate yourself about your child's diagnosis so you are better prepared to face/address the challenges it may present you.

You might just help write some brand new statistics.


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Introducing 14 Days of Simple Special Needs Advocacy

When it comes to special needs parenting, one thing quickly becomes clear. If you expect your child to have the best life possible, than you must become their best advocate.

Too often when parents hear the word advocate or advocacy they question their ability to be effective, citing time constraints, lack of knowledge and people skills, no confidence or lack of training and limited finances. They think that to be an effective advocate they must take on a big challenge in the outside world.

The reality is that many parents are just too overwhelmed or too pooped to even consider taking on such a big role. Many are just trying to make it through the next IEP, family gathering, appointment with the specialist or therapists, or survive the bedtime routine. They aren't up for saving the world, just a small piece of it.

So I want to simplify the word for you. Because sometimes, the most effective advocacy for a child with special needs begins with seemingly simple actions taken in the home, actions that go a long way toward improving a child's life, and your own.

I'm talking user-friendly advocacy that anyone can take on, the kind of valuable advocacy that changes lives, too. The kind that can help you take on the bigger stuff.

In the spirit of creating empowered parents who effectively advocate for their kids in the simplest ways each day, I'm introducing 14 Days of Simple Special Needs Advocacy. I hope these helpful, proactive reminders over the next two weeks will prove useful to you and your family throughout the year.

Afterall, April is all about rebirth and remarkable new growth after a long, dark winter...

Let's get started.

SIMPLE ADVOCACY-DAY ONE:

Tell your children that you love them, no matter how rough the day, complete with great big hugs. If he/she is touch sensitive, hug more gently and build on the effort each day.

Now that wasn't so hard, was it?


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY?-April 2008

DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY...

In 2008, parents of children with special needs must still work so much harder than many parents every single day just to ensure their child's rightful place in this world?

Just rambling...feel free to ramble back.

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Judy Winter's FAV Quote of the Month- April 2008

I've got two favorite quotes this month. Since I couldn't decide between them, you get a bonus dose of wisdom this month, along with a smile on your face, I hope.

"Cherish forever what makes you unique,
'cuz you're really a yawn if it goes."
-Bette Midler

"If you think you are too small to be effective,
you've never been in bed with a mosquito."
-Anita Roddick

Now go celebrate differences, and advocate for needed change!

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Minute Vacations- April 2008

Judy's Minute Vacation for April 2008

The Bellagio Hotel
Las Vegas

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Unless you're armed with a camera to capture all those magical moments of pure escapism, as I was at this moment. G Rated.

Enjoy!

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

DID YOU KNOW? World Autism Awareness Day is April 2nd, 2008

In addition to bringing us refreshing showers, threatening thunderstorms, gutsy little flowers that boldly stick their fragile little heads out of the mud, and other long-awaited promises of Spring, April 2008 will also include the first ever World Autism Awareness Day. The effort, being held on Wednesday, April 2nd, is the result of a resolution introduced by the nation of Qatar and approved by the United Nations on December 18, 2007.

That recognition, described at www.autismspeaks.org as an "unprecendented global effort...marked around the world with education, awareness and celebration," is expected to continue to raise awareness for autism to a whole new level. CNN is dedicating the day to mass coverage of this important topic with its programming entitled, 'The Myths of Autism.' One in 150 children is now diagnosed with autism, which is four times more common in boys than girls.

For more information on World Autism Awareness Day, visit www.autismspeaks.org, www.autism-society.org or www.cnn.com.

Awareness is key for all disabilities.

JudyWinter
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Spring Has Sprung!

Spring is finally here and that means flowers!!!! I don't care how hard the Weather Channel tries to mess with my mind, including with those threats of late-season snow and single-digit wind chills. Well, I do care, but in less than twenty-four hours the calendar will proclaim that it's officially April anyway, and that means summer can't be far behind, right?

I am ever the eternal optimist- a handy survival tool when living in the Midwest, and when parenting children with special needs.

I LOVE flowers....and kids with/without special needs.

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

DID YOU KNOW? March is National Reading Month

In case you needed a reason to read a book, here it is:

March is National Reading Month!

In honor of that reality, here's a photo of my son while very young sharing a good read with a good school buddy. I love this photo for so many reasons....

I'm a big supporter of reading for all children (and for adults) and I believe the earlier we begin the process of reading to them (think brain development), the greater the benefits. I especially believe in the value of reading to kids with special needs, regardless of a diagnosis (again, think brain development). You have no idea how this kind of effort may impact your child is positive ways down the road. Try to give it your best shot, no matter how tough.

My son and I spent hours reading books from the beginning of his life, from Mercer Mayer to Dr. Seuss, to Sesame Street to Captain Underpants, to books about rockstars and guitars and the solar system. Early on, Eric wiggled and squirmed and seemed unable to be easily immersed in the magic of words and pictures. But with time, persistance, maturity, (and adding lots of fun), reading soon became one of our favorite things to do together.

In fact, once Eric learned that I could do the voices of Elmo, Cookie Monster, Grover and Barney, and also mix up all the crazy Dr. Seuss rhymes and make up great kids' tales, reading became an exciting adventure that was never boring.

To my son, I was the coolest mom in the land.

Eric grew to love books as much as his big sister, Jenna, mainly because we didn't deny him the chance to experience reading because of his cerebral palsy. Today, I believe strongly that our commitment to reading to both of our children had positive impact on their development in many ways.

Plus, it was a great way for us to escape the on-going daily demands of addressing Eric's special needs and just be together, mother and child. I will always treasure those priceless moments and memories reading with both of my children.

Special Note: I know it's tough, if not impossible, to read to your kids if you're struggling with your own literacy issues. The good news is there is help available, so what are you waiting for!! Seek out the support you need; then watch your own world (and that of your children) open up in big ways. There are some terrific resources to help you make that magic happen.

Here's a good place to start: National Institute for Literacy: http://www.nifl.gov/

Now give all those hi-tech gadgets a rest, turn off the TV, and go pick up a book and READ!!

It will change your life, and the lives of your children.

No technology required.

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Oprah and OCD

Heads up to all those facing the challenges of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Oprah producer's have a call out for stories for a possible upcoming program entitled: Has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Touched You?

To read more program details and submit your story, use the following link or visit Oprah.com and click on 'Tell Us Your Story':

https://www.oprah.com/plugger/templates/BeOnTheShow.jhtml?action=respond&plugId=315500001

Let me know if the show happens and if it includes you.

Good luck!


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

What's Your Drug of Choice?

I think that most people, if honest, will admit to having a favorite vice for coping. Yours might be overshopping, overeating, gossiping, hoarding, gambling, drinking, doing drugs, smoking, overworking, cheating on your spouse (including online), or charging another pair of Jimmy Choo shoes you cannot afford, no matter how you do the math.

Did I hit a nerve?

Right now, I've got a major sugar hangover from overindulging in my favorite candy in the world, Hershey Kisses, the brand new Easter 2008 version, filled with yummy coconut creme. I ate the whole bag in one sitting, and now I'm having trouble thinking clearly enough to write this entry. Plus, I can't sit still.

I told myself that I was celebrating Leap Year.

In the world of serious vices, this one might not seem all that bad, unless you have a sensitivity to sugar, which I do, and you're a writer who must express your thoughts clearly, which I must. Sugar short circuits my brain and derails my muse, which impacts my work output and self esteem, leaving me hungover and a tad bit testy.

Still, that chocolate sure does taste good, especially when washed down with an icy Diet Coke, another of my vices.

In the past, food has comforted me during some extra tough life moments, an enticement that I still sometimes battle. But I've discovered that the more I choose to express my emotions in productive ways, the less hold my drug of choice has on me. Regular venting, staying in shape and self-imposed discipline are the best antidotes to my vices.

I admit that yesterday, just say no held absolutely no meaning for me. Like an out-of-control two-year-old, I wanted that coconut-creme chocolate and no parent was there to stop me. Plus, it was snowing outside- again!! But my nest is empty now, so the only one paying the price of my sometimes occasional addition is me, and maybe my loving husband if he comes home before I've slept off the sugar buzz.

I'm adding some humor to a serious subject, but I know that parenting can be incredibly challenging. When your child has special needs, it can be especially stressful. I've been there and learned the hard way that the on-going stress demands release.

I also understand that serious time constraints, the inability to arrange and pay for good child care, and many other tough realities of the role can keep you from making wiser choices: like taking time to exercise, journal, attend counseling or parent-support groups, or arrange regular date nights, and so on.

Yet, it's critical that you do just these things to keep functioning in a healthy and productive fashion. The reality is that what may at first seem like a harmless little means of coping can quickly become a major problem that interferes with meeting your daily demands. It can even impact your health, and that can negatively impact the quality of life for all around you, especially your child.

If you're struggling with a serious addiction, seek out necessary support. Our children deserve the best we can give them and they're far sweeter than any vice, including Hershey Kisses with coconut-creme filling.

That said, I think I'll have an apple for lunch today, right after I finish this Diet Coke...


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Take Note: National MS Awareness Week 2008

National Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Awareness Week 2008 is March 10th thu March 17th.

You can find out more at: http://www.nationalmssociety.org/


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY?-March 2008

DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY?...

So many people who interact with a child or adult with special needs, especially for the first time, automatically raise the pitch of their voice, talk baby talk and/or speak more loudly-- or worse yet, act like they don't even see the person?

Most of us have experienced this phenonmenon at one time or another. I usually chalk it up to a lack of experience, awareness and an overall discomfort with disability that many people still experience in 2008. So let's educate them.

Helpful Hint: Please speak directly to individuals with special needs as you would anyone else, and unless the person (or those with them) indicates that you need to speak more loudly in order for that child or adult to hear you, tone down the volume and pitch. Never ignore them.

-and please, reserve all that really cute baby talk for babies.


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

I'm a Big Fan of...! March 2008

Here's my March 2008 gush!

I'M A BIG FAN OF MARLEE MATLIN!

I am thrilled with the news that this amazing, talented, Oscar-winning actress (who happens to be deaf), has been added to the new season of Dancing with the Stars!

I was fortunate to meet Marlee at the AOL-Dove CEO Awards in NYC in 2006 where she and I were both recognized. Marlee delivered a great keynote. She is funny, talented, confident, intelligent and a great role model for all of us. Marlee made it clear in her speech that she attributes much of her success to the way in which her family raised her to be just a typical kid (parents take note).

Those parenting efforts paid off handsomely. Lucky for us.

You can find out more about Marlee Matlin at: www.marleematlinsite.com.

-And make sure you vote to keep Marlee in each week. Our numbers are mighty powerful when we unite to support a worthy cause. What a statement we can make!

Congrats, Marlee! You've got my vote.

I like this show even more now....

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Minute Vacations- March 2008

Judy's Minute Vacation for March 2008
St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands

Put yourself here and escape, if only for a few moments... minus the sand in your teeth!

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Judy Winter's FAV Quote of the Month- March 2008...

"A miracle is a shift in perception."
-Marianne Williamson


Change your thinking; change your life.
-and the lives of your children.

I've done it many times- it works!

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Larry King Live and Autism

If you missed last night's 'Larry King Live' program on autism, here's the link for a partial viewing. The program featured Jason J-Mac McElwain, who became a national sensation after scoring 20 points straight during a high school basketball game in 2006. Jason, a charming and well-spoken young adult with higher-functioning autism, went on to win the ESPN ESPY Award for Best Moment in Sports 2006. He has written a book about his life entitled The Game of my Life.

Here's the link to the interview:

http://edition.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2008/02/27/lkl.autism.long.cnn

Also on the program, Holly Robinson Peete, Toni Braxton, and Doug Flutie who all have sons with autism. The Doug Flutie Jr. Foundation for Autism provides resources and other support for families facing this challenging diagnosis. Check it out:

www.dougflutiejrfoundation.org


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

WKAR-TV (PBS affiliate) and the film Rolling

Megan's Beach
U.S. Virgin Islands


I'm back after a nearly two-week sun-filled excursion to the U.S. Virgin Island where I spent some much-needed time refueling from the craziness of the year, while also honoring the fifth anniversary of my son's death. You never get over the loss of a child, but I've learned that you can live with renewed purpose that does justice to your child's life and legacy, and helps you get out of bed in the morning.

Every so often, I need to stop and remember why I have taken on what I have taken on. My son remains my on-going muse and teacher, and I miss Eric every single day. I remain in awe and humbled by what this young child's life has meant to so many others facing the challenges of special needs throughout the world.

So much for focusing on a child's disability...

Lots has been happening in my absence, and I'll try my best to catch you (and me) up on some of the highlights soon. But in the meantime, here's an April event that I'm thrilled and honored to be part of; be sure to check air dates/times for the film Rolling on your PBS affiliate station. There may be a local effort planned in your own community. Check it out!

I gotta go unpack and do some laundry!
________________________________________

"Rolling Event"
Saturday, April 26, 11 a.m.-5 p.m.
at WKAR

"Rolling" is a television documentary profiling wheelchair users.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THIS DOCUMENTARY, VISIT: http://www.thirteen.org/rolling
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WKAR Receives Grant for Community Event

WKAR-TV was recently awarded a $4,000 grant by WNET/New York to host a community event focusing on wheelchair use and relating to the public television program Rolling, which will air on the public television station this spring. The grant was one of five offered to public television stations nationwide.

The free event will take place at WKAR on Saturday, April 26, from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., and include both an extensive resource room and a program featuring several speakers, a musical performance and a preview of the national documentary.

Community partners for this event are the Capital Area Center for Independent Living, Center for Educational Networking, Peckham Industries, MSU College of Music and Community Music School, and MSU’s Resource Center for Persons with Disabilities. Judy Winter, the author of “Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs,” and nationally recognized speaker and advocate, is serving as project advisor.

The day-long event will include a resource room featuring organizations dealing with wheelchair use, independent living, and special needs, among other related topics. Those attending the free event will be able to pick up information and talk with representatives from participating organizations.

The program will take place at 1 p.m. and include remarks from several leaders on this topic, including Judy Winter, Al Swain of the Capital Area Center for Independent Living and a teen who is a wheelchair user. The program will also include a performance by students from the Music Therapy Program at Michigan State University’s Community Music School and a preview of the television documentary.

Please visit WKAR.org closer to the event date for an updated schedule and additional information.



JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Reminder/Update Re: Dance War & DSALA--Airing Tonight!

A quick update regarding tonight's episode of Dance War: Team Bruno vs Team Carrie Ann.

Members of the Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles (DSALA) have been informed that they WILL have 60 seconds of fame on tonight's show. (See my Feb. 8 entry for more details). Check your local listings for broadcast time.

First, the PepsiCo Superbowl ad and the inclusion of kids with Down syndrome in the Oprah MLK tribute earlier this month, and now this! It's this kind of continued coverage (in addition to on-going media talk of autism on programs like Larry King Live and Oprah) that indicates valuable progress is being made in creating awareness and acceptance of a wide range of special needs coverage in major media.

Very cool...and long overdue.

Congrats to Gail Williamson and DSALA members for pulling this off! This is great exposure during valuable prime-time on a hot new program! Be sure to watch- and vote!
-And remember to write the network and tell them you approve!

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Granddoggy Zelda

I'm a wee bit tired of all the heavy snow of late, but my daughter's furry baby Zelda is simply captivated! The enchantress helps me see the powdery old landscape through brand new eyes...

Kids and granddoggies- life's greatest teachers!

Thanks, Z! xo


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Dance War and the Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles (DSALA)

My friend Gail Williamson keeps me up to date on all the terrific things she's doing in her important role as executive director of the Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles (DSALA). Gail also oversees the Heart & Halo Talent division of DSALA and books gigs for actors with special needs.

This woman is a dynamo, and the go-to person for many people looking to cast individuals with special needs for film and television in Hollywood and beyond. Gail's also the parent of a successful working actor with Down syndrome, my good buddy Blair! That's us at my book signing at the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove, California. You can read more about the amazing Williamson duo in my book.

Here's another cool announcement Gail just shared with me.

The Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles (DSALA) hosted a meet and greet with “Team Bruno” of the ABC prime time show “Dance War – Bruno vs. Carrie Ann.”


(Photo by Tony Maddox of Tony Maddox Photography www.tonymaddoxphotography.com)


DSALA members got together to cheer up “Team Bruno” after their second week loss of the public phone-in vote to “Team Carrie-Ann.” DSALA contacted ABC and “Dance Wars” after the initial show introduced Zach a “Team Bruno” member (in grey T-shirt with thumbs-up) who has an older brother Matt who was born with Down syndrome and lives in Utah.

ABC filmed the event and intends on airing the footage on the Monday, February 11, 2008 show. DSALA will not get the final word on their appearance until Saturday, February 9. Knowing we couldn’t let everyone know between Saturday and Monday night we have chosen to let the public know of our “possible appearance” so they can watch just in case we make it.

The DSALA would also like to encourage all our friends and family to vote for “Team Bruno” following the show Monday night.

“Dance Wars – Bruno vs. Carrie Ann”
Monday, February 11, 2008
ABC, check local listings for time
http://abc.go.com/primetime/dancewar/index?pn=index

Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles, Inc.
Gail Williamson, Exc. Director
315 Arden Avenue, Suite 25
Glendale, CA 91203
818-242-7871 office
818-242-7819 fax
www.dsala.org
info@dsala.org

Hmmm... until now, I was backing Team Carrie Ann......

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

I'm a Big Fan of...! February 2008

Here's my February 2008 gush.

I'M A BIG FAN OF SIBLINGS IN SPECIAL NEEDS FAMILIES!

Siblings in special needs families are my heroes, including Rachel (above) with her brother, Regan.

These sibs take on priceless roles in challenging family life situations with little or no voice about those tough roles. Yet, if we pay attention to meeting their needs, too, these amazing young people often grow up to become responsible, caring young adults with a maturity far greater than many of their peers. Many choose to go into helping professions like teaching and various therapy careers, the direct result of their day-to-day real-life experiences. These choices clearly benefit society.

Still, these kids often exchange childhood innocence to lay claim to those valuable lessons in adult maturity. Theirs is no easy role to take on, and I marvel that so many, like Rachel, do it with such grace, dignity, fierce sibling loyalty, and unconditional love.

As adults, we have much to learn from these special siblings.

Recently, I received a wonderful e-mail from Rachel, a college student who took the time to write and tell me how much she enjoyed my book. Rachel also shared her inspiring words of support and love for her brother, Regan, now a high school senior.

With her permission, I am sharing her heartfelt words and the photo of her with the brother she clearly adores.

I hope that Rachel's words of wisdom inspire you as much as they do me.

-Please remember that it's important to take good care of all the kids in your family...that's why I devoted an entire chapter to sibling voices in my book.

____________________________________________________

My name is Rachel, and I am a junior Communications major at Southern Utah University. I recently read your fantastic book, and I am giving a report on it in my parenting class this Friday. I want to thank you for your book. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it! I, like your daughter, was born the first grandchild and I was healthy and happy. When I was 2 1/2 years old, my brother was born with cerebral palsy. My parents and the doctors knew something was wrong but they weren't able to diagnose him for a few years.

Regan cannot walk or talk, but he has a machine called a Pathfinder that talks for him. He also has developed his own form of sign language, which we call "Reglish" that we use to communicate. Today Regan is 17 years old and a senior in high school. He is very interested in the news and film production, and he loves to travel. One of his favorite places to be is riding in the car in traffic on a busy highway! Regan is the most amazing person I know and I am so grateful to be his big sister.

I wouldn't trade my brother for the whole world. I know he was sent to our family to help us learn patience, love, hope, and so many other things. Regan has a message he likes to share with everyone he meets. His message is "Don't be sad if you ever have a child or grandchild with special needs. It is just a different journey so hop on and enjoy the ride!"

When I read the chapter about siblings of special needs children, I found that I can totally relate, and it was fun for me to be able to hear other's stories. It sounds like your son was a pretty amazing kid, and I thank you for sharing a little of him with me. I have a special place in my heart for children like Regan and Eric. I know they are God's special angels and they were sent to this Earth for a purpose. I am sorry for your loss, and I want you to know that I admire your strength and courage.

Thank you again for your amazing book and for your example.

-Rachel


-and thank you, Rachel, for sharing your insightful, loving words with me , and with the world! You inspire me.


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY? -February 2008

DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY?...

When you make a purchase these days, so often, you're the one spouting those lovely little words hello, thank you and have a nice day? Aren't businesses (or parents) today training employees/children in the ABC's of retail/social basics, or don't they practice them either?

I've tried standing at the counter long after a costly transaction, staring hopefully in anticipation. It doesn't work! All it does is make the employee give me one of those clueless, unnerving what-do-you-want-now looks that makes me want to throw whatever I just bought at 'em, especially the Mackinac Island Fudge Ice Cream that's already seeping through the ripped bag and onto my well-worn UGGS, making them look even uglier.

Please excuse me for asking, but what has happened to basic customer service, simple manners and the sacred mantra that the customer is is always right? More often than not, these treasures of civility seem to be missing in retail action.

FYI business owners: More and more I'm making my spending choices based on good customer service. I can, will and do pay more for this luxury. My husband will assure you that this far-too-frequent customer service snafu is costing you some major bucks!

Perhaps you could you at least try to address this before my next shopping trip?

Please?

Just asking... and thank you in advance!


Parents please take note-- there's little worse than a spoiled child with special needs, no manners and no discipline, unless of course, it's a privileged child without special needs, no manners and no discipline...!

Manners matter, and they should be taught to all children-
and modeled by the adults in their lives.


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raisng the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Judy Winter's FAV Quote of the Month February 2008

"Our time for change has come."
-Barack Obama


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Judy Winter's New Website is Up & Running!

Great news, especially for everyone who's tired of looking at the outdated stuff on my old website (including me!). The new design went up this afternoon, and while we will still be tweaking technical issues and making some minor edits for a little while, what you see, is what you now get. There's lots to explore...

I hope you like it as much as I do! The talented design team has been working overtime on this one and it's a big improvement! Your constructive feedback is welcome! But please be patient while we fine tune!

Enjoy the new look and the new site!!


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Minute Vacations February 2008

Judy's Minute Vacations for February 2008
Newport Beach, California

Enjoy the view!

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Pepsi, Super-Bowl Silence (gasp!) and Deaf Culture

The yearly Super Bowl ads always generate seasonal buzz and lots of noise, plus spirited water-cooler talk on Monday. This year promises to be no exception.

Except maybe for one. Thanks to those clever folks at PepsiCo (and their ad agency), one of this year's ads features 60 seconds of silence. Not a word, not a sound. Nada. Only American Sign Language (ASL).

When it comes to Super Bowl advertising, Pepsi rarely disappoints, but this time they've gone where few if any Super Bowl ads have gone before- to the topic of disability and the deaf culture, and they've done it with ground-breaking pizzaz.

That's right. A little disabliity awareness with your football, chips and beer- I mean Pepsi!

Right on!

If you haven't already seen the Pepsi Super Bowl ad featuring total silence and actors who are deaf, read on and link to the You Tube site below. Fact is, the special needs community is about to take a huge step forward in public awareness before the largest television audience in the world.

Priceless.

The ad already has tongues wagging, and that helps create awareness and discussion of ability, while challenging outdated thinking and stereotypes. That's progress.

-and people think those cute commercials are for pure entertainment.

Granted, Broussard, who plays Bob in the spot, isn't deaf (two other actors are), but he has a rare sensitivity and appreciation for this culture, and afterall, it was his idea. PepsiCo was just smart enough to run with the idea and deliver a welcome,ground-breaking, refreshing ad about something more than just selling a product.

Although I'm pretty sure PepsiCo hopes to sell product, too.

I raise my bottle of diet Pepsi to you PepsiCo for recognizing the insight and creative talent of your own employees, and for running with the idea during the super bowl of advertising gigs!

Pure genius!

Now, if only Josh Blue was performing at half time...


Check it out on You Tube, where you can also catch the behind-the-scenes production video, which does have sound! And if you like the ad, contact PepsiCo and tell them! Maybe this is only the beginning.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ffrq6cUoE5A&feature=related


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Catching Jane Austen Fever!

For the past two weeks, I've been hooked on The Complete Jane Austen PBS series. This beautifully produced program brings to life the seven novels of the talented writer in a skillful blending of stunning scenery, gorgeous costumes, skilled period-piece performances, and romantic entanglements that satisfies the senses and nurtures intelligence.

It's the ultimate weekly chick flick, but it's on TV with no commercial interruptions!

If you haven't been watching, it's not too late to catch Jane fever. There are five more Sunday evenings left to help you escape winter's dreary hold and embrace the romance! (check your local PBS listings for air times). You can also purchase the DVD and experience all the sensory magic over and over again.

Check out the details at: www.pbs.org. -and don't forget to support your local PBS station!

Enjoy!

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Honoring Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day 2008

Monday we pay national tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and rightly so.

But as the nation reflects upon Dr. King’s message on this recognized Day of Service, far too many people still view King's dream as one involving only race, allowing them to more easily dismiss the day's significance.

King's ideals serve as powerful examples to all, including to me in my work as a writer, author, speaker and advocate on special needs issues. This timely human rights discussion, one of great magnitude and importance, has been given greater power, understanding and voice because of Dr. King's work.

I parented a child with cerebral palsy, a wheelchair user, for nearly thirteen years. Harsh judgment of Eric’s human value because of disability required me to advocate for his basic rights every day until Eric’s death in 2003 at age twelve. Yet, I am an educated white woman living in the suburbs, complete with a white picket fence.

Dr. King’s words have proved powerful motivators in my difficult walk. ‘I have a dream’ has many times fueled my quest for better life opportunities for my son and others. Mine has been a heartfelt journey filled with both enormous blessings and stinging rejection, along with stellar examples about how spirited leadership impacts human rights from Dr. King and Robert F. Kennedy, another hero of mine.

For more than fifteen years, my tough parenting journey and heartbreaking loss have challenged me to use my voice, talent, and experiences to become a nationally recognized voice on the subject of special needs parenting issues. My son’s life and mine have been infinitely richer because of the gutsy example of Dr. King.

When my son died, I channeled my intense grief into penning a special needs parenting book to help other families navigate the rocky parenting waters a bit easier. I helped establish the annual Eric ‘RicStar’ Winter Music Therapy Camp at Michigan State University, which honors my son’s remarkable gift for music. RicStar’s Camp serves individuals of all ages with a wide range of special needs. We nurture individual ability and serve as an example of successful inclusion in the many communities we serve.

Like Dr. King, I believe strongly that ‘what impacts one, impacts all.’ Only a fine line of circumstance separates us.

Fifty-four million Americans have disabilities; 200 million people worldwide have intellectual disabilities (formerly know as mental retardation). Today, many of these individuals are still undersocialized, undereducated and undervalued. Many face inexcusable struggles familiar to other minorities, making Dr. King’s fire, passion and example critical to my on-going work, and to that of others working for much-needed societal change.

Dr. King's message holds meaning for each one of our lives. Millions of people living with the tough daily realities of special needs understand Dr. King's dream all too well. More than one has taken his/her important place at the forefront of a human rights movement designed to grant millions of children and adults the right to live out their life dreams, too That includes the ground-breaking work of visionaries Eunice Kennedy Shriver, Tim Shriver, and Christopher and Dana Reeve.

Dr. King fought for justice and equality for all. Through my passionate special needs work, I’m proud and honored in 2014 to be living out Dr. King’s dream.

His powerful lessons live on.

The lessons belong to all.

For learn more about Dr. King's work and Monday's Day of Service, visit: www.thekingcenter.com or www.mlkday.org.
JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

I'm a Big Fan of...! -January 2008

You may have noticed that I've started more than one of my ramblings with the words,
'I'm a big fan of... !'

So, I'm making it an official monthly entry!

Here's my January 2008 gush.

I'M A BIG FAN OF JOSH BLUE!

This super-talented comedian shot to fame by winning Season 4 of NBC's hit show, 'Last Comic Standing.'

Josh Blue also happens to have CP, a reality he doesn't shy away from in his act. But it isn't all he delivers either. He helps fight stereotypes by addressing the white elephant in the room, not by tripping over or ignoring the beast.

When Josh first appeared on the show, I admit I found myself hoping he wouldn't be relegated to the sympathy vote by playing on any audience discomfort with disability.

But the confident young comedian quickly became a crowd favorite (and mine), for all the right reasons, providing a valuable, and hilarious example of ability before an international audience.

Josh Blue won 'Last Comic Standing' because he deserved to win, a reality the audience got, including me.

CP aside, the guy's just plain funny.

Check Josh out- and tell him that I sent you!
www.joshblue.com


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Don't Miss Oprah's Monday Tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Be sure to catch Oprah's Monday tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. The Dream Lives On- A Martin Luther King Day Special promises to deliver a powerful hour featuring a well-deserved tribute to this remarkable man who fought for the rights of all people. The program will explore the importance of King's legacy for us today.

King's work holds special meaning for those of us who care about the rights of those with special needs, a huge population that in 2008 is at the forefront of its own human rights movement. I'll be sharing my own perspective about all of this right here on Monday, too.

Let's hope we also see some of the great kids with special needs that O producers auditioned for their 'I Have a Dream, Today!' montage. Keep your eyes open! That inclusion would be huge.

How will you recognize this important day?

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Celebrating the 2008 Detroit Auto Show!

Another annual rite that says Spring isn't too far off is the 2008 Detroit Auto Show, a.k.a. the North American International Auto Show (NAIAS).

One of my fondest memories is attending this event with with my son during the last year of his life. Eric's wheelchair use granted our family early entry to the event, which allowed my son to enjoy the experience and cars up close before the overwhelming masses and die-hard fans descended.

We had a blast helping our budding-photographer son capture some amazing images, photos I now treasure.

Public admittance is: Saturday, January 19, 2008 to Sunday, January 27, 2008. Show hours are Saturday, January 19 to Saturday, January 26: 9:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. No admittance after 9:00 p.m.

Check it out if you can. Word on the street, and in the media, is that it's worth all the automotive hype.

They don't call Detroit the Motor City for nothing!


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Promises of Spring!

The days are getting longer, the sun is getting stronger, and the birds are again warbling sweet early morning tunes!

Have you noticed?


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Wall Street Journal Infiniti Ad & Review of Breakthrough Parenting

In case you're interested, you can catch the profile of my work, and me, in the Infiniti ad appearing in tomorrow's Wall Street Journal on page A 3. Thanks, Infiniti, for recognizing the value of what I do and putting it before such a great audience!

Since the book's release I've been fortunate to continue to receive some terrific press coverage and reviews for my work. I just ran across a recent review in Durham Parent that I especially like, so I'm sharing the link here in case you'd like to check it out.

Editor Kevin Mackinnon gets my work better than most and his review reflects that, especially as he connects my work to that of five-time Ironman Champion triathlete Heather Gollnick, who also has a child with cerebral palsy.

I've often said (and written) that special needs parenting is much like running a marathon without the necessary training.

Mackinnon is a well-known former professional triathlete, a coach/trainer and frequent contibuter to the Canadian Broadcasting Company who is covering the Ironman World Championship in Hawaii this month.

His Nov. 17th, 2007 review of my book appears at DurhamParent.com.

Here's the link: http://www.durhamparent.com/uppingtheparentinggame.html

More great awareness for the cause of special needs!


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY?-January 2008

DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY?...

When people ask us how we're doing on the roughest days, we often fake a funky grin and respond with that all-too-familiar four-letter word, 'FINE.'

You're fine, you say? Sure you are:

...You just got back from a midnight run to ER with a kid who's been running a 104 temp and who's still vomiting non stop on your one clean shirt. FINE!

...You've been up all night with a screaming toddler, while struggling to stay out of bed with the nasty flu bug because you have to meet your child's on-going, never-ending health-care needs. FINE!

..You're preparing for another nerve-wracking IEPT meeting with your less-than-friendly neighborhood school district in the morning and you aren't the least bit prepared. FINE!

...Your family is eating crusty, leftover mac/cheese for the fourth night in a row and there's no sign of clean laundry (or uncurdled milk) anywhere within 100 miles of your house. FINE!

...Your insurance company just denied your claim for the medication needed to improve your child's health, behavior and well being (and yours!). FINE!

...You don't remember when you last took a hot shower, styled your hair, brushed your teeth or changed your underwear ('cause the laundry hasn't been done!). FINE!

You're FINE! FINE! FINE!

But are you?

If you insist on pretending you don't need support from others when you clearly do, then FINE, but don't be surprised if you burn out. When you choose to remain silent about your true needs because you don't want to bother others with overwhelming life demands, you and your family pay a high price.

When it comes to parenting, especially for a child with special needs, it's okay and healthy to ask for help.

So here's an effective tactic I've learned through trial and error (there's lots more tips in my book!). The next time someone asks how you're doing, try answering honestly and tell them what you need. (i.e.: childcare for some time away, a hot meal one night a week, help with all the laundry, a cleaning lady who will scrub the toilets for you, a litle time shipwrecked on a tropical island with no cell phone, time to cry in private, and how about a brand-new-stinkin life!).

The world won't end because you utter these bold words.

True, you might scare a few people away with your new-found freedom to spout freely, and some of the questionable requests will go unanswered (complete with those have-you-completely-lost-it? stares). But then again, you might just get some of your most pressing needs met, including the need for clean underwear.

...and wouldn't that be just fine?


Just asking...


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations.
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Minute Vacations January 2008

Judy's Minute Vacations for January 2008
Lahaina, Maui

I know how hard it can be for parents of children with special needs to find time to get away from their demands and refuel. I also know there are times when you'd like to run away from home, for good! To help keep you from abandoning your kids, I'm starting monthly Minute Vacations on my blog. I hope some of my travel photos will allow you to escape, refuel, and daydream, if only for a short while.

It's amazing what even a little time away can do for your mental health!

Enjoy!


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Motivational Autism Statistic

I'm a big fan of early intervention for most children with special needs. But in case you've been on the fence about seeking out an early diagnosis for a child with autism, here's an important stat that may motivate you to act sooner rather than later. (2008 is all about 'New Beginnings', right?).

According to the Austism Society of America, 'the cost of lifelong care for someone with autism can be reduced by two-thirds with early diagnosis and intervention'.

That's one solid vote for taking action now.

You can learn more about this terrific resource at www.autism-society.org.

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Judy Winter's FAV Quote of the Month January 2008

MY FAVORITE QUOTE FOR JANUARY 2008!

"I've seen and met angels, wearing the disguise
of ordinary people, living ordinary lives..."
-Tracy Chapman


Me, too!

Have you?


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

New Beginnings January 2008

Did you know that the Romans named the first month of the year after Janus, god of beginnings? That according to the Jan '08 issue of one of my favorite magazines Traverse: Northern Michigan'as Magazine (traversemagazine.com). For pure creative visual inspiration I also love Santa Barbara magazine-(sbmag.com). Both provide pure escapism that's healthier for the eye and soul than most reality tv!

But I digress.

I like the possibilities in that simple calendar action taken by the Romans as I face the discovery of my own life goals for 2008. Let's face it, talking new beginnings sure beats talking tired-old resolutions! And writers are all about working hard to find new ways to say the same old stuff.

So what 'New Beginnings' will be on your list of goals for 2008?

I'm still working on mine...

Happy New Year!

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Catch my Interview with Timberly Whitfield on Hallmark Channel

If you want to catch my interview on the program 'New Morning' with Timberly Whitfield that aired on the Hallmark Channel this a.m., here's the link. After today, you'll have to search their archives. It's one of the interviews I did recently in NYC. Timberly was terrific!

http://www.newmorningtv.tv/todaysshow.jsp

Enjoy!


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Judy Winter's FAV Quote of the Month #2 December 2007

During this sacred season too often overshadowed by excessive materialism, I've chosen to end this month's blogging as it began, with a favorite quote. Simple words worth thinking about as we face the tremendous challenges of realizing peace and justice and a healthier planet for all in 2008.

MY FAV QUOTE #2 for DECEMBER 2007!

"If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace."
-John Lennon


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Holiday Blessings to All!

As we close in on one of the biggest holidays of the year (got your shopping done yet?!), I offer huge thanks to all of you for your continued support of my work, especially when it involves improving the lives of children with special needs. Your positive feedback and great stories fuel me on each and every day. I have such respect for what you do 24/7 for your children. Please give them all big holiday hugs from me, and send me your holidays tales!

I wish each of you a blessed holiday season, whatever and however you celebrate. For those who celebrate the sacred day of December 25th (that''s me!), have a very Merry Christmas, and don't forget to water the tree!

Get ready for new adventures, and even greater awareness of special needs in 2008! I plan to continue to do my best to stir things up, for the good of our kids, of course!~ Much work remains.

Peace on earth to all, and yes Virginia, it is possible...or at least that's my grownup Christmas wish. But I'm a hopeless optimistic, forever focused on life's possibilities. To me, the glass is always half full...

Blessings!

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Oprah Show Looking to Cast Pre-Teens with Down Syndrome for Tribute to Martin Luther King!

Here's another opportunity from my friend Gail Williamson for kids with special needs (Down syndrome) to have a shot at stardom- this time on Oprah!

Deadline for submissions is this Friday, Dec. 7th!

OPRAH needs 10 - 11 year olds with DS

10 to 11 year olds with DS and good speaking skills, the Oprah show is looking for you to say a line for their Martin Luther King episode. They will be filming in San Diego on Dec. 19th, (subject to change). The line is currently "I have a dream today." They already have someone deaf doing it in sign, so our talent submissions have to be able to articulate the line. All filmed will not necessarily be in the completed montage. If you are interested please send your child's name, age, your name (parent) and contact number along with a jpg of a photo of your child (just one photo) to this email address with Oprah in the subject line. All submissions have to be received by Friday, Dec. 7, 2007. No work permit will be required, there is no pay for this project.

Gail Williamson
Executive Director
Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles, Inc.
315 Arden Avenue, Suite 25
Glendale, CA 91304
818-242-7871 voice
818-242-7819 fax
gail@dsala.org
www.dsala.org

Gail also shares this information:

Actor Nick Weiland, who has Down syndrome, will be a guest star on “ER” this Thursday, December 6, 2007. According to Gail, Nick has been training at Performing Arts Studio West , an adult day program in Inglewood, CA that trains actors and performers and helps facilitate employment for many of their students.

Nick will also appear on SAVING GRACE, Monday, December 10, 2007 on TNT. The guest star on the episode is Nick Daley also a student at Performing Arts Studio West. There will be several other actors with DS from DSALA Heart Halo Talent as background performers including: Briana Barlow, Elliot Orenski, Bahareh Saviss and Shannon Dieriex.

For all those wanna-be actors/models with special needs out there, here are two valuable industry resources!

www.DSALA.org (DSALA Heart & Halo Talent)
Performing Arts Studio West: http://pastudiowest.com/

Break a leg!!

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

'Including Samuel' From Filmmaker-Dad Dan Habib

One of the really good things about the Internet is how quickly you can connect with others who are doing important work with their lives.

Award-winning photojournalist/filmmaker and dad, Dan Habib, is one of those people.

After hearing Dan's interview on NPR recently about his efforts for inclusion for his son, Samuel, who has cerebral palsy, I contacted Dan. We e-mailed back and forth about our mutual efforts to more positively impact the world of kids with special needs. Dan's son is similarly challenged to my son who passed away in 2003.

Dan's passion, commitment, and his deep love for his child resonated with me. We are made of similar parenting cloth. I like what Dan is doing a lot. So I've listed his two websites in my FAV resources for 2007/08. But he's worthy of another shout out here.

Check out this terrific dad and find out more about his powerful documentary, 'Including Samuel' at:

http://www.danhabib.com/ or http://www.includingsamuel.com/.

Dads like Dan are true VIPS!

I love sharing great resources with you!


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Judy Winter's FAV Quote of the Month December 2007

MY FAVORITE QUOTE FOR DECEMBER 2007!

'In the practice of tolerance,
one's enemy is the best teacher.'
-the Dalai Lama

Good food for thought...

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Giving Thanks for All Your Children!

While traveling a bit more slowly than usual yesterday on an ice-covered highway near a major city, I was struck by the following message on a holiday billboard. It read:

Give Thanks for All Your Healthy Children!

The wording got me thinking (again) about how many people believe that having a child with any kind of health challenge or disability is a fate worse than death (it's not), and how often our media messages help support this kind of limited thinking.

My first reaction was to stop the car, get out, climb up the billboard and X out the word healthy, making the message read:

Give Thanks for All Your Children!

Though tempted, I didn't go that far in my advocacy (except in my mind), but you get my drift. Fortunately, my level-headed husband was behind the wheel and he's a stickler about safety on the road. That includes not stopping in response to my highway whims at a moment's notice!

Plus, we were on our way to a wedding and I was sporting four-inch heels!

If you are blessed with healthy children, you should give kudos to the universe, and to God, for these gifts. But we should also remember that all children are valuable and worthy of our thanksgiving, including millions of children challenged by health issues and a wide range of special needs. Our public messages can and should better reflect more inclusive content.

Healthy or not, they are all our children.

I, for one, am thankful for each and every one of them.

And for flat, comfy shoes....


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY? -November 2007

With just hours left, here's my entry for November 2007!
Better late than never!


DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY?...

...drivers who run red lights, roll thru stop signs, speed excessively, drive drunk, and in general ignore the rules of civility on the road just seem to selfishly assume that their 'competition' on the road is going to follow the rules, and save them from becoming an innocent accident victim or worse yet, a fatality?

Many people are clueless about how many serious, life-changing traumatic brain injuries (TMI) and early death, are the result of wreckless, foolish driving habits. We need to have a better understanding of how in an instant, our choices behind the wheels of these powerful weapons of steel can lead to death or life-long disability.

Plus, we should be outraged that 6,000 teens a year die in car accidents!

Why do good drivers have to continually drive more defensively because of the lousy choices of others? When will we do more to address this bumper-car/Indy-500 mentality and help prevent such unnecessary and costly disability?

Just asking...

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

The Compassionate Friends Annual Worldwide Candle Lighting will be held December 9th

For those of you who have lost a child, and for those looking to support loved ones facing this tremendous loss, I'm thrilled to remind you that The Compassionate Friends annual Worldwide Candle Lighting will be held on December 9th.

It has been nearly five years since I lost my own son. I know how tough the holidays can be for a bereaved parent and their family and friends. The death of a child is the worst loss anyone can be asked to endure, but I know you can survive with the right support; I'm living proof. That's why I'm pleased to again share this tremendous resource with you.

The Compassionate Friends "is a national nonprofit, self-help support organization that offers friendship, understanding, and hope to bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings." They have no religious affiliation and there's no cost involved, either.

To read more about my own involvement in this annual event, visit my December 2006 entry on this blog. To find out more about this year's event and the non-profit organization responsible for the candle lighting effort, visit http://www.compassionatefriends.com/.

May this simple ceremony bring you peace this holiday season. For one night, it may help you to know that you are not alone. Millions of others do understand your pain and your tears, including me.

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Judy Winter's FAV Resources for 2007/08!

Here are some of my FAV Resources for 2007/08!

If you think I've missed a great resource others should know about, send it along and I'll consider adding it here. Check back often for updates!

Knowledge is Power!

American Music Therapy Association, Inc.
www.musictherapy.org
Eric 'RicStar' Winter Music Therapy Camp (aka RicStar's Camp!)
Michigan State University/Community Music School
www.cms.msu.edu

Autism Society of America
www.autism-society.org

Best Buddies International
www.bestbuddies.org

Josh Blue
www.JoshBlue.com
www.joshbluefans.com

Dr. Lisa Boesky (Teens with mental health disorders)
www.drlisab.com

Keri Bowers
films: The Sandwich Kid (sibs) & Normal People Scare Me (autism)
www.normalfilms.com

Bridges4kids
www.Bridges4kids.org

Kathlene Carney
my publicist
www.carneypr.com

Center for Educational Networking (CEN)
search Judy Winter in the archives for my many articles on special needs!
www.cenmi.org

The Compassionate Friends
for those grieving the loss of a child
www.compassionatefriends.com

Conductive Learning Center/Conductive Education
www.aquinas.edu/clc

Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation
www.christopherreeve.org
Paralysis Resource Center
www.paralysis.org

Council for Exceptional Children (CEC)
www.cec.sped.org

Jeanie Croope
the creative blog of a good buddy
http://themarmeladegypsy.blogspot.com

DisabilityInfo.gov
www.disabilityinfo.gov

Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles (DSALA)
Gail Williamson, Exc. Dir.
www.dsala.org

Brooke Ellison
www.brookeellison.com

Catherine Fowler
my agent
www.redwoodagency.com

Dan Habib, photojournalist/filmmaker/dad
www.danhabib.com &
‘Including Samuel’
www.includingsamuel.com

Joyworks!
a joyful & dear friend!
www.joyworker.com

Mackinac Island
one of my favorite places to write in the world!
www.mackinac.com

Martin Luther King, Jr.
www.MLKDay.org
The King Center.org

Maui Writers Conference
www.mauiwriters.com

National Early
Childhood Technical
Assistance Center
www.nectac.org

National Center on Secondary Education
(NCSET)
www.ncset.org

National Dissemination Center for Children
with Disabilities (NICHCY)
www.nichcy.org

The National Family Caregiver’s Association
www.nfcacares.org

Partnership for Learning
search Judy Winter for my many columns on special needs!
www.partnershipforlearning.org

Alan Rinzler
my editor at Jossey-Bass/Wiley Publishers
www.josseybass.com
www.alanrinzler.com

John Schneider
a good friend and great columnist!
www.lsj.com

The Sibling Support Project— SIBSHOPS
www.siblingsupport.org

Special Olympics
www.specialolympics.org

Erik Taylor Photography
www.eriktaylorphotography.com

Johnnie Tuitel
www.johnnietuitel.com, plus:
Alternatives in Motion (providing wheelchairs for those in need)

U.S. Department of Education
www.ed.gov

United Cerebral Palsy (UCP)
www.ucp.org

VSA arts
www.vsarts.org

WrightsLaw
www.wrightslaw.com

Jenna Winter
www.jennawinter.com

Writer's Digest
www.writersdigest.com



JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

I LOVE VSA arts

If you follow my blog, you know I'm a big fan of VSA arts (www.vsarts.org), which 'provides educators, parents, and artists with resources and the tools to support arts' programming in schools and communities.'

How cool is that!?

Here's some new information courtesy of the most recent VSA arts' newsletter that I find well worth sharing. The innovative, non-profit organization has launched a new Web site for teachers/parents that offers arts'-based learning tools to help kids with disaiblites learn alongside their peers and succeed. (key word: succeed!).

Check it out: http://www.startwiththearts.org/.

And while you're there, check out their 'Call for Writing' contest, too.

I lOVE VSA arts....


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Remembering Eric

Here's another one of those entries being relocated to my blog during my Web-site redesign.

Enjoy Remembering Eric!


As Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations is finally released, perhaps the best way for me to explain the value of this important work is to tell you about the enchanting child who first inspired its honest, heartfelt words—my son, Eric Richard Winter.

As I write these words, it is the third anniversary of my son’s sudden and dramatic passing. Much like that cold, dreary day in 2003 when we laid our only son to rest in the frozen, dark earth, today is snowy and frigid. Thundershowers, freezing rain and high wind advisories are expected for later today, part of a crazy weather pattern that refuses to release its dreary grasp—not unlike grief itself.

The environmental chaos suits my reflective mood well.

It’s perfect for burrowing deep beneath cozy blankets with a steaming mug of ginger-peach tea to escape emails and burgeoning promotion demands to remember an amazing and much-loved child who made a difference in the lives of many, especially mine. The brilliant red cardinal that has come to represent Eric’s spiritual visits to me now sings sweetly outside my window, perched on branches heavy with virgin snow.

As Breakthrough Parenting takes its rightful place on bookstore shelves just three years after Eric’s death, my son’s powerful presence continues to embrace me gently.

There are those who refuse to believe that modern-day heroes exist, but I know better. For nearly thirteen years I had the honor of parenting a pint-sized hero housed in a body assaulted by the often harsh physical realities of cerebral palsy. My son was a wheelchair user who spoke few words. Eric couldn’t tie his own shoes, brush his teeth or dress himself. He never ran track, played basketball, carved his own pumpkin, or bolted downstairs on Christmas morning to grab his overflowing stocking.

Eric never asked, why me?

Yet, he could charm the heck out of strangers on any street, anywhere.

The 'Winnie the Pooh' balloon I gave my son on his last Valentine’s Day still sits in his deserted bedroom, refusing to deflate completely—a stark reminder of the last holiday we shared together. It’s a haunting reminder of the fragility of life and of how often we live our days selfishly, with reckless abandon and little regard for what fate has in store for us before the day’s end— much like a casino gambler with no regard for the rent now loudly screaming past due.

Unexpected loss is humbling; it blindsides you, leaving the dazed and wounded struggling to find renewed purpose in their lives. That’s a tough order for any bereaved mother to fill. My loss is ill fitting, but I move about in it anyway, and stumble often. Reminders of my son, along with my purpose for going on without him, are everywhere— in brightly colored folders filled with edited book proposals, detailed promotion plans, final chapter edits, and on-going marketing demands.

The author files have taken over my life, granting me a solid reason to keep breathing— my need to share Eric’s life to offer other families hope, validation and valuable parenting support. I owe my son’s remarkable legacy at least that much.

My big writer’s dreams of publication have now come true— but my loss is huge.

Eric was a bright, charismatic child with wise eyes, a megawatt smile and an infectious laugh. His diagnosis of cerebral palsy at birth drastically altered the course of my life. I chose to parent him as a child of value. Our lives were tremendously challenging at times, sheer magic at others.

Spending time in Eric’s presence became a gift.

The wounded child became the adored teacher; the disabled kid redefined ability; the child sensitive to touch and noise sat quietly in movie theaters; the infant who struggled to take his first breath became a confident student included in his neighborhood school.

At his death, Eric was composing music in his weekly music therapy classes, and exhibited a charming, sophisticated sense of humor. Disability didn’t define who Eric was, at least not in our home. Those who took the time required to connect with him beyond his disability were rewarded with lasting lessons about dignity, grace, determination, ability, and the value of individual differences.

Eric redefined the word charm.

My son will always be my greatest life teacher. So rather than sit mourning over my tough loss, I am instead moved today to celebrate Eric’s life, excited about what he has achieved through me as a result of the literary journey he helped select for me years ago.

It was Eric who first fueled my passion to write Breakthrough Parenting. We were the dynamic duo, committed to impacting positive societal change for children with special needs. We knew just how tough it was to walk the special needs parenting road. We fought hard for greater societal awareness and accessibility for those with special needs every single day. It was no easy feat.

Every time the bar of expectations for Eric was raised, he surpassed the goals.

Fortunately, Eric always knew his true value. As he approached the teen years, he became increasingly determined to use his life struggles and successes to help other children live better lives. We agreed that Breakthrough Parenting needed to be written.

I had no idea that I would be required to slice open a deep vein of fresh grief to meet my contractual obligations as an author—to write something worth reading by the world.

How appropriate it is that something so beautiful has risen from the still blazing embers of grief.

My son taught me the power one person holds to impact positive change. He taught me to be passionate about a just cause and to work hard to make seemingly impossible dreams come true. He taught me to treat others with respect, even when I had cause to do otherwise.

I wrote Breakthrough Parenting to help millions of children and families facing special needs lead better lives. I know this book can change lives. As you read my heartfelt words, and the insightful words of others who have walked the special needs path well, I hope you experience a bit of my son’s magic, too.

Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations is the ultimate tribute to a great modern-day hero— my son, Eric Richard Winter. This is his book, too.

Congratulations, RicStar! We did it, together...


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Judy Winter's Fav Quotes Feb. 2006-May 2007

I'm in the process of a new Web-site redesign that will soon be up and running with cool new stuff. But that means some things currently on the site need to go. As a result, I'm relocating a few of the old highlights that I think you may still enjoy accessing to this blog, where they will live on and on and on....

Fact is, I'm terrible at making quick decisions about what needs to stay and what should go..... this is much easier on my brain!


Judy Winter's Favorite
Quote of the Month
February 2006-May 2007

May 2007

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."
–Anais Nin


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April 2007

"I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues."
–Duke Ellington


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March 2007

"You're put on this planet to serve more than just yourself."
–Michigan Governor Jennifer M. Granholm


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February 2007

"It is not difficult to fill the hand of a child."
–African Proverb


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January 2007

"Today, I act with resilient optimism."
–Julia Cameron


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December 2006

"If one man's rights are denied, the rights of all are endangered."
–Robert F. Kennedy


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November 2006

"Don't live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable."
–Wendy Wasserstein


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October 2006

"I am still learning."
–Michelangelo


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September 2006

"Be courageous. It's one of the only places left uncrowded."
–Anita Roddick


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August 2006

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."
–Mahatma Gandhi


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July 2006

"Some choices will choose you. How you face these choices... is what will define the context of your life."
–Dana Reeve


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June 2006

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
–Theodore Roosevelt


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May 2006

"To remain silent and indifferent is the
greatest sin of all."
–Elie Wiesel
Nobel Peace Prize Recipient
and Holocaust Survivor


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April 2006

It is not who we meet along life’s highway
that matters, it is how we treat them.”
–Goldie Hawn


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March 2006

“When I approach a child, he inspires in me two sentiments: Tenderness for what he is, and respect for what he may become.”
–Louis Pasteur


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February 2006

"Anyone who has experienced something
is more expert in it than the experts."
–Gloria Steinam

Thanksgiving 2007

On this quiet, gentle little holiday that somehow manages to survive between the glitz of Halloween and the commercialization that threatens the heart of Christmas, I'm pausing to reflect on my blessings, and like many of you, give thanks.

It has been an incredible year for me in many ways. Yet, I'm most thankful for the honor of still being able to serve as a spokesperson/advocate for a population of terrific kids that are too often undervalued, undersocialized and undereducated. I believe passionately in the value of each and everyone of these children, and in you, too. My amazing son, Eric, taught me well.

I am incredibly thankful that I will always be his mom.

What are you thankful for?

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

November is National Family Caregivers Month!

You may have been too busy caretaking to notice, but the President of the United States has again proclaimed November National Famiily Caregivers Month.

According to the National Family Caregivers Assocation (NFCA), this month "is designated as a time every year to thank, support, educate and celebrate more than 50 million family caregivers across the country currently providing an estimated $306 billion in "free" caregiving services."

Wow! We all know that families living with special needs give it all they've got each and every day, but those numbers are staggering. Family members often do what they do without enough time off, enough income or funding support, or any well-deserved kudos. Yet the gifts they provide their loved ones are truly priceless.

Where would we be as a country without these unselfish family members?

For more on caregivers support for your family, check out the NFCA web site: www.nfcacares.org, and the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation at www.christopherreeve.org.

Taking care of youself goes a long way toward helping you care for others.

THANK YOU for all you do 24/7 to make life better for someone else!


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Celebrating My Life as a Writer!

I'm about to embark on yet another hectic week of travel for in-studio media interviews, first to NYC for New Morning with Timberly Whitfield (Hallmark Channel), and Fox Radio News. Then I'm off to Chicago to chat again with Steve Cochran at WGN-AM. (more about those exciting adventures after the fact!).

I'm also throwing in a couple of extra days in Chicago to enjoy the annual Lighting of Michigan Avenue with my husband, daughter and her boyfriend. Hanging out with these two young people is one of my favorite things to do. Their creative young minds and contagious spirits always energize me!

I'm hoping the weekend's festivities will help me kick start my holiday season, because I've been stuck hard in summer mode thanks to an unusally warm Midwestern fall.

While packing for the upcoming week and trying to decide whether or not to pack my Uggs, I again found myself thinking about how much I love my work and traveling, which caused me to reflect on a question recently asked of me at a book signing.

"If you weren't a writer, what would you most like to do?"

My answer was quick and to the point. 'Sing professionally!'

I've always been envious of all those amazing humans who can open their mouths and effortlessly express powerful emotions by merging haunting melodies and meaningful lyrics. The enormous talent of Joni Mitchell, James Taylor, Josh Groban, Stevie Nicks, Celine Dion, the Eagles, and so many others, blesses our lives in sometimes dramatic ways.

Who doesn't love music?!

But then I remembered how powerful the written word is and that most writers are pretty cool people, too. So I tossed a quick prayer of thanks high into the heavens for the gift of being able to interweave words and facts to tell an inspiring story well. Then, I expanded on my initial gut response.

'American Idol fame may never be mine to claim, but I'm okay with that now. Because I'm doing exactly what I was put here to do-- and sometimes, if I get all the words just right, I might help enlighten others by creating greater awareness about the value of differences, and dash some terribly outdated stereotypes, and maybe even change a child's life.' (She asked)!!

Now I like to tell people that I sing with words, and that kind of performing suits this rambling writer just fine.

Have a great week, and sing out to your heart's contentment! Because that's what showers and loud background music are for...


JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter

Buying Toys & Facing Holiday Grief

The frantic holiday season is upon us, and with it comes a tad of holiday stress. Are you feeling it yet? Here are two great resources to help reduce that anxiety, and heighten the joy and magic of this wondrous season.

GIFT BUYING FOR KIDS WITH SPECIAL NEEDS:

When it comes to choosing a gift for kids with special needs, most people have no clue as to what's appropriate. That uncertainty contributes to additional familiy stress that leads to hurt feelings and major disappointments, especially for the child receiving gifts that are neither skill-level nor age appropriate (not to mention no fun). No matter how well intentioned, poor gift selection for a child with special needs hurts.

Key Tip: Reserve baby toys and baby talk for babies!

But thanks to retail toy giant Toys 'r Us, who has again produced its terrific annual Toy Guide for Differently-Abled Kids ('a toy selection guide 'for parents and friends of children with disabilities'), you're off the hook! They've done much of the special needs research required for gift-giving success for you.

By partnering with the National Lekotek Center (www.lekotek.org) in Chicago, (which includes a helpful 'Top Ten Tips for Buying Toys' on its website), the retail toy giant is again helping ensure that the holiday toy wishes of kids with special needs come true, too. The 2007 guide features spokesperson and First Lady of California Maria Shriver, on its cover. It is available now at Toys 'r Us stores nationwide and can be downloaded at: www.Toysrus.com/DifferentlyAbled.

As Maria Shriver states in her letter of guide introduction: "These toys help to empower differently-abled kids, encouraging them with a 'can-do' attitude in a world that too often assumes they cannot."

Amen, sister!

Kudos, and extra peppermint fudge, to Toys 'r Us and the National Lekotek Center for creating such a great gift for kids with special needs! Wish I could see all the satisfied grins on the faces of kids with special needs on Christmas morning. No more excuses for poor gift selections for these terrific kids, yea!

But I can't help you with grandma and grandpa...
___________________

FACING THE HOLIDAYS WHEN YOU ARE GRIEVING:

Facing grief presents a much bigger holiday challenge than finding the perfect gift. For those mourning the passing of a loved one, this season can be especially brutal. Most of the messages at this time of year focus on warm fuzzies, sacred family traditions, noisy celebrations, sinful homemade treats, family movies, and perfectly adorned gifts.

For those endurring great loss, the promise of these often unattainable Hallmark moments can make the holidays excruciatingly painful.

Four years after my son's death, I still find the seasonal terrain a bit rocky to travel. But I've learned how to incorporate my huge loss into the festivities by being selective about how I spend my time, energy and money. Plus, I prioritize quiet time to honor my loss and reflect on my son's too-short life. I remember all too clearly that first holiday season after Eric's death. It went way beyond tough.

I feel fortunate to share a great resource with you that has helped me walk through the minefields of past holiday seasons. 'A Decembered Grief: Living with Loss While Others are Celebrating' by Harold Ivan Smith interweaves quotes and scripture to help others more successfully navigate this season of wonder amid loss. A companion journal allows readers to record their individual thoughts and memories, as they work toward reclaiming new lives. I'm sure I'll pull the book out again this year, too.

It is both comforting and healing to have an understanding friend along on such a difficult seasonal journey...

My hope is that both resources brighten your holidays.

JudyWinter.com
Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations
MySpace.com/judy_winter