RicStar's Camp Update:

Drum roll, please! Registration for the 11th annual RicStar's Camp is now open to ALL. Go forth and make merry music, but get registered first. 

Celebrate Abilities, too!

Details here.


Erik Taylor Photography. All rights reserved.

RicStar's Camp Update!

Reminder to all RETURNING RicStar's Camp participants! Just two more days before registration and all the music making and fun open up to ALL. Secure your place now. Camp will be full. Wait list rarely, if ever, moves. You've been warned. :)

Focused on Celebrating Abilities!

Find out more here.

Erik Taylor Photography. All rights reserved.

The Sandwich Kid & Special Needs Sibs:

A few years ago, I was involved in a wonderful sibling project called, The Sandwich Kid, a short film about the role of siblings in special needs families. Filmmaker/friend/mom, Keri Bowers, just re-shared this wonderful work with me and now I’m sharing it with you. I’m proud to have been part of this valuable effort, one that still has great impact today. See it here.

If you can’t watch the entire promo but would like to hear my words, I come in around 6:30. But I think the entire piece is worth your time and view. You can find out more about the complete video of The Sandwich Kid and Keri’s other work on special needs here.

Siblings of brothers/sisters with exceptionalities will always be my heroes. 

Faces of Ability: Evan Fiorella

My hubby and I loved having dinner  last night with our Canadian friends and RicStar's Camp participant, Evan Fiorella and his terrific mom, Alison. We are so proud of Evan and inspired by his amazing talent and determination in light of the challenges of having cerebral palsy and  wheelchair use. 

Here is a recent State News feature on Evan and his love for and study of music at Michigan State University's Community Music School. Well worth the read. Makes me proud to be a Spartan.

We're also incredibly proud that RicStar's Camp exists. Music changes lives. So do great families like the Fiorellas.

What's your child's big dream?

Heads up! Get on board with the new R-word. Respect.

http://www.r-word.org.

Yeah, I like that.

Today, I remember my son, my muse, my greatest teacher, Eric 'RicStar' Winter. Reflecting on rich lessons learned from a light that still shines so brightly. Gone a decade. Gone too soon. 

Forever in my heart.

Judy Winter Photography. All rights reserved.

Reminder: Most of my special needs posts now appear on my professional Facebook page. Here are the links to  my current social networking sites.

Facebook- Special Needs Parenting Posts

Pinterest- Special Needs Parenting Board-Fav Resources

Twitter-Judy Winter

Tumblr-Winter Visions: pretty things. pretty words. pretty images. General interest blog.

Brief update to the post below and others like it, Sometimes I'm asked if publicly addressing/flogging such naughty behaviors only adds to the person's fame/name/time in the media spotlight. In this case, I don't think Joan Rivers needs my help with fame. She's already got it.

What people sometimes don't fully understand about my work is that one of the big responsibilities I've taken on as a special needs advocate/writer is to not remain silent, always shake it off, join in the nervous snickering and then quietly go away when the special needs population is insulted or worse. Whether or not the person in question ever apologizes isn't the point. Although, if they do, it's a bonus.

I boldly speak up in hope of bringing greater awareness, sensitivity, understanding and much-needed intelligent conversation about those with special needs to help counter the on-going perpetuation of deep-seated ignorance, stereotypes and insulting behaviors about disability that exist today. I bring words to light and examine them. That's part of my job and I hope my actions help give others permission to speak up, generate valuable conversation and become effective advocates in their own way.

In short, I believe strongly that:
Saying nothing. 
Doing nothing. 
Changes nothing. 

And changing nothing goes against everything my passionate work/advocacy of the past twenty years stands for. So, expect more calling-them-out mini rants from me in the future. I call it balancing things out and working loudly for needed change.  You can agree or disagree with what I write. 

My hope is you'll raise your voices where needed, too. There's already way too much silence.
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Tuesday a.m. Mini Rant: Special Needs Slap on the Head to Joan Rivers, always focused on rudely bullying everyone with her nasty tongue. 

In recapping 2013 Grammy fashion hits/misses on E's Fashion Police, Rivers slams one artist wearing a dress she doesn't like by saying: "She looks like the Homecoming Queen for the Special Olympics." Yes, she said that.

In a world increasingly focused on the devastating effects of bullying, why does E/Fashion Police think this woman and her rude, hurtful digs add anything to this show? I just turn it off.

You can do better, E.

You, too, Joan Rivers. You're old enough to know better.

Weekly Special Needs Coverage TV Alert Recap. 

It's been a good week for awareness for a diverse range of exceptionalities. Check out a couple of my favs on my Facebook page. Kudos, Katie Couric and Ricki Lake!

Monday Mini Rant: 

A couple of days ago, I viewed a great video piece about a young man with special needs. Overall, it was well reported and powerful. But, as too often is the case, it also included an introduction to the story that included the words, 'the man 'suffers' from..... (name of his disability). An unnecessary, negative word that detracted from otherwise good reporting. It also suggests an air of pity.

So here's my reminder to the media. Please, try to refrain from using the word 'suffer' or 'suffering' whenever you are reporting on or writing about someone with special needs. 

How do you know they are suffering?

Better to simply say/report that the person has.....(name of condition), rather than suffers with.....
Please, lose the emotional, lacking-in-objectivity embellishment, one which may or may not be accurate. Thank you!

Monday Mini Rant over.  

Special Note: Here's an Article I penned a while back to help your further understand why such word usage is especially sensitive to many families facing the challenges of special needs parenting. 

When you know better, you do better.

Ravens Superfan, Matthew Jeffers, Gives Powerful Perspective on Super Bowl XLVII and On Life and Helps Redefine Disability

"The only disability in life, is a bad attitude." -Matthew Jeffers

As Super-Bowl Sunday approaches and the yearly sports furor escalates to new heights, here's some perspective from Baltimore Ravens superfan Matthew Jeffers, a 21-year-old acting student and senior at Townsend State University in Maryland. 

Jeffers, who is short statured, has boldly faced many tough life challenges and is now facing one more. His mother may be dying. Jeffers recently sent an e-mail entitled, 'A Reason to Win,' to Ravens Head Coach, John Harbaugh, hoping to fuel his team on to victory. Jeffer's words got the coach's attention big time. If the Ravens win on Sunday, they should offer a special thanks to Jeffers, who just may have provided the team with that special extra something and golden motivation needed to win it all. 

Everybody should view Jeffers powerful message. It's better than the Super Bowl commercials. Yes, it is. The media is all over this feel-good story. You'll be hearing more.

Thank you, Matthew Jeffers, for putting the game of life into perspective so beautifully.

Click here to watch the Ravens superfan  deliver his powerful words/performance.

A star is born, one focused on ability.

ANNOUNCING REGISTRATION FOR RETURNING CAMPERS FOR THE 11TH ANNUAL ERIC 'RICSTAR' WINTER MUSIC THERAPY CAMP:

Drum roll, please! 

Announcing the 11th Annual Eric 'RicStar' Winter Music Therapy Camp at Michigan State University's Community Music School (MSU/CMS) in East Lansing, Michigan. As we open the camp doors for our second, terrific season of celebrating music and abilities, there are a few important changes. First: New location in the beautiful, newly renovated Community Music School on Hagadorn Road right across from the gorgeous MSU campus. Second: We will have two camps this year, instead of just one. 

-Children and adolescents will make music on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, June 10th thru June 12, 2013. 

-Adults will attend camp on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, June 13th thru June 15th, 2013. 

-For returning campers, that means the yellow/green/pink/orange groups will meet Monday thru Wednesday. The blue/lime green/purple/red groups will meet Thursday thru Saturday. 

-Both camps will have an end-of-camp Be-a-Star Showcase and all campers will perform on stage. 

-Returning campers can mail in the required registration form with payment beginning TODAY! Camp fees are $195 per camper and $375 for two campers/same family. 

-Campers five years old and younger will have the option of attending in the morning or in the afternoon. The fee for the half-day campers is $100. 

-The 2013 RicStar's Camp will begin accepting NEW campers on March lst.  That means that returning campers must have their registration form/payment in the CMS office BEFORE March 1st.  Reminder: camp fills up quickly each year and the wait list rarely moves.

-Repeat: You must have your completed registration form/payment into the CMS offices asap in order to hold a place on the camper list. Please, make sure you sign the registration from on the front AND back. 

-Contact Cindy Edgerton, RicStar's Camp director, if you're intersted in receiving financial aid or if you have additional questions, including opportunities for campus lodging. 

RiStar's Camp focuses on ability, modeling inclusion and celebrating the power of music to change lives. We also have lots of fun. See you at summer camp!  

Note: CMS is currently updating their site with the 2013 info/registration. If needed, you can also download the 2013 registration form at my website JudyWinter.com, click on RicStar's Camp page.

Reminder: Most of my special needs posts now appear on my professional Facebook page. Here are the links to  my current social networking sites.

Facebook- Special Needs Parenting Posts

Pinterest- Special Needs Parenting Board-Fav Resources

Twitter-Judy Winter

Tumblr-Winter Visions: pretty things. pretty words. pretty images. General interest blog.

NEW INTERVIEW-HOLIDAY TIPS AND SPECIAL NEEDS FAMILIES:

I was hoping to have my recent December interview about special needs holiday tips before now, but better late than never. Hopefully, this will provide you with on-going support for all those future gatherings/celebrations. It's not seen during this interview, but my book's title is, 'Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations.' I'm also an expert contributor to the book, 'Easy to love but Hard to Raise: Real Parents, Challenging Kids, True Stories.' My words also appear in the book, 'A Special Kind of Love: For Those Who Love Children with Special Needs,' and in dozens of newspapers/magazine columns and features, both in print and online. Reminder, that you can also access most of my new posts on Facebook. Facebook Page-Special Needs

Interview on You Tube: 
Holiday Tips and Special Needs Families

Former Interview about my book on this same program:
Special Needs Families/Judy Winter-Author

You can find samples of some of my national interviews at JudyWinter.com/media page.
Judy Winter Website/Media Page

Reflections on Sandy Hook

I will begin this new week as I have done after each new senseless loss and tragedy, especially after the death of my own son, with acts of kindness. And, my certified therapy dog, Jack, and I will return to serve our local elementary school of 2nd/3rd graders this week with more than just coveted holiday candy canes and reindeer ears (Jack). We will bring with us renewed purpose, more open hearts and listening ears, tighter hugs and greater appreciation for the tough work facing the educators/staff daily, many of whom I know would do exactly what those at Sandy Hook did. We don't respect this profession nor support it nearly enough, even as so many of our children arrive with increasingly complex needs. That, too, must change. 

Will you please join me with your own actions of compassion this week? You won't have to look far to uncover a need. Promise. 

Less rhetoric. More action.





















My angel and greatest teacher, Eric Richard Winter. Jenna Winter Photo.

Reminder: Most of my special needs posts now appear on my professional Facebook page. Here are the links to  my current social networking sites.

Facebook- Special Needs Parenting Posts
Pinterest- Special Needs Parenting Board-Fav Resources
Twitter-Judy Winter
Tumblr-Winter Visions: pretty things. pretty words. pretty images. General interest blog.

Since all those festive commercials will soon be in full force, I've decided to post my annual holiday tips early, too. My hope is that the tips that are part of Creating Holiday Magic for Kids with Special Needs help make your celebrations a bit more joyful, no matter what traditions you honor. Feel free to share these tips, but please credit JudyWinter.com/2012. All rights reserved.

____________________________________________

Creating Holiday Magic for Kids with Special Needs:

-Interact with family members with special needs, and encourage others to do the same. If the child uses a wheelchair, kneel to eye level and address the child directly. Allow other kids in the family to buddy up and assist the child with special needs in hanging ornaments, frosting cookies, setting the table, or passing out presents. Help that child participate whenever possible, while teaching other kids in the family valuable, lasting life lessons.

-Practice forgiveness whenever possible. Most family members don’t intentionally set out to exclude children with special needs. They often require education, support and positive examples to bring them up to speed. By focusing on creative solutions, families can help realize holiday magic for kids with special needs, too— and that’s in keeping with the spirit of the season.

-Buy age/skill-level appropriate gifts for the child with special needs. Regardless of how well intentioned, inappropriate gift selection for children with special needs hurts. When in doubt, ask parents for gift ideas, or obtain a copy of the child’s holiday wish list. Reserve baby toys (and baby talk) for babies! Key Note: Toys 'r Us offers an annual Toy Guide for Differently-Abled Kids, 'a toy selection guide 'for parents and friends of children with disabilities,’ to ensure the holiday toy wishes of kids with special needs come true, too. The 2012 guide with Nancy O'Dell on the cover can be downloaded here: Toys R Us.

-Communicate! Don't assume others can read your mind. They can't. Instead, arrange family meetings to discuss your child’s needs and how to best address them. Provide needed training and brainstorm ways to include the child with special needs in family activities. For example, if a he/she uses a wheelchair, address accessibility issues and plan activities in locations that don’t involve stairs. Speak up now to help prevent bigger misunderstandings and hurt feelings later on. Family members, you can reach out and initiate problem solving, too. Our children are always worth our best efforts, and your support to these families is priceless.

-Redefine your expectations. Throw all those visions of a perfect Hallmark family holiday right out the garland-draped window! Instead, ask what memories you want to create for all of your children. Having a child with special needs does not mean you must forgo memorable and fun holiday moments and traditions. Think creatively! It's worth the effort.

-Inclusion is the name of the game! Kids with special needs are children first, with big dreams and long holiday wish lists, just like other kids. Whenever possible, include the child in holiday festivities and activities like tree trimming, baking cookies, shopping for gifts, and attending church services (use the cry room if needed). Include that child in family holiday photos and videos, too.

-Address food allergies and noise/touch sensitivities and make allowances for them. The seasonal bounty this time of year can result in overload for many children, especially those with sensory, auditory and food issues. Kids with food allergies may not be able to eat all the traditional goodies most of us eagerly gobble up. Discuss alternative choices and inform family members about any life-threatening food allergies so they don’t offer the offending food to the child.

Wishing you the happiest of holidays!

Judy Winter

Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations

https://www.facebook.com/BreakthroughParentingForChildrenWithSpecialNeeds
Winter Ramblings Blog

Flickr Page

Reminder to those visiting  my blog. I am now posting most special needs parenting comments/resources/links on my Facebook page Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs. Here's the link:

Sheryl Crow's Use of the R-Word at Michigan Concert-One Mom's A.M. /Morning AfterRant

Update: Oct. 23, 2012: Coulter's at it yet again. This time she used the word 'retard' to insult the President. Really? How 'intelligent' of her. So, that means I need to repost my Winter rant about r-word use/ignorance and I've done just that on my FB page and Twitter. 

You can talk back at Coulter, here. https://twitter.com/AnnCoulter/status/260581147493412865. 

One reminder about my rant. I like Sheryl Crow. Coulter, not so much.
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We can add Ann Coulter to this rant now, too.http://ontheculture.com/ursula-a-plea-to-ann-coulter

Per request: For those of you who have no interest in being on Facebook, and also want to share this piece with others more easily, here's my Facebook piece about Sheryl Crow and her use of the r-word in her Michigan concert last night. Read and share. Teachable moment.
_____________________________________________________

A.M. Winter Rant:

Okay, before I get into the meat of today's unexpected and longer-than-usual rant, which involves Sheryl Crow and the R-word, indulge me. I love Sheryl Crow and her music. When I recently scored second row tickets to see her in my backyard, I was one pumped-up groupie. This music dream only got better when hubby and I arrived at the Wharton Center for Performing Arts in East Lansing, Michigan last night and discovered there was no opening act. I had a perfect view of the singer and an empty chair to my right on an otherwise full floor. Crow and her band energetically and informally took the stage on time and proceeded to talk nice about our town. More points earned. Crow looked and sounded great. Blonder hair, slammin body, strong arms, looking more and more like her best friend, Jennifer Aniston, all the time. On the first song, her voice sounded better than ever. I'm loving the evening so far.

But the lovefest rudely ended when Crow invited the audience to sing along with her and joked about about how foolish this all looked. Then, she used the words 'look retarded' to further make her point. Oh yes, she did, just like her bestie Aniston, who got called on the same misuse of language a while back. The singer followed the r-word slip with words to the effect: 'That's not nice You've got to be careful what you say these days', complete with a smirk, pretending to chastise herself. Sincerity lacking? Nothing learned from her best friend's experience? Can't feign ignorance. Well, Ms. Crow, I can't pretend I didn't hear you say the word. 

Hate to spoil a good music party, but you started the rumble.

Reminder. This woman I've admired for a long time is a vocal activist for valuable breast cancer awareness/fundraising, a breast-cancer survivor and a role model for many woman. She is the single mother of two adopted children, and an important example for them. She's an extremely talented musican/songwriter who comes off as smart, kind and saavy in media interviews. Crow has big power to impact lives in postive ways, and she's done just that. Now suddenly, she appeared flip and cruel like a high school mean girl. Out of character? Or more of the same of those on-going/open-season hits on people with special needs by celebs and others? 

Enough, already.

Before she made my ears ring and heart sink, Crow talked a bit about herself, saying she used to be a more vocal activist, adding, "But when you have kids, who has the time?"

What she didn't count on was that I would be in the audience to challenge her words. Rather than reduce my role as an activist, my role as the mother of a child with special needs for nearly thirteen years demanded that role increase daily. I had to become a pit-bull activist/mom for a child with cerebral palsy who passed away far too soon, a reality that still has the power to bring me to my knees. 

Crow didn't know I'm passionately committed to improving the lives of those with special needs, including by trying to end use of deragotory, limiting, outdated hate speech. She didn't know that her word choice would cut me to the core, quickly bringing up all those tough and painful moments of trying to help my son successfully navigate a world that often refused to see his value, one quick to judge what they were certain was his 'grim' future. All those moments of swallowing unspoken anger, while trying to make things better for my son, suddenly reignited by the careless utterance of one word far too many people think doesn't matter. 

My role is to tell you why it does.

Sheryl Crow doesn't know my son loved the guitar and female singers, had a gift for music uncovered at an early age and has a popular annual music therapy camp named in his honor at the very University where she took the stage. She didn't know that Eric would have loved to attend her concert and I would have worked hard to make that happen, even if I had to carry his heavy wheelchair down a flight of stairs. She didn't know he would have been mortified by her flippant use of this r-word in his presence, and mine. 

She had no idea how much more difficult Eric's life and mine became when his physical challenges, including limited speech, caused many to wrongly assume that my son had an intellectual disability, too. Crow has no idea Eric was composing music through weekly music therapy classes shortly before he died. She had no idea that she had ruined a magical evening for this mom, and brought up tough, still-unresolved issues of parenting and loss before the guitars had even begun to sing.

To say I suddenly felt uncomfortable and angry would be an understatement, and I'm all about word choice. I could have feigned a nervous laugh, joined in with others in the crowd who still don't get what the fuss is all about. I wanted to bolt, but I stayed put, looking to make sense of a frustrating and on-going challenge of figuring out how to get people to understand why the careless banter of this one word is so offensive and destructive, and why it should stop.

The concert continued and Crow took to the front of the stage to the delight of the crowd. I was close enough to reach out and have my hand grabbed, as several people around me did. But I had no desire to reach out and connect with the singer. The excitement was gone. Nothing was the same as before she said the word. I spent the next sixty minutes convincing myself that is was my job to call her out on this. It's part of what I do. 

For the past twenty years, I've been a voice for the silent, the maligned, the underdog, trying to stop them from being the butt of rude, cruel jokes, helping them nagivate unnerving neighborhood school hallways and believe in their children's value. I speak up on their kids' behalf, when they can't or won't. So, I spent the rest of the concert writing much of today's rant in my head. I can't believe how often I must still do this. All I wanted to do was enjoy a concert and night out. But I'm a special needs advocate, and I take the role seriously. I don't care how big a star you are, the rules in my advocate's head are the same. You make fun of the population, or do things that get in the way of them living better lives, I will call you out.

Crow used a word now considered by some to be hate speech, and acted, as too many others do, as if it were no big deal, political correctness run amok. Just a joke, right? Would she had done that with other, more recognized hate speech during her concert? Would she have made fun of people who'd had mastectomies or have survived chemo and are left with physical disfigurement? Would she have made fun of other families who've adopted children like her, but then found out their children have hidden special needs, including intellectual disabilities, a big reality in today's world of international adoption? Doubtful. 

When the concert ended, I was left with an empty experience, not because Crow and her band didn't deliver musically. They did. But because the evening was tainted by a word Crow never needed to utter. She was doing just fine without it.

Reality is, I now see her differently. Maybe I scored these tickets so I could get the fuel needed for this rant to fight any complacency I might feel when I start believing we've come far in achieving valuable special needs awareness for this population and grabbing a share of their civil rights, too. Maybe this event was designed to keep me from going soft in my role of ever-vigilent advocate and writer's voice. 

I've ranted before about use of the r-word, but I'd ever experienced it firsthand in the presence of a celeb. Until last night. Sure, I could have ignored it, gotten past it and enjoyed the great concert. But I would have had to go against all I stand for. I'd be dishonoring millions of individuals with special needs worldwide, their hard-working, dedicated families, and all my work has stood for during the past twenty years. I'd be dishonoring my beloved son.

Reality is I had to fight harder for Eric every single day of his life because of the perpetuation, ignorance and lack of understanding of the value of this population fueled, in part, by continued use of one not-so-simple word. Retarded. The word continues to fuel painful, outdated and ugly stereotypes that help roadblock individuals trying make their lives count for something, too. That's why it's not just a word, and I refuse to be silent about it's careless, casual use just because this instance involved Sheryl Crow.

Crow has mucho talent, smarts, and big influence that could help create greater understanding and awareness of the special needs population and their tough fight for equality. If she doesn't know better, she should. Let's hope one day her own children aren't the subjects of cruel talk about children who've been adopted. Let's hope she teaches them that using the word retard in our school hallways, or ever, is not okay. Let's hope she teaches them tolerance, love and understanding for all. She seems like that kind of woman.

Words do hurt, and I will continue my efforts to help people better understand or at least, stop and think before they use them. I will also continue to appreciate Sheryl Crow's music, but something has changed. Perhaps she will apologize for her word choice or encourage others to end the use of the r-word at her future concerts. Maybe not.

Either way, here's my heartfelt request to you, Sheryl Crow. One loving mom, one spirited advocate to another. Please, consider refraining from using the r-word ever again in your concerts and public appearances. You don't have to honor my request. But I have to voice it. It's at the core of who I am. To quote lyrics to one of my once favorite songs of yours, 'I believe the change will do you good,' and I know it would positively impact millions of individuals with intellectual disabilities, and their families worldwide, too. Thanks for listening to MY words. 

All I wanted to do last night was have some fun. Sigh.

Rant over.

Sheryl Crow Uses R-Word at Michigan Concert

I came away from Sheryl Crow's Michigan concert with more than I bargained for. Check out my FB Sheryl Crow Uses R-Word at Michigan Concert special needs rant of Crow's use of the R-Word last night.